


Sins of the Past

by InvisiMeg



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/F, Romance, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:51:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 81,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6295756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvisiMeg/pseuds/InvisiMeg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After meeting a stranger, Clarke learns that everything in Arkadia isn't as it seems. Now, with time running out, she has to stop the past from catching up with them before it's too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello

**Author's Note:**

> Well, welcome to my first real Clexa fic. I hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“Hey! Clarke!”

The blonde turned her head at the sound of her name. There were a number of people around, but she didn’t have to look around to know who’d called out to her.  A moment later, the clanging coming from her right had stopped and she looked over to find Finn with his hand raised in greeting and a smile on his face.

“I’m surprised to see you down here this early,” Finn commented as Clarke walked toward him.

“My mom needed my help with a patient,” Clarke replied.

Finn nodded his head.  “She still with Mr. Lombardo?”

“Yeah, but it’s not looking good,” Clarke replied.  “She wanted me to bring a few things to make him more comfortable.”

“Fun way to start your morning, huh?” Finn asked, giving her a small smile as he leaned his shoulder against the wooden beam he was standing next to.

“Oh yeah,” Clarke said, taking a few steps forward, enjoying the feeling of the warmth that was emanating from the shop Finn worked in.  “I don’t know why I don’t start every morning like this.”

“I’m actually glad you came by,” Finn remarked.  “I have something for you.”

Finn pushed off the beam, disappearing into the shop, and Clarke followed him inside a few moments later.  Even though the shop was fairly open, the moment she crossed the threshold, she felt like she’d been hit with a wall of heat.  And like every other time she’d walked into the blacksmith shop, she wondered how Finn could tolerate working in there.

“Here,” Finn said.  “I didn’t have time to really wrap it or anything.  I had to make it after Mr. Lott left and I just finished it last night.” He shrugged and then smiled at her.  “Happy birthday, Clarke.”

He extended his hand, revealing a small, metal pendant at the end of a chain, sitting in the palm of his hand.  She reached out and picked up it, brushing his rough skin with her fingertips as they closed around the black disk.  When she looked closer, though, she realized it wasn’t entirely black.  There were streaks of different shades of blue, mimicking the night sky.

“What do you think?” Finn asked.

“I—”

“Why is it so cold out there?  Oh—Clarke.”

“Hi, Raven,” Clarke said.

“I didn’t know you were here,” Raven said, glancing at Finn for a moment before looking back at Clarke.

“I was just giving Clarke her birthday present,” Finn said.

“I thought Mr. Lott said you couldn’t do that anymore,” Raven replied.

“How’s he going to know?” Finn asked.

“I should go,” Clarke said before Raven could respond.  “I told Wells I would see him this morning.  Thank you for the gift, Finn.”

“Are you coming to the pub tonight?” Finn asked.

Clarke shrugged.  “I haven’t decided yet.”

“C’mon,” Finn replied.  “You gotta come.”

“She’s a big girl, Finn,” Raven said.  “If she doesn’t want to come, she doesn’t have to.”

“Well, everyone’s going to be there,” Finn said, looking at Clarke.  “You should try to stop by.”

Clarke nodded.  “I’ll think about it.”

“Later, Clarke,” Raven said.

“Stay warm out there,” Clarke replied before shifting her gaze again.  “Thank you again.”

Clarke turned on her heel and began walking down the lane again, heading toward the entrance of the Ark.  She could tell the salespeople were eager for her to come over, but she continued on without stopping at any of the booths.  She did take a moment to glance at the newly hung, blank canvas at the back of one of the shops, but she still didn’t slow her stride as she passed by.  She knew it was there specifically for her since most in Arkadia couldn’t afford the luxury and those who could weren’t interested, but she was already running late and didn’t have time to stop.

“You’re out early.”

“So are you,” Clarke remarked, looking over at Bellamy, who was standing guard next to the large doors that led into the Ark.

“Late, actually,” Bellamy replied.  “That asshole Murphy didn’t show up for his shift and I had to cover for him.” Bellamy clenched his jaw and shook his head.  “You coming to the pub tonight?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Clarke said, stopping a few feet away from him.

“It’s your birthday; you have to come,” Bellamy replied.  “Unless you plan on spending it at home with your parents.”

“Remarkably, I don’t have any plans,” Clarke said.

“Well, then, you should come out with your friends,” Bellamy replied.

“We’ll see,” Clarke said with a light shrug of her shoulders before continuing toward the Ark entrance.

“You should really learn to have a little fun, Princess!” Bellamy called after her.

“I know how to have fun,” Clarke mumbled to herself.

***

“Hello, Clarke.”

“Hello, Chancellor,” Clarke greeted before noticing her father by Chancellor Jaha’s side.  “Dad, what are you doing here?  I thought you were at work.”

“I’ll let you two talk,” Jaha said, clasping his hands behind his back, and walking out of the room.

“What does he want us to talk about?” Clarke asked, not liking how ominous it sounded.

“I have to go away for a few days, maybe a week” Jake said, putting his hands on her shoulders.  “He thinks there’s something that can help me with the project I’ve been working on.  There are some people he wants me to talk to.”

“Does mom know you’re going?” Clarke asked.

“Thelonious just told me about it, so I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet, but she knows how important this is,” Jake replied.  “For all of us.  You don’t need to worry, though; I’ll have a team with me.  He’s even sending four guards.”

The fact that the Chancellor thought her father needed four guards wasn’t exactly comforting to hear.  She knew it was dangerous outside the walls of Arkadia.  She’d heard the same stories as everyone else and they all boiled down to one thing: venture too far away and you were likely to never be seen again.

“Don’t worry; I’ll be back before you know it,” Jake said, smiling at her.

“Promise?” Clarke asked.

“I promise,” Jake replied.  “Now, do you know where your mother is?  Is she still with Mr. Lombardo?”

Clarke nodded.  “She doesn’t think it’s going to be much longer, though.”

“Alright,” Jake said, running his hand through his hair.  “I’m going to go to work for a little bit to take care of a few things before I leave, and then I’ll be home to pack some things.  Maybe your mom will be home by then.”

“Do you want me to say anything to her if I see her first?” Clarke asked.

“No,” her father replied.  “I should be the one to talk to her.  You know how your mom worries.” Jake sighed.  “It’s just too bad I have to leave today of all days, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon I get back.”

“It’s fine,” Clarke replied.  “Like you said, it’s important.”

“Jake, can I talk to you a second?” Chancellor Jaha asked, appearing in the doorway.

“I should find Wells,” Clarke said.  “I told him I would be here already.”

“He should be in his room,” Jaha said.

“Thank you,” Clarke replied before looking at her dad.  “I’ll see you at home.”

Clarke glanced at the Chancellor and then back at her father before heading toward the staircase.  She hated the idea of him leaving Arkadia and wished there was something she could do about it, but she knew there would be no talking him out of going.  Not if he thought it was important for the community.

“Hey, Wells,” Clarke said when she arrived at his open door.

“There you are,” Wells said.  “I was wondering if you were ever going to come by.”

“I’m sorry.” Clarke apologized.  “My mom needed me to drop off some supplies before I came over.”

“It’s okay,” Wells replied.  “Did you see your dad?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said.  “He told me he’s going away for a few days.”

Wells nodded.  “My dad told me last night.  Don’t worry; I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” Clarke replied.  “He didn’t happen to say where he was going, did he?”

“No, but I did see a map,” Wells said.  “I didn’t recognize the area, though.  I don’t think it was nearby.”

“That’s not very comforting,” Clarke replied.

“I’m sorry,” Wells said, furrowing his brows.  “But my dad wouldn’t send him if he thought it was dangerous.”

Clarke didn’t know if she agreed with him, but she didn’t say anything.  Her father was going whether she liked it or not, so there was no use dwelling on it.

“Is that new?” Wells asked, pointing at Clarke’s necklace, pulling her out of her thoughts.  “I don’t think I’ve seen it before.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said, looking away.  “It was a birthday present.”

“Let me guess,” Wells replied, and she could hear the exasperation in his voice.  “Finn gave it to you.”

Clarke nodded.  “I ran into him in the market on the way here.”

“I wonder what Raven would think about that,” Wells said.

“She was there, actually,” Clarke replied, turning to look at Wells.

“Oh,” Wells said with a frown, clearly not expecting that answer.

“They were asking if I was going to go to the pub tonight,” Clarke stated. 

“What did you tell them?” Wells asked.

“I told them I hadn’t decided what I was doing,” Clarke replied.  “What do you think, though?  Do you feel like a drink tonight?”

***

As Clarke walked down the candlelit lane, she could already hear the noise coming from the pub.  It was usually the loudest area in Arkadia and the only place the guards didn’t attempt to enforce the noise laws.  It wasn’t some place Clarke frequented often, but her dad was gone, her mom was still with her patient, and Clarke really didn’t feel like spending her birthday all alone, and since most of her friends were going to be there, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to go.  Plus, it would be a good distraction from wondering if her dad was okay.

He had left right after lunch, coming home to pack what he needed for his trip.  She’d tried asking him more about where he was going, but he had either been unable or unwilling to give her any details.  From something he’d said, she guessed he was going south, but beyond that, she knew nothing other than the fact that they were traveling by horseback, which was something that was rarely allowed.  In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time it happened.

“Hey, Princess.”

Clarke stopped, rolling her eyes at the nickname, and turned around to look at Bellamy.  “Are you ever going to stop calling me that?”

“You decided to go after all, huh?” Bellamy asked, nodding down the street, ignoring her question.

“I told you I hadn’t decided yet,” Clarke said.

“It’s not the first time I’ve heard that and you never showed,” Bellamy replied.  “In fact, I can’t remember the last time you came.  It makes me wish I wasn’t on duty tonight.”

“I thought you were coming,” Clarke said, wondering why he was trying to get her to go if he wasn’t even going to be there.

“I was, but Miller and Monroe both have that flu that’s been going around,” Bellamy replied.  “And since I’m one of the few that your mom hasn’t ordered to stay in bed, I get to pull a double again.  Lucky me, right?  What are the chances I could fake having a fever and get a vacation from wall duty the next few nights?”

“Probably not very good,” Clarke replied.

“Still could be worth a try,” Bellamy said with a shrug of his shoulder.  “Have fun, Princess.  Oh, and do me a favor and keep an eye on Octavia,” Bellamy added as Clarke started to turn to walk away.  “She said she’s going to stay home tonight, but I know she’s going to be there.”

Clarke nodded and Bellamy gave her a nod back, smiling slightly before turning and heading toward his post.  She normally wouldn’t have agreed, but she knew how important Bellamy’s sister was to him; with the Blake’s mom gone, Octavia was all he really had left.  That didn’t mean she was going to stop Octavia from having fun, but she would keep an eye on her as Bellamy had asked.

She could hear Bellamy’s boots on the stone path as she began walking in the opposite direction.  Just as the sound of his footsteps died out, though, she thought she heard another set of footsteps coming from the alley to her right. However, whenever she looked down the small path, she couldn’t see anyone even though she felt like she was being watched.

“Bellamy?” Clarke called out, wondering if he had come back around for some reason, but there was no answer.

Clarke figured it was just her imagination playing tricks on her, so she slowly turned, and with one last glance toward the darkened alley, she began walking again.  It wasn’t until she was standing in front of the pub that the feeling of being watched finally passed, though she didn’t see another person along the way.  Not that she was overly worried; one scream and she could have multiple guards there within moments.

“You came!” Monty said when he opened the pub door and saw her.

“You’re leaving?” Clarke asked.

“I’m coming right back,” Monty replied.  “Jasper forgot his jacket at my house and somehow he convinced me to go get it for him.” Monty shook his head and then gave her a smile.  “I’ll be back in a few minutes; don’t have too much fun without me.”

Clarke returned his smile and walked through the door when he held it open for her.  The noise in the pub was almost deafening, but the first floor was where the bar was, so it was always packed.  Thankfully, when she walked up to the second floor it was a little less crowded, but the noise quickly grew when there were several calls of, “Clarke!”

“You came,” Finn said when Clarke walked over to the long table where he and a dozen others were sitting at.

“Why does everyone sound so surprised?” Clarke asked, crossing her arms over her chest.  “I can have fun, you know?”

“I know,” Finn replied.  “In theory.”

Clarke huffed.  “I’m going to need a drink.”

“Well, then, bottoms up,” Raven said, sliding her drink toward Clarke, and smirking.

***

“Come on,” Raven said, grabbing Finn’s hand.  “I want to dance.” Finn sighed, but Raven pulled him to his feet.  “Don’t give me that; you’re dancing with me.”

Raven grabbed Finn’s shirt and pulled him forward, causing Jasper to make a whipping motion with his hand.  Monty and Octavia both laughed, and Clarke smiled slightly as she looked down, wrapping her hands around her glass of beer.

“What do you think the chances are that that girl in the corner would dance with me?” Jasper asked.

“You won’t know unless you ask,” Monty replied.

“Come with me,” Jasper said.

“Why?” Monty asked back.  “Do you need me to ask her for you?”

“No,” Jasper replied.  “I need you to ask her friend so she’ll be more likely to dance with me”

“Her friend isn’t my type,” Monty stated.

“Just one dance,” Jasper replied.

“You boys are so pathetic,” Octavia said as she stood up.  “Just go over there and ask them.”

“I’ll owe you one,” Jasper said, looking at Monty.

“You already owe me at least fifty,” Monty replied.

“Well, then, I’ll owe you fifty-one,” Jasper said.

“Fine,” Monty replied, sighing.  “But one of these days you’re going to have to pay on that debt.”

Jasper happily jumped up, but Monty didn’t look nearly as thrilled.  His shoulders were slightly hunched as he followed his best friend over to the two girls in the corner, and he stood back as Jasper animatedly talked to the two.

“So, did my brother ask you tell him if you saw me here?” Octavia asked, pulling Clarke’s attention away from Jasper and Monty.

“No,” Clarke replied.

“Really?” Octavia asked.

“Really,” Clarke replied.  “And even if he did, I’m not here to stop you from having fun.”

“Well, in that case, I’m going to get us both another drink,” Octavia said with a smile.

Clarke glanced at her glass, which was almost completely full. “That’s really not necessary.”

“You’re getting it anyway,” Octavia replied.

Octavia passed behind her and walked toward the stairs, leaving Clarke alone at the table.  With everyone gone, Clarke thought about slipping out unnoticed, but just as she started to move her chair back, she heard a voice say, “You’re rather popular.”

“So popular I drive everyone else away,” Clarke joked, looking at the brunette who’d spoken to her.

“The whole room sang to you,” the brunette said.

“Oh, that,” Clarke replied, still embarrassed by everyone singing to her for her birthday.  “I think they just want a reason to celebrate.”

The brunette nodded.  “And what are they celebrating?”

“It’s my birthday,” Clarke replied.  “I’m eighteen today.”

As the girl took Octavia’s vacated seat, Clarke took a better look at her, realizing she had never seen her before.  And she was certain she would remember this girl.  Arkadia wasn’t that big of a place, after all.

“I don’t think we’ve met before,” Clarke said.  “Are you from one of the farms?”

The brunette nodded.  “My name is Lexa.”

“I’m Clarke,” she replied.  “Do you come to the city very often?”

“No,” Lexa replied.

“I didn’t think I’d seen you around before,” Clarke remarked.

She didn’t know most of the families who worked the farmland outside the walls of Arkadia.  Their children didn’t usually attend school with the rest of them since they were needed to work, and they usually couldn’t afford to come to the market like the rest of the citizens.  They did come into town from time to time, though, and Lexa didn’t really look like any of the farmers she’d seen in the past.

“Your friends appear to be enjoying themselves,” Lexa commented.

“Yeah,” Clarke agreed, following her gaze, and watching Jasper and Monty dancing with the two girls with Finn and Raven nearby. “They do.”

“Is there a reason you’re sitting over here and not over there with them?” Lexa asked.

“Coming here isn’t really my thing,” Clarke admitted.  “I just didn’t want to be alone tonight.”

“Why isn’t it your thing?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shrugged.  “I guess I’m just not one for overcrowded rooms with bad music.  I guess I usually like to stay home.”

“I see your point,” Lexa replied.  “But it does have its advantages.”

“Oh yeah?” Clarke asked, raising her eyebrow.  “Like what?”

“Like being able to dance,” Lexa said, standing up, and offering her hand to Clarke.

Clarke’s first instinct was to decline the offer and she opened her mouth to do just that.  Before saying anything, though, she paused for a second, wondering what it could hurt.  After all, all her friends were out there having fun, so after a moment, she gave Lexa a smile and said, “Alright.  One dance.”


	2. Caught

By the time Clarke woke up the next morning, the sun was already beginning to rise.  She was usually up well before the sun, but she’d been out later than she’d planned thanks to her friends and an unexpected stranger.  After meeting Lexa, though, Clarke hadn’t been quite as inclined to leave, and then her friends had slowly come back, making it impossible to get away even if she’d wanted to.  Thankfully she hadn’t had an overabundance to drink, so she’d come out of it with only a minor headache.

Between the headache and still not getting enough sleep, she took longer than usual to get ready, but she wasn’t really in any hurry.  With her dad gone and her mom usually gone before dawn, she figured she was the only one home, so when she finally walked downstairs and into the dining room, she was surprised to see her mom sitting at the table.

“Dare I ask how late you were out last night?” Abby asked when she looked up at Clarke, her eyebrows rising.

“Late,” Clarke admitted.

“Did you have fun?” Abby asked.

“More than I thought I would,” Clarke replied.

Abby nodded.  “I’m guessing little too much fun?”

“I’m fine,” Clarke said, shaking her head.

“Well, be sure to drink plenty of water today,” Abby replied.  “And make sure you eat breakfast.  Do you need me to give you anything?”

“I’ll be okay,” Clarke said.  “I only have a minor headache.

“Good,” Abby replied.  “Because I imagine one of your friends will be feeling a little differently this morning.  When I was coming home last night I saw Monty practically carrying Jasper home.”

“Yeah, they were still there when I left,” Clarke said.  “What time did you come home?”

“Around three,” her mom answered.

“And Mr. Lombardo?” Clarke asked.

“He passed away in his sleep,” Abby replied.

Clarke nodded, figuring that was the case if her mom was there.  “I’m sorry.”

“Sometimes all you can hope to do is ease someone’s pain,” Abby stated.

Clarke knew it was always hard on her mom when she lost a patient, even one who had been sick for a while like Mr. Lombardo.  She had even been there a few times to witness it and she could see how deeply it affected her mom.  With every patient she lost, Clarke could tell the weight on her mom’s shoulders got a little heavier.

“Do you have any plans for today?” Abby asked.

“I thought maybe I would go to the market,” Clarke answered.  “I’m running low on a few art supplies, and I saw a canvas there yesterday that I’d like to go back and buy.”

“Will you do me a favor and pick up a few things?” Abby asked.  “There’s a list on the sideboard.”

“Sure,” Clarke replied.

“I’m going to be at the clinic all day,” Abby said.   “Hopefully I’ll be back for dinner, but if not, I’ll send word.”

Clarke couldn’t count how many times she’d heard that before, and almost every time her mom showed up far past dinnertime.  As much as she wished her mom was around more, Clarke didn’t resent her for it.   Abby was Arkadia’s best doctor and everyone there depended on her.  She knew her mom wished she could be there for dinner, but it just wasn’t always possible, which was something Clarke had learned to accept from an early age.

“If you stop by the bakery, can you pick up an extra loaf of bread?” Abby asked.  “I owe Jackson one.”

“How do you owe Jackson a loaf of bread?” Clarke wondered.

“I ran out of food at the clinic days ago and he’s been kind enough to keep me from going hungry,” Abby replied.  “And before you ask why I didn’t just ask you to go to the store, I’ve already asked you to do enough errands for me this week.  This is supposed to be your week off, after all.”

“I don’t mind,” Clarke said.

“I know you don’t, but I want you to enjoy your time off while it lasts,” Abby replied.  “Which is why this is the last thing I’m going to ask of you this weekend.  I want you to have fun the rest of it.  Although, not too much fun.  I don’t want you to come in tonight with alcohol poisoning like one of your friends did last weekend.”

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “Jasper’s an idiot.”

“If you need me, you know where you can find me,” Abby said, standing up, and grabbing her bag from the sideboard table.  “Although, I would advise staying away if you can.  With the flu going around, there have been a lot of contagious people at the clinic.”

“I’ll definitely avoid it if I can help it,” Clarke replied.

“Be careful,” Abby said, kissing Clarke’s cheek. 

“You too,” Clarke replied.

***

Clarke felt one of the bags slowly slipping between her fingers and she tried to shift the canvas under her arm to get a better grip on it, but it was too late.  She felt the straps of the bag slide out from her grasp before she could do anything about it.  She cringed in anticipation of everything spilling out onto the road, but when she opened her eyes, she was surprised to find everything still intact.  And she was even more surprised to find that it hadn’t even hit the ground at all.

“Nice reflexes,” Clarke remarked.

“You look like you could use some help,” Lexa said.

“I’ll be okay,” Clarke replied, not wanting to impose on someone who was little more than a stranger.  “It’s fine.  Just—”

Clarke was cut off when the canvas under her arm began to slip, but she managed to use her knee to stop it from hitting the ground.  She let out a light laugh when Lexa’s eyebrow rose and admitted, “Okay, maybe I could use a little help.  I just need to stop by one more place and then I’ll be done.”

Lexa nodded.  “Lead the way.”

Clarke glanced to the side at Lexa and then began walking with the brunette by her side.   “I wondered if you would still be around today.”

With so much noise and so many people around, they hadn’t been able to do a whole lot of talking the night before.  They danced and drank some, but they were mostly entertained by the rest of the group.  Lexa, in particular, had remained quiet for most of the night, seeming to prefer to observe rather to join in, and she had left before Clarke had the chance to ask if she was staying in town.  Clarke left the pub right after Lexa had, hoping to catch up with her, but the brunette had disappeared much to Clarke’s disappointment.

“So, are you staying for the festival?” Clarke wondered, glancing at Lexa again as they walked down the road.

“I may,” Lexa replied.

Clarke nodded; she wondered why Lexa had come into town if she wasn’t there for the festival, but she decided not to ask.  She didn’t know much about Lexa, but she could usually tell if a person was open or not and she definitely didn’t get the sense that Lexa was.  She was actually surprised that Lexa had ever come up to her in the first place, and maybe that’s why she found herself intrigued by this girl and she didn’t want to drive her away.

“It’s the one with the blue roof,” Clarke said.

“It’s small,” Lexa commented.

“I know, but she’s the only one who makes what I’m looking for,” Clarke replied.

“And what are you looking for?” Lexa asked.

“That,” Clarke said, her eyes falling on several small containers before she looked over at Lexa.  “Paint.”

“Are you an artist?” Lexa asked when Clarke picked up one of the glass containers.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Clarke replied, turning the paint over in her hand.  “It’s just a hobby.  I guess I just find painting and drawing relaxing.”

“And what part of that means you’re not an artist?” Lexa asked.

“The part where I’m not very good,” Clarke replied.

“Don’t listen to her.”

Clarke looked over her shoulder at Finn, who was passing by with his eyebrow raised and had clearly been eavesdropping on them.

“Don’t listen to Finn,” Clarke argued, turning away from him.  “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Yes, I do!” Finn called out as he walked away.

Clarke rolled her eyes and picked up the two other containers of paint from the table, looking at the saleswoman, and ignoring Finn.  “I’ll take these.”

She noticed a smile pass across the shop owner’s and Clarke knew she was just happy to be making a sell.  Many of the shops along the street were small, going up every morning and coming down in the evening, and they sold whatever they could to try to make enough to survive on.  So she could imagine how happy the woman was to be selling her the paint.  They were a luxury and probably the most expensive thing she would sell all month.

“Would you like me to add it to your tab?” the woman asked.

“That’s okay,” Clarke said, handing over the money with a smile.  “Will you be getting any more in soon?”

“What are you looking for?” the woman asked.

“I’m running low on yellow,” Clarke replied.

The saleswoman nodded and then smiled.  “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said, smiling back before looking at Lexa.  “I know it’s a little early, but are you hungry?”

***

“Back again?” Octavia asked Clarke before eyeing Lexa.

“Do you know any other place that serves lunch?” Clarke asked.

“Touché,” Octavia replied.  “Follow me.”

Clarke frowned slightly as she began following Octavia and asked.  “Why are you working here?  I thought you were working at the Chancellor’s house.”

“Harper has the flu and since today’s my day off—” Octavia shrugged.  “They know I know how to serve and Bell thought we could use the money, so here I am.  So much for my one day off, huh?  I’m going to remind him of this the next time he’s complaining about how hard he works.  At least he’s not stuck inside all day.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke replied.  “I know how much you wish things were different.”

“Don’t we all,” Octavia said.  “Well, most of us, anyway.”

Even though Clarke knew it was a dig at her, she tried not to take it personally.  Arkadia was very much a place of haves and have nots, and fortunately for Clarke, she was a member of the former group.  Octavia, on the other hand, was not.  She was only a year older than Octavia, so they had grown up together and she even considered her a friend, but there would always be a divide between people like Clarke and people like Octavia whether they liked it or not.

“Is this table okay?” Octavia asked.

“This is fine,” Clarke replied.

“And does the silent one object?” Octavia asked, giving Lexa a slight smirk.

“This is fine,” Clarke repeated..

“Holler at me whenever you know what you want,” Octavia said.  “Oh, and our special today is some sort of pork stew, but between us, I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Thanks,” Clarke replied.  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Do you come here often?” Lexa asked, glancing at Octavia as she walked away.

“No,” Clarke answered.  “Not anymore.  My dad and I used to come almost every week, but it’s been a while.”

“Why don’t you come anymore?” Lexa asked.

“He’s been really busy with work,” Clarke replied.  “He’s been working on this project for over a year, and he hasn’t been around as much as he used to be.”

“You sound like you miss him,” Lexa remarked.

“My mom is the doctor in town, so when I was growing up, she wasn’t always around a lot,” Clarke said.  “My dad was always the one who was home for dinner every night and would help me with any schoolwork I didn’t understand and who would bring me here for lunch on Sundays.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa replied.  “I know what it is like to be away from your parents.”

“You don’t live with yours?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shook her head.  “Not for a long time.”

Clarke looked down with a frown, feeling guilty for complaining.  Her parents may be busier than most, but at least she did get to see them almost every day.  And she still had both of her parents, which was more than she could say than a lot of the people she knew.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said.  “I can’t imagine how hard that must be.  I just assumed you lived with them and that they had probably been the ones to send you here for business since you’re not in town for the festival.”

“No,” Lexa replied.  “Although, I do have some business to take care of.  It is why I’m here.”

“Where exactly is your farm?” Clarke wondered.

“To the south,” Lexa answered.

Clarke nodded.  She hadn’t really been outside the city walls, but Bellamy had taken her on top of them once, so she had gotten a fairly good view of the farmland.  The walls around the actual city were about thirty feet high and was surrounded by several miles of farms that gave them all enough food to live.  Beyond the farmland was another smaller wall that protected the farmers from outside dangers, though Clarke had heard many stories of it failing to do what it was built for.

“How many times have you come to the city?” Clarke asked.

“This is my first time,” Lexa replied.

Clarke nodded.  “I guess that would explain why I’ve never seen you before.  How long are you going to be here?”

“I don’t know yet,” Lexa answered.  “I’ll be leaving as soon as I’ve taken care of what I came here to do.  So far it hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Clarke asked.

“Why?” Lexa asked back.  “Do you wish me to leave faster?”

“No,” Clarke replied.  “Why would I want you to do that?  Maybe I was hoping I could help you, so it would free up your time, and then I could convince you to stay a little longer.”

“You know, you two can’t order if you don’t ever look at the menu.”

“Thanks, Octavia,” Clarke sarcastically replied, annoyed by the interruption.

“Maybe we should look at these,” Lexa said, picking up two of the menus, and handing one to Clarke.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied.  “Maybe.”

***

“You really don’t have to carry that if there’s somewhere else you need to be,” Clarke said.

“There’s nowhere else I need to be right now,” Lexa replied.

Clarke nodded; she didn’t want Lexa to feel like she had to stay, but she would have been disappointed if she had left.  It was so rare to meet someone close to her age that she didn’t already know—she actually couldn’t remember the last time that had happened—and it was nice getting to know her.  Of course, it also didn’t hurt that being around Lexa gave her the same feeling as whenever she had been around Finn in the past.

“How did that happen?” Lexa asked.

“They still don’t know,” Clarke said, following Lexa’s gaze toward what could be seen of the charred buildings in the southeastern side of the city.  “My guess is they probably never will.  Everyone has a different theory, but I think everyone just wants someone to blame.  No one wants to think a fire can just happen and kill fourteen people.”

“What was over there?” Lexa asked.

“It was mostly residential,” Clarke answered.  “Most people got out, but some weren’t so lucky.  The whole area burned down before they could contain it.  They’re working on redeveloping it now, but they haven’t really told us what they’re doing with it.  The only thing I know is they’re building a bigger clinic.”

“Are they always so secretive?” Lexa asked.

Clarke opened her mouth and then closed it for a moment before saying, “They didn’t used to be.”

“What changed?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shrugged.  “Your guess is as good as mine.”

“You said people lived there,” Lexa said.  “Did you live there?”

“No,” Clarke replied.  “I’ve always lived in the center of the city.”

“The Ark,” Lexa said.  “I’ve heard others talking about it.”

“I can imagine what you must have heard,” Clarke said, giving her a wry smile.

People didn’t usually say a lot around her, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t heard the comments about the Ark and the people who lived there.  Most of the houses in Arkadia were tiny and cramped, with multiple families living in one building, but the people who lived in the Ark lived much differently, and there was a lot of resentment because of it.

“Do you want to see it?” Clarke asked.

She assumed Lexa hadn’t been up there unless she had somehow snuck in.  The entrance to the Ark was always guarded and people who didn’t live there weren’t allowed in unless invited by one of its residents.  The only time its gates were open to everyone was during the festival when the whole town was invited inside.

“Okay,” Lexa replied. “Although, it’s beginning to look like I’ll see it tomorrow.”

Clarke looked down, nodding, but then looked back up at Lexa.  “Does that mean you’re staying?”

“It looks like it,” Lexa said.

“What made you change your mind?” Clarke asked, giving Lexa a slight smile as she began leading them to the Ark’s entrance.

“Hey, hold up, Clarke. Who’s this?”

Clarke stopped with a sigh and looked at the guard before turning to Lexa.  “What’s your last name?  I have to put you on the list.”

“My last name?” Lexa asked back.  “Woods.”

“Add Lexa Woods to the list of people who are allowed to visit,” Clarke said.

“Does she know she needs an escort in there?” Miller asked.

“I’ll tell her,” Clarke said, though she found the rule a little absurd.

Miller nodded.  “I’ll put her on the list, but make sure you tell her.  I have to put my name on saying I explained all the rules.”

“Is everything okay?” Lexa asked.

“He just wanted me to tell you that you’re not supposed to be alone when you’re here,” Clarke said.  “You’re always supposed to be with someone who lives here or one of the guards.  If you’re caught without an escort, depending on who catches you, you may be thrown in jail.  Or worse.”

“I’ll be sure to remember that,” Lexa replied.

“What I wanted to show you is over here,” Clarke said, nodding toward the center of the Ark.  “They haven’t started decorating yet, but this is the town square.  This is the center of the festival and they’ll light it up for tomorrow night.”

“It’s beautiful,” Lexa said.

“It’s my favorite place,” Clarke replied.  “It’s even more beautiful in the spring.”

It wasn’t huge, but it was the only really green part of town, and when she was sitting there she could sometimes even imagine that she wasn’t stuck behind the walls of Arkadia.

“What is that wall for?” Lexa asked.

“It’s a memorial,” Clarke answered, looking at the dark stone monument.  “It’s for all the people who died coming here.”

“There’s a lot of names,” Lexa commented.

“Yeah,” Clarke quietly replied.  “You know, I should probably get these things inside.”

Lexa nodded.  “I’ll help you.”

***

“Clarke?” Abby said, lightly knocking on the door before opening it.  “Are you in here?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” Clarke replied.

“I’m sorry I’m so late,” Abby said, crossing her arms over her chest, and leaning against the edge of the wall.  “There was an accident out on one of the farms.”

“Is everyone okay?” Clarke asked.

Abby sighed and then shook her head.  “He’s alive, but we had to amputate the man’s leg.  We did everything we could to save it, but it just wasn’t possible.  He has a wife and two small children, and he kept saying how he wouldn’t be able to provide for them.” She sighed again.  “And he’s right; I don’t know what they’re going to do.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke replied, knowing her mom was right.  “But at least he’s alive and his kids still have a father.”

“Yeah,” Abby said, pushing off the wall, and walking into the room.  “I trust your day was better.”

“It was fine,” Clarke said, unable to stop the small smile that appeared on her face.  “I did the shopping.  I found everything on your list expect the garlic and rosemary.  They said the crop wasn’t very good this year and they’ve been having trouble keeping it stocked.  She said we can be put on a contact list if we want.”

“That’s okay,” Abby replied.  “I was going to bring a dish to Thelonious’s house next week, but I guess I’ll have to figure something else out.”  Abby sat down on Clarke’s bed and looked across the room.  “I see you bought your canvas.”

Clarke followed her mom’s gaze and nodded.  “Yeah.  Not that it was in any danger of being sold.”

Abby smiled.  “You do seem to be the only one with an artistic side.

“That can afford it, anyway,” Clarke added.

“I know you think some things around here are not fair—”

“Because they’re not,” Clarke interrupted.

“No, they’re not,” Abby agreed.  “But they’re also not going to change and you know that.  So be careful who you say anything to.  You know the rules and you’re not a child anymore.”

“I know,” Clarke replied.

She knew the dangers of saying the wrong thing in front of the wrong person.  As a way of helping maintain the status quo, Arkadia had laws about speaking out about the way things were done and they were strictly enforced.  It didn’t stop people from doing it, but if the wrong person overheard, you would be punished.

“I don’t know about you, but it’s been a long day for me,” Abby said, standing up.  “I think I’m going to heat some water for a bath.  Unless you want me to make something for dinner; I can do that first.”

“It’s fine,” Clarke replied, shaking her head.  “I already had something for dinner.”

“I’ll be down the hall if you need me,” Abby said.

“Do you think dad is okay?” Clarke asked as her mom walked toward the door.

“I know he’ll be fine,” Abby answered, turning around to look at Clarke.  “Thelonious wouldn’t have sent him if he thought it was dangerous.  Your dad will be back before you know it.”

Clarke nodded and then looked toward her window as her door softly clicked closed.  She wished she could believe that the Chancellor wouldn’t put her father in danger considering they were friends, but it was his job to think about everyone, not just the life of one man.  And something told Clarke her mom was only saying what she said for her benefit, not because she actually believed it.

With a deep sigh, Clarke walked over to her easel and moved it across her bedroom until she could look outside the open window.  The sun was down, but the town square was brightly lit up with lanterns and a half a dozen people were decorating for the upcoming festival.  The festival was beginning the next day, and the workers would have to be out there most of the night, but most residents of the Ark didn’t like their day disrupted by having the workers outside while the sun was up.

Clarke ran her hand across the canvas and then glanced out the window again.  As she thought about when she and Lexa were walking through the square that afternoon, she couldn’t help wondering where Lexa was staying while she was in Arkadia since she hadn’t mentioned having any friends or family there.  More importantly, though, she also couldn’t help wondering if Lexa would just disappear once whatever business she had there was complete.  Clarke just hoped that Lexa’s decision to stay for the festival was a sign that she would at least say goodbye before leaving the city.


	3. Revelations

“Clarke, you have a visitor!” Abby called up.

Clarke’s heart thudded in her chest more than she cared to admit at the possibility of Lexa being there as she fastened the last two buttons on her shirt.  She wasn’t really one to get crushes so easily, so it was a little embarrassing how quickly she found herself liking Lexa.  She had only known her for two days and the mere thought that she could be downstairs had her heart pounding in her chest.

“Hey, Clarke.

“Oh, Wells,” Clarke said, the disappointment evident in her voice.

She didn’t know why she ever thought it would be Lexa in the first place; the other girl was there on business and clearly had things she needed to do.  Clarke had already monopolized her previous morning.  Then again, she’d given Lexa plenty of chances to walk away, but the brunette had seemed perfectly fine where she was.

“Expecting someone else?” Wells asked.

“What?” Clarke asked.  “Oh, no.  I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

“Right,” Wells said, not looking convinced.

“What do you mean by that?” Clarke asked.

“He has a girlfriend, Clarke,” Wells stated.  “I know you like Finn, but he’s not going to break up with Raven for you.  You can do better than—”

“I wasn’t hoping it was Finn,” Clarke interrupted.

“Oh,” Wells said.  “You just looked like you were expecting someone else.  And judging by your disappointment when you saw me, I just thought—I’m sorry.”

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked.

Wells shrugged.  “I thought maybe we could hang out before the festival starts.  You know how my house gets on these days.”

Clarke nodded; she’d seen the Jaha residence on days like the current one and it was hectic, to say the least.  The Council was the one responsible for planning events, and as head of the Council, the Chancellor was at the center of everything.  He may have more important things to worry about than the small details of the festival, but Council still kept him informed of everything, and he always made a speech to open the ceremonies.  Plus, the Jaha residence doubled as the Council meeting space, so people were going in and out at all hours of the day.

“Is that new?” Wells asked.

“Yeah,” Clarke answered as she watched Wells walk over to the painting she’d started.  “I just began working on it last night.”

“Last night?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at her.  “What’d you do, stay up all night?”

She smiled but didn’t answer him.  She hadn’t exactly stayed up all night, but she had stayed up until nearly four in the morning.  The painting wasn’t quite complete, but it was close to being done by the time she had finally crawled into bed, falling asleep almost the moment her head hit the pillow.

“The flowers in this—”

“It’s supposed to be springtime,” Clarke explained.

Wells nodded and gave her a smile.  “It looks good.”

“It would have looked better if I hadn’t run out of yellow,” Clarke replied.

“Have you checked the market?” Wells asked.

“I was there yesterday,” Clarke said.  “That’s where I bought the canvas.”

“Oh, well, maybe someone else has some,” Wells suggested.

“You know no one else carries it,” Clarke replied.  “Most people are worried about other things.”

Wells sighed.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Clarke replied.

“No, but it is my father’s,” Wells said.  “You and I both know it.”

Clarke couldn’t argue.  They didn’t talk about it a lot since he was Wells’ father, but she knew they both disagreed with some of his methods.  Like how the lower class were kept that way by giving them no opportunity to ever move up in the world.

Most of the younger people in Arkadia attended school until they were around eighteen, at which point they were put to work, and everyone in Arkadia had to work.  Their options were usually fairly limited, though, and the lower your station, the more limited your options.  If your were born to parents who worked on the farms, that’s what you would do with your life as well.  The people inside the city had a few more options, with people like Clarke and Wells having the most choice.  Which meant nothing ever changed because it was impossible to ever break free from what you were born into.

“He could change the way things are around here, but he won’t,” Wells added.

“You’re not your father,” Clarke replied after a few moments.

“You should hear his speech for tonight,” Wells said.

“More about the future of Arkadia?” Clarke asked.

“What else?” Wells asked back.

“Hey, are you two hungry?” Abby asked, her voice growing louder as she walked down the hallway.

“I could eat,” Wells answered when Clarke looked his way.

“Yeah, we’ll be down in a minute, mom,” Clarke called out.

“You are coming tonight, right?” Wells asked.

Clarke nodded as her thoughts flashed to Lexa.  “Yeah. I’ll be at the festival.”

***

While the festival wouldn’t officially begin for another hour, Clarke could hear the noise outside her window grow steadily louder with each minute that passed by.  Unofficially, the door to the Ark had been open to everyone for the past couple hours, though, and people had been slowly trickling in.  Thankfully, everyone wouldn’t be staying there all night; the festival kicked off in the Ark with the speech from the Chancellor, but people would eventually spread out to the rest of the city, where other things were also going on.

After glancing out the window, Clarke looked into her mirror to put the finishing touches on her makeup.  She was wearing a little more than usual, but it was a special occasion, so she’d spent a little extra time getting ready.  Unfortunately, she knew her friends wouldn’t let it go without comment.  Especially since she’d also decided to wear a skirt for the evening.  Which wasn’t completely unheard of, but it wasn’t exactly a common occurrence either.

“You look nice.”

Clarke jumped slightly, unaware that her mom had been watching her. When her eyes shifted, she saw the reflection of her mom standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and a smile on her face.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Abby said, walking into the room.

“I didn’t hear you there,” Clarke said, turning around on her stool.

“I gathered,” Abby replied before glancing toward the window.  “I’m surprised you’re not outside already.  You and Wells usually spend the whole day out there.”

“I will be soon,” Clarke said.

“Is everything okay with you two?” Abby asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Clarke asked back.

“I don’t know,” Abby replied.  “He didn’t stay very long this morning.  Not like he used to.  I mean, he practically lived here in the past, and I know you both have jobs now, but I was hoping there wasn’t more to it than that.  I would hate to see you two no longer friends.”

“Wells and I are fine, Mom,” Clarke said.  “You’re right; we’re just busy.”

It was true that they weren’t quite as close as they once were, but with Clarke working at the clinic and Wells working with his father, they didn’t get to see each other as often as they did when they were both in school.  Wells was still Clarke’s best friend, though, and nothing was going to change that.  They had grown up together, and while there were other people just as close in age, he was the only other person her age who lived in the Ark, so there had never been that barrier between them like there had been with the others.

“So, is there a reason you’re so dressed up tonight?” Abby asked when Clarke turned around to check her makeup in the mirror.  “A date, perhaps.”

Clarke looked away from the mirror when she saw her cheeks redden.  She knew if her mom was asking if she had a date that her friends would never let her live it down.  She just hoped Octavia was working that night; the other girl obviously saw right through her if the little comments she was already making about Lexa were any indication.  Clarke didn’t know if she was just that obvious or if Octavia was just that good at reading people.

“I should probably get going if I don’t want to be late,” Clarke stated.  “I told Wells I would meet him at five.”

“It’s already after five,” Abby replied.

“Well, then, I should hurry,” Clarke said.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Abby noted.

“No, I don’t have a date,” Clarke replied, walking over to her wardrobe.

“But there is someone you’re hoping to impress,” Abby said, and Clarke looked over at her mom.  “Don’t look so surprised.  I was young once.  I still remember trying to get your father’s attention, but you know how he can be.  It took him a month to even realize I was flirting with him.”

“A month?” Clarke asked.

Abby nodded, a fond smile appearing on her face.  “Your father was just as driven at work back then as he is now.  If it didn’t have to do with his project, he was completely oblivious to it.  One day, though, he finally looked up, and I could see it on his face.”

“What could you see?” Clarke asked.

“That he saw me,” Abby replied before motioning to Clarke.  “So I know this look.  You want someone to see you.”

“I’m really going to be late,” Clarke said, putting on her jacket, and trying to ignore the look her mom was giving her.

Abby smiled.  “I’ll see you out there in a little bit.  I just need to stop by the clinic to check on a patient first.”

“See you in a bit,” Clarke said, walking over, and kissing her mom’s cheek.

“Have fun,” Abby replied.  “But not too much fun.”

***

“There’s Monty and Jasper,” Clarke said, nudging Wells’ arm with her elbow.  “Should we say hi?”

Before Wells could answer her, Monty had already turned his head and spotted them.  He gave them a smile and a wave before saying something to Jasper, who looked around for a moment before spotting them with a smile and wave of his own.  Clarke was about to ask Wells if he wanted to go over when the other two seemed to have the exact same idea and began making their way through the crowd.

“Your dad’s late,” Clarke commented.  “That’s not like him.”

“Maybe something came up,” Wells replied.

“Possible,” Clarke said.

“What’s possible?” Jasper asked as he and Monty approached.

“Just wondering where my dad is,” Wells answered.

“Maybe he’s not coming and we don’t have to listen to his boring speech this year,” Jasper replied.

“Jasper!” Monty said, clearly worried his friend would get in trouble.

Jasper glanced at Wells.  “No offense.”

“They are boring,” Wells agreed with a shrug.

“There he is,” Monty said.  “Should’ve known he wouldn’t be _too_ late.”

“Today marks a special occasion,” Chancellor Jaha said, looking around the crowd with a smile.  “As most of you know, today is the twelfth anniversary of the day we settled here, on the land that would become Arkadia.  Every year we mark this occasion with a festival.  Not only to remember those who we lost along the way, but to celebrate how far we’ve come.  And we’ve certainly come a long way.  Not only in distance, but in what Arkadia has become.

“Some of you were born in Arkadia. Others were there, but are too young to remember the journey here.  But many, I’m sure, remember it quite well.  I won’t lie; we lost a lot along the way, but we also gained a lot.  We had new friends join us as we made the twenty-eight hundred mile journey, and when we finally arrived, we found a place we could finally call home.  It wasn’t easy, but we did it, just like we always have and always will.

Chancellor Jaha was looking around the crowd, briefly stopping when his gaze landed on Clarke and Wells.  “This isn’t just about the past, though; this is also about the future.  Arkadia is a place that has always strived for greatness, and this year is no exception.  In fact, this year, I think you’ll find that Arkadia is going to do wonderful things—things many of you have only dreamed of.  This time next year, Arkadia will be on a whole new level.”

People began to clap, so Clarke followed suit.  She looked around at the crowd, curious if anyone else was wondering what Chancellor Jaha was talking about.  However, no one else looked very interested if their glazed over expressions were anything to go by.

“I know why you’re all here right now, though,” the Chancellor said with a light laugh.  “You want me to stop talking so you can get to the fun stuff.  So, I hereby declare the annual Arkadian Festival open.”

While everyone began clapping—much louder this time—Clarke turned to Wells and asked, “Do you know what your father was talking about?”

“No idea,” Wells replied.

“He really hasn’t said anything?” Clarke asked.

“Not to me,” Wells said.  “But that’s not exactly unusual.”

Several people moved aside as Clarke looked around, and she noticed Raven and Finn standing only a few yards away.

“I thought you were finally getting over that,” Wells remarked.

“I wasn’t—”

“Hey, Clarke, isn’t that your friend?” Monty asked.

“What friend?” Wells asked as he and Clarke both looked over their shoulders, following Monty’s gaze.

Clarke smiled when she saw Lexa, who was standing at the back of the crowd, her hands clasped behind her back and an observant look on her face.  Clarke wondered if Lexa had ever seen so many people before, but guessed the answer was probably no.  Lexa wasn’t the easiest person to read, and she couldn’t tell if Lexa looked nervous or merely curious.

“Who is that?” Wells asked.

“I’ll be right back,” Clarke said, assuming Monty or Jasper would fill Wells in.

“Who is that?” Wells asked again as Clarke began walking toward Lexa.

Behind her, she could hear Jasper give Wells a ‘sorry, buddy’ before she was too far away to hear any more of their conversation.  Before she was out of earshot from her friends, though, Lexa’s eyes were already on her, and she wondered if Lexa had been aware of her presence the whole time.

“Good evening, Clarke,” Lexa said, and Clarke noticed her eyes briefly flicker down, taking in her appearance.

“I wondered if you would change your mind about coming,” Clarke said.

“I told you I would come,” Lexa replied.  “And so I am here.”

“Yes, you are,” Clarke said, giving Lexa a small smile.

***

Since the end of the speech, things had cleared out significantly, and Clarke and her friends had managed to secure one of the tables that had been put out in the Ark’s square thanks to Jasper’s quick movements.  He had actually leapt across a short wall to get to it before anyone else could, and for a moment, Clarke actually thought another group of people were going to fight him for it.  Thankfully for Jasper, the moment they saw Clarke and Wells, they’d backed off without another word.

People were constantly coming and going from the table.  Other people would join them before eventually wandering off to get food or drink, sometimes coming back or sometimes becoming distracted by other things.  Even Bellamy, who was on guard duty that night, had stopped by once to enjoy the festivities.  Octavia had shown up a few minutes later, grumbling about missing everything because she was stuck in the kitchens at the Chancellor’s house, which had caused Wells to shift awkwardly next to Clarke.

Other than a few minor things, though, everyone seemed to be in good spirits.  Everyone was drinking and laughing and dancing under the glow of a hundred lanterns.  Clarke had even noticed a smile on Lexa’s face once or twice, which was something she’d noticed the brunette didn’t do very often.

“This is disgusting,” Raven said as she sat down at the table before taking another drink of whatever was in her mug.

“Then why do you continue to drink?” Lexa asked.

“Because it wasn’t cheap and maybe I’ll get so drunk I’ll forget it tastes like piss,” Raven answered.

“Or you could just ask for some of mine,” Monty said.  “Not only did I make a batch big enough for everyone, but it’s free.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Raven asked, tossing her drink over her shoulder.

“I did, actually,” Monty replied.  “I guess you weren’t at the table at the time.”

“Are your friends usually like this?” Lexa asked.

“Usually,” Clarke replied, smiling.  “Although, I don’t always go out with them.”

“Why don’t you?” Lexa asked.

“Drinking and crowds and,” Clarke motioned around, “all of this just isn’t how I enjoy spending every weekend.”

“How do you enjoy spending your time?” Lexa asked.  “You said before you prefer to stay home?”

“Yeah, I’m a little more boring than these guys,” Clarke replied with a smile.  “I usually stay home and paint or read.  Sometimes Wells and I will spend the evening together, playing chess or a card game.”

“You like the quiet,” Lexa said.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied.  “I guess I do.  What about you?  What do you like to do for fun?”

“There isn’t a lot of time for fun,” Lexa replied.  “My work keeps me too busy for such things.”

“You can’t work all the time,” Clarke said.  “You must have some time off.”

“Occasionally,” Lexa replied.  “I also enjoy reading.”

Clarke was a little surprised; she knew those who grew up on the farms usually didn’t attend school, but someone in Lexa’s life must have taught her how to read.  She didn’t say it, though, not wanting to insult Lexa, so she said, “At least we have one thing in common.”

“It would seem that way,” Lexa replied.

“Clarke, there you are,” Abby said, causing everyone at the table to grow quieter.

“Is everything okay?” Clarke asked, sensing some urgency in her mom’s voice.

“Everything’s fine,” Abby replied.  “A woman on the Grey’s farm went into labor about an hour ago, so I wanted to let you know that I’m probably going to be gone the rest of the night.”

“Oh,” Clarke said, relieved that it wasn’t bad news.

“I need to get going,” Abby said.  “Have fun, you guys.”

Her mom paused for a moment, and Clarke noticed her look at Lexa, seeming to take notice at how closely she was sitting next to her.  And when her mom’s eyes flickered to hers, she knew she was busted.  With a half-smile, Abby turned on her heel, and Clarke knew the next time she saw her mom that they would be having another discussion.

“I guess that means you’ll have the place all to yourself tonight, huh, Clarke,” Raven said, raising her eyebrow, and smirking as Abby walked away.

“Why?” Finn asked, frowning.  “Where’s your dad.”

“He’s away,” Clarke replied.

“Like, he left Arkadia?” Monty asked, sounding concerned.

“For a bit,” Clarke said.

“He’ll be back before you know it, Clarke,” Wells said.  “But, I mean, your mom could still be back tonight.  You don’t know.  It may not take that long.”

Clarke nodded before looking down and saying, “I don’t want to think about my dad tonight.  I want to enjoy myself.” She looked over at Lexa and held out her hand like Lexa had done the night they met.  “Dance with me?”

***

Clarke and Lexa had taken a stroll around Arkadia, one that was mostly in silence.  Lexa seemed to be observing everything around her, and Clarke had a feeling that she was probably fascinated by everything she was seeing.  Clarke tried not to say too much, letting Lexa take everything in while occasionally mentioning things she thought Lexa may find interesting.

By the time they got back to the Ark, some of the exuberance had died down.  Clarke’s friends were still there, but the music had stopped playing, and a few of the other tables were now empty.  She noticed Wells was no longer at the table, though, and she figured he must have gone home already.  Like her, he’d never been much for large gatherings, and she was surprised he had actually stayed around for as long as he had.

Then again, part of her wasn’t surprised.  Not with Lexa and Finn there.

“Do you want to sit with your friends?” Lexa asked.

“Actually, I thought maybe I would go inside,” Clarke replied.

Lexa nodded.  “It is getting late.”

“Would you want to join me?” Clarke asked.

Lexa hesitated for a moment before nodding her head once again.  Clarke didn’t exactly have planned what Raven had insinuated, but she did know she wouldn’t mind to be alone with Lexa for a little bit.  So, Clarke began walking toward her house, unable to stop herself from glancing back at her friends as she passed by.  She’d hoped none of them would notice, but unfortunately Raven and Octavia were both looking her way with matching smirks on their faces, and Clarke rolled her eyes and quickly averted them.

“You said your father is away,” Lexa quietly commented as Clarke opened the door.

“Yeah,” Clarke said, walking in, and stepping to the side to allow Lexa enough space to enter.  “It’s for that project that I told he’s been working on for the past year.  He’s going to meet some people; the Chancellor thought it could help him.”

“You’re worried about him,” Lexa observed, clasping her hands behind her back, and looking around as Clarke led her through the house.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the stories,” Clarke said, looking over her shoulder at Lexa.  “People leaving Arkadia and never coming back.”

“He was alone?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head.  “He had guards with him.”

“Then he will be safe,” Lexa stated.

“Do you live near the wall?” Clarke wondered.  “The outside wall?  Have you seen anything out there?”

“I have,” Lexa replied.  “And I can provide you little comfort.  It is not safe out there.  But that doesn’t mean your father is in any danger from the forest, Clarke.”

Clarke hummed, hoping Lexa was right.  Her greatest fear wasn’t just that her dad would never return, but also that she would never know what happened to him.  Which was a very real possibility, because it would be too dangerous to risk more lives to send out a search party for him.

“This is your room,” Lexa said.

“Oh, yeah,” Clarke replied, so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t even realized where she had led them.

“It’s nice,” Lexa commented.  “Are all these paintings yours?”

Clarke nodded.  “Except the one of the deer.” She smiled to herself at how terrible it was, but she still kept it hanging on the wall.  “Wells did that one.”

Lexa slowly walked around the room, stopping at each painting.  They were all of various spots around Arkadia—the market, the square, the Ark’s entrance, the schoolhouse—because that’s all Clarke had really ever known.  She was barely six when they had come to Arkadia and she only remembered bits and pieces of what it was like.

“Um, that one isn’t finished,” Clarke said when Lexa stopped to look at the canvas that was still sitting on the easel.

“You already have one like this,” Lexa noted.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied, standing next to Lexa.  “But I thought—as a thanks for helping me yesterday—this one could be yours.  I mean, you don’t have to take it, but I thought it could be a sort of memento from your time here.”

“I am leaving tomorrow,” Lexa said.

“Tomorrow?” Clarke asked, turning to Lexa, and feeling her face fall.

“Yes,” Lexa confirmed.  “My business here is nearly finished.”

“Oh,” Clarke replied, looking away.

“You’re disappointed,” Lexa said.

“I just hoped you would stay a few more days,” Clarke said.  “You’ve barely seen the festival.”

“Is that the only reason you wish I would stay?” Lexa asked.

“I—”

Clarke’s eyes darted down to Lexa’s lips, and when she looked back up, Lexa was doing the same.  Considering how hard Lexa was to read, Clarke had been unable to tell if Lexa was interested in her, but in that moment, she knew the attraction was mutual. 

Without another moment’s thought, Clarke leaned in, bringing their lips together like she’d wanted to since the night they’d met.  It had taken all her willpower not to kiss Lexa while they were dancing in the pub on that first night, but if she had known it would feel like this, she probably wouldn’t have stopped herself.

The kiss was slow and neither of them seemed to be in any hurry to rush it.  It was the kiss of two people just getting to know each other, and if this was going to possibly be the only time she got to kiss Lexa, Clarke was determined to remember every moment of it.  Like how warm Lexa’s lips were even though the air outside had grown steadily colder throughout the night while her own lips were freezing.  Lexa seemed completely unaffected by the cold, though, and when Clarke’s hand reached up and her fingers brushed against the other girl’s cheek, it was just as warm.

When their lips finally parted, it was Lexa who pulled away first.  They were still so close together that Clarke could lean forward just a fraction of an inch to kiss Lexa again, but she remained where she was, feeling slightly dazed, her heart beating too rapidly in her chest as she stared into Lexa’s green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa whispered after a few moments, causing Clarke to furrow her brows in confusion.

“What are you sorry for?” Clarke asked, taking a step back.

She saw Lexa’s arm reach for something behind her back, and when Clarke looked down, she saw a dagger in Lexa’s hand.  But before Clarke could react, Lexa had already moved around her, pinning her arms behind her back, and had the dagger to her throat.

“What the hell are you doing?” Clarke asked, her heart now beating wildly in her chest for an entirely different reason.

“I’m sorry, Clarke,” Lexa said again, and Clarke could feel the blade pressing firmly against her throat.  “But with your father gone, I’m left with no choice.”


	4. Walk

“What does my father have to do with this?” Clarke asked, her shock turning to anger at the mention of her dad.

“More than you know, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Despite the blade pressed to her neck, Clarke tried to pull away from Lexa, but her grip was firm, and Clarke found herself unable to move an inch.  She was surprised by the brunette’s strength—she didn’t look like she was particularly muscular—but Clarke was finding herself surprised by a lot of things that night.

With no one else in the house and no way of defending herself, Clarke knew she was helpless.  If Lexa wanted to kill her, there was nothing she could do about it.  Which is why she didn’t know why Lexa wasn’t doing anything.  She had the dagger to her throat, but she wasn’t trying to slit it.  In fact, the blade wasn’t pressing into her throat quite as harshly and Lexa seemed to be putting a little distance between their bodies.

“We are leaving,” Lexa stated.

“So go,” Clarke snapped.

“You’re joining me, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“Like hell I am,” Clarke said.

“If you wish to remain alive, you will come with me,” Lexa said, her voice perfectly calm, which only infuriated Clarke even more.  “I do not wish to hurt you, Clarke.”

“That would be more convincing if you didn’t have a knife to my throat,” Clarke pointed out.

“I do not wish to, but I will not hesitate to if it is necessary,” Lexa said.  “Do as I say and you will not be harmed.”

After a moment, Lexa removed the blade from Clarke’s throat and took a step back, but kept her hand wrapped around the blonde’s wrist.  Clarke roughly pulled her arm away, not wanting the other woman touching any part of her, and then quickly stepped away until her back had collided with her wardrobe and she could go no further.

“We are leaving, Clarke,” Lexa said.

“Why?” Clarke asked.

“We must not waste time,” Lexa replied, ignoring her question.

“You threaten me, and you won’t even tell me why?” Clarke asked.

“Move, Clarke,” Lexa ordered.

Clarke huffed but did as she was told, albeit reluctantly.  All she could hope was that she could somehow draw her friends’ attention to them and signal that something was wrong.  Unfortunately, when she got to the bottom of the steps and turned to walk to the front door, Lexa stopped her with a, “Wait.”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“The other way,” Lexa said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Clarke replied, trying to keep her voice from wavering, but feeling the color drain out of her face.

“I’ve been watching you, Clarke; I know there is another way,” Lexa said.

Every house in the Ark had a back entrance that was only supposed to be used in emergencies or were otherwise bolted shut, but the residents occasionally used them for other reasons and Clarke had done just that the previous week.  She’d been careful to make sure she had gone unseen, but it seemed as if she hadn’t gone as unnoticed as she’d thought.

“So, us meeting was no accident, was it?” Clarke asked as they reached the back door.  “And you being at the market?”  Lexa didn’t answer, so Clarke took her silence as confirmation.  “Has anything in the last few days been real?”

She felt angry and foolish.  Angry that she’d ever let herself fall into Lexa’s trap and foolish for letting herself fall for _Lexa_.  Foolish for kissing Lexa only minutes before.

“Is your name even Lexa?” Clarke found herself asking a few moments later.

“Yes,” she replied. 

Clarke scowled and then turned toward the back door.  She didn’t want to open it, knowing her best chance of being noticed was to go through the Ark, but she didn’t have much choice.  So, with a sigh, she unbolted the door, and stepped into the night air.

“Where are we going?” Clarke asked.

“We’re leaving,” Lexa answered.

“What do you mean ‘we’re leaving’?” Clarke asked, looking back at Lexa.

Several people walked by and Clarke wanted to call out to them, but they were stumbling around, and she knew they would be no good to her in their condition. Lexa had certainly picked a good time to strike; there were enough people around that it was easy enough for them to get lost in the crowd with no one paying attention to them.  And even if someone was looking, they would probably be too inebriated to do anything.

“What is not clear about that?” Lexa asked back.

“Hey, you guys.”

Clarke heart leapt at the sound of Bellamy’s voice.  She hadn’t even noticed him approaching from behind, but when she turned to look at him, she didn’t think she’d ever been so happy to see someone in her life.

“Are you okay?” Bellamy asked, immediately taking in the look on her face.

“Do not do it if you wish him to live,” Lexa whispered from behind her.  “He would be dead before he could move.”

“I’m fine,” Clarke lied after a moment’s pause.  “It seemed like a nice night for a walk.”

Bellamy nodded and glanced around.  “It seems like the celebration’s dying down a bit.”

“I’m sure some people still have a few more hours in them,” Clarke said, trying to give him a smile.

“Yeah,” Bellamy said, smiling back.  “You two have fun.”

“We will,” Clarke replied as Bellamy began walking on.

“You did the right thing, Clarke,” Lexa said.

“Did I?” Clarke asked before angrily walking toward the gates.

***

“Wait,” Lexa said.

Clarke sighed as she came to a stop.  She wasn’t happy about taking orders from Lexa, but considering Lexa was the one with the weapons, she knew she didn’t have much choice.  She crossed her arms over her chest to show her displeasure, but Lexa seemed to take no notice.  Or if she did, she didn’t seem to care.  Then again, if Clarke thought it was hard to read Lexa before, it was almost impossible to read her now.  Her face was completely passive, and she seemed completely unconcerned by the fact that she was kidnapping someone.

“What now?” Clarke asked as Lexa looked around.

“We must wait here,” Lexa said.

They were next to the outer wall of Arkadia, the one just beyond the farmland, and with Lexa so eager to get out of Arkadia, Clarke didn’t know what she could possibly be waiting on.  Clarke kept hoping one of the guards would see them, but she knew the walls out there weren’t patrolled as much as the ones protecting the inner city, if they were even patrolled at all.  So far she hadn’t seen a single guard since they’d run into Bellamy, and she wondered if they were all too busy joining in the festivities to do their actual job.

“Why are we waiting,” Clarke asked, leaning against the stone wall.

“Because we cannot leave until the moon reaches that point,” Lexa said, raising her finger to the sky.

Clarke furrowed her brows in confusion but quickly shook her head.  “Why are you doing this?  Where are you taking me?  What did I ever do to you?”

At first, she didn’t think Lexa was going to respond, but after a few moments of silence, Lexa said, “You have done nothing to me.  This was not part of my plan, but plans change.  Your father was gone and I had to change things.”

“What plan?” Clarke asked.  “And what does my dad have to do with any of this?”

Lexa didn’t answer.  Instead, she turned and began observing the area, her hand at her belt, where her dagger was concealed by her top.  Clarke didn’t know what she was expecting to happen, though; Lexa was the one doing the attacking, not the one being attacked here.

“Lexa,” Clarke said, trying to gain her attention.

“Not now, Clarke,” Lexa quietly replied, holding up a hand that Clarke assumed meant she wished for her to be silent.

“Lexa!” Clarke said, grabbing the other girl’s arm.  “Tell me what you were going to do with my father!”

Before she even knew what was happening, Lexa had her forearm pressed to Clarke’s upper chest and the blonde’s back was slammed against the stone wall, her head hitting painfully against it.  Her eyes closed and instantly began to water upon impact, and she tried to ignore the feeling of nausea and dizziness that hit her.

When Lexa finally released her, Clarke staggered forward but managed to stay on her feet.  She slowly reached up to touch the tender spot on the back of her head, and then pulled her hand in front of her face.  Thankfully, there was no blood on her fingers, but she still felt a little disoriented and didn’t dare move from the spot for fear that her legs would be a little too unsteady at the moment.

“Are you bleeding,” Lexa asked, reaching out for her hand.

“Do you care?” Clarke asked back, pulling her hand away before Lexa could touch it.

“I told you I do not wish to hurt you, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Clarke let out sardonic laugh as she gingerly put her hand to the back of her head.  “Maybe try not slamming me into a wall next time then.”

Lexa didn’t say anything, but her eyes bore into Clarke’s until the blonde looked away.  Clarke breathed a slight sigh of relief when Lexa finally took a few steps away from her, hoping it meant Lexa wasn’t going to attack her again.  She remained on guard, though, trying to stay aware of every move Lexa made even if she had no doubt that she would be dead before she knew what hit her if Lexa wanted it.

“We will set out soon,” Lexa said, breaking the silence after a few minutes.

“I can’t wait,” Clarke sarcastically replied.

***

The deeper Clarke walked into the forest, the more she felt like she was walking to her death.  She was already so far away from Arkadia that she didn’t know if she would be able to make it back on her own, and with every step she took, she knew her chances only decreased.  She had no idea where Lexa was leading her to and she had no desire to find out.  She just wanted to get back to Arkadia and figure out some way to warn her father that he was in danger.  What or who he was in danger from, however, she didn’t actually know.

She hated that Lexa wouldn’t just tell her what the hell was going on.  If she was going to take her hostage, she thought she at least had the right to know why, but Lexa still hadn’t said a word.  Of course, that didn’t keep Clarke from trying to find out.  Since they finally left Arkadia, she’d tried asking three more times, but each time her question had been met with nothing but silence.  She was hoping if she bugged the brunette enough she would eventually tell her, but given Lexa’s reactions so far that night, she would probably just throw her against the nearest tree.

“How much further?” Clarke asked.

Unsurprising, Lexa didn’t answer; instead, she kept her focus on her surroundings, causing Clarke to let out a deep sigh.

“You know, you could answer at least one of my questions,” Clarke said.

“Silence,” Lexa replied.

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, that’s going to work.”

Lexa looked over her shoulder at Clarke, who crossed her arms over her chest.  They locked eyes, but Clarke refused to be the one to look away first, not wanting to appear intimidated even though Lexa could easily run her through with the sword in her hand.

After they’d left Arkadia, Lexa had retrieved the sword from a hollow tree.  For a moment, Clarke thought Lexa was going to kill her right then and there, but then she’d turned and began leading them through the forest.  Lexa seemed to know exactly where she was going while Clarke had been left to stumble after her with only the moonlight to help her see.

“Are we ever going to take a break?” Clarke asked when Lexa finally turned around again.

“Quiet,” Lexa said.

“We’ve been walking forever,” Clarke stated.

“I said quiet,” Lexa said, stopping.

Clarke stopped, looking down when her toe hit something hard.  They were in an area where the trees were thinner, so she could just make out the shape of the large rock under the moon’s light.  A moment later, her attention was drawn away by the sound of leaves rustling, and she wondered if that’s what Lexa had been listening for.

Lexa took a step forward, her sword at the ready, and Clarke hung back.  She didn’t exactly have anything to protect herself if they were attacked, and there was no telling what was in the forest.  She’d been warned like everyone else and had heard the rumors, but she’d always wondered if there was more out there than she was being told.

“What is it?” Clarke whispered.

Lexa remained silent, but a few seconds later, a small animal darted across the forest floor.  Clarke began to relax, but Lexa remained on guard, taking a cautious step forward.  Clarke followed her, her foot knocking into the rock again, and then froze.  She glanced down and then back up at Lexa, figuring there was a chance she was going to get herself killed, but she had to try to do something.  She was already so far away from Arkadia and she couldn’t wait any longer to make a move. 

Clarke quickly reached down and picked up the rock as quietly as she could, keeping her eyes on Lexa’s back.  Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that she had to tell herself there was no way Lexa could possibly hear it.  Just as she began raising the rock to hit Lexa, though, the brunette turned and swept her legs out from underneath her in one fluid motion, and Clarke’s back hit the ground, knocking the wind out of her.

“That was a mistake, Clarke,” Lexa said, and Clarke groaned in pain.  “I told you you would not be harmed if you cooperate.”

Clarke felt something trickling down the side of her face and reached up, pulling her hand back to find blood on her hand.  She didn’t even know what her head had hit in the fall, but when she looked to the side, the rock was lying next to her head, and she closed her eyes, groaning again to herself.

“Sit up,” Lexa commanded.

Clarke opened her eyes only to narrow them at Lexa, but she did as she was told, propping herself up on her elbows.

“You should—”

“Don’t touch me,” Clarke said through gritted teeth, moving her face away when Lexa reached out to touch her.

“Very well,” Lexa said, standing up.

Clarke looked up at Lexa as she began walking, wondering where she was going, but she didn’t walk very far.  She stopped at one of the biggest trees Clarke had ever seen, its trunk covered in moss, and pulled something from underneath one of its large roots.

“Dress,” Lexa said, turning to Clarke, and throwing a sack at her feet.  “Now.”

“Why?” Clarke asked.

“Because it will be more difficult with your hands tied,” Lexa replied.

***

“How long are we going to be walking?” Clarke asked.

It was the first thing either of them had said in hours, but with the sky beginning to lighten, she knew they had been walking for at least seven or eight hours and she needed a break.  Her feet were hurting, she had a headache from being slammed against the wall and the ground, and her whole body was sore from Lexa knocking her onto her back.  Still, she knew her feet weren’t hurting nearly as badly as they would have been if she was still wearing the shoes she’d left Arkadia in.

She wasn’t sure why Lexa had made her change into the strange clothing, but it was certainly warmer than the skirt she had been in, so she hadn’t complained too much.  Some since she didn’t want Lexa to think she was happy about it, but not too much.

While the clothes were strange, they weren’t altogether uncomfortable.  They weren’t anything like her clothes in Arkadia; there were lots of straps and buckles, and the chest piece was made out leather.  The pants were tight but stretchy, and had several rips in them that were mostly covered by a sheath that Clarke figured would usually hold a dagger.  Thankfully, Lexa had also given her a long coat that was made out of some type of animal skin that Clarke didn’t recognize.

Lexa had also changed into similar clothing before strapping several pieces of what looked like armor on as well.  Clarke had wanted to ask about it, but she’d stay silent, choosing to not give Lexa the satisfaction of ignoring yet another question.

“Lexa,” Clarke said, pulling on the rope that Lexa had used to bind her hands and was now leading Clarke by.

Lexa came to a stop in front of her and Clarke did the same, bracing herself.  Considering that she was attached to Lexa, she couldn’t even back away from her, but then she noticed Lexa’s shoulders relax ever so slightly.

“We have a long way to go,” Lexa replied.  “But there is a stream nearby soon that we may rest at.”

Lexa began walking again and Clarke quickly followed before she got pulled along anyway.  True to Lexa’s word, after only a few more minutes, Clarke began to hear the sound of running water coming from somewhere in front of them, and Clarke couldn’t help wondering how many times Lexa had been through the forest to know exactly where they were after walking through the dark for nearly eight hours.

“How are we going to cross that?” Clarke asked when she finally saw the stream.

“We will walk across,” Lexa said like it was obvious.

Clarke didn’t even want to think about how cold the water probably was or the fact that she couldn’t swim.  And while she knew it probably wasn’t deep enough for her drown in, she still wasn’t thrilled with the idea.

“Is there any chance you’ll untie me?” Clarke asked, lifting her hands.

“No,” Lexa replied.

Clarke sighed and sat down on one of the large rocks near the stream.  She wondered if Lexa would pull her to her feet again, but Lexa looked at Clarke for a moment and then dropped the rope before turning and walking over to the stream.  Clarke figured Lexa trusted her not to run at this point; she was so far away from Arkadia that she would just end up dead in the woods anyway.  She wasn’t naive enough to believe she would be able to make it back on her own.  She was going to have to go wherever Lexa was taking her and hope she was telling the truth when she said she wouldn’t harm her.

“Drink,” Lexa said, startling Clarke.

She looked up at Lexa and then down at the water canteen before mumbling a, “Thanks.”

It felt stupid to be thanking Lexa for anything.  If it wasn’t for her, she would be safe and sound in her bed, not walking through the forest all night, aching and bruised, in who knows what kind of danger.

“Can I ask you something?” Clarke asked after a few moments.

“You have never sought permission before,” Lexa stated.

“Where are we going?” Clarke asked, ignoring Lexa’s comment.

“You will see soon enough,” Lexa answered.

“I’d like to know now,” Clarke replied.

“It will not change anything, Clarke,” Lexa said.

Clarke sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to get a real answer out of Lexa.  “Why won’t you just tell me?”

“Because it would not make a difference,” Lexa replied.

“Well, maybe I would like to know where I’m being taken,” Clarke said.

“As I said—”

“I’ll find out soon enough,” Clarke interrupted with a roll of her eyes.  “Yes, that’s very helpful.”

“Rest, Clarke,” Lexa said.  “You have a long day ahead of you.”

***

“We’ll rest here for the night,” Lexa said.

Clarke groaned in relief.  They had been walking most of the night and the day, and she felt like she was going to fall over from exhaustion.  Lexa wasn’t big on taking breaks, and as someone who grew up in Arkadia for nearly her whole time, walking long distances was the last thing Clarke was used to.  Truthfully, though, Clarke was surprised Lexa was stopping when she was; the sun was just beginning to set, but they probably still had another hour of daylight left.

“Will you at least tell me how much longer we’ll be walking?” Clarke asked.

“We’ll be there tomorrow,” Lexa answered.

“And where is ‘there’?” Clarke asked.

Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa as she walked over, wondering if she was going to answer, but Lexa didn’t say anything as she began checking the ropes around her wrists.  A few moments later, Lexa began undoing the knots and Clarke looked at her in surprise, figuring she would keep her bound the rest of the way.

“Thank you,” Clarke said.

“Don’t thank me,” Lexa replied.  “They are loose.”

For a moment, Clarke didn’t know what Lexa meant, but then she began binding her hands again and Clarke sighed.  “You know, I’m not going anywhere.  You can untie me; I know I’d never make it home.  We’ve been walking for almost a day and I would die out here before I found my way back.”

“You would,” Lexa agreed.

“So—” Clarke said, lifting her hands up.

Lexa looked at her for a second and then turned, tying the other end of the rope to a nearby tree.  Figuring there was no use in arguing, Clarke sat down, resting her back against the tree as she looked around. 

They had stopped in an area where the trees were more sparse, but the ones that were there were enormous.  The tops of the trees were blocking out most of the sky; the tree Clarke had her back against was one of the only few around that didn’t reach the canopy.  Clarke wondered if they would be safe out in the open like they were, and Clarke could see Lexa’s eyes were alert, but that was nothing new, so she was trying not to be too concerned.

“If you untie me, I could help you with that,” Clarke said when Lexa began gathering up pieces of wood from the ground.

“I’m more than capable, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Clarke sighed.  “Never mind.”

Lexa glanced at her and Clarke almost thought she saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes, but the next moment her face was completely unreadable again and she figured it had just been her imagination.

“Can I ask you something?” Clarke asked.

“Why do you suddenly seek permission?” Lexa asked back.

“Because I’m hoping you’ll be more likely to answer,” Clarke replied.

“What is it, Clarke?” Lexa said.

“How long were you watching me?” Clarke wondered.  “In Arkadia.  How long were you following me?”

Lexa didn’t say anything for a minute or two and Clarke didn’t think she was going to answer, but then she said, “Since I arrived.”

“And when was that?” Clarke asked.

“Last week,” Lexa replied.  “But I was not there for you.  I was there for your father, but I could not track him during the day without being noticed.”

“So, what, you would watch me?” Clarke asked, and Lexa gave a slight nod.  “Why?”

“This is not the time or the place, Clarke,” Lexa said.

“Because the trees are going to overhear?” Clarke joked.

“It’ll be dark soon,” Lexa commented.  “Do you know how to start a fire?”

“If I have a match,” Clarke replied.  “But I’m going to assume that’s not the answer you’re looking for.” She smiled.  “Technically I learned how to start a fire with two sticks, but I was never very good at it.”

“Who taught you?” Lexa asked.

“We learned basic survival skills in school, but it was a few years ago,” Clarke replied.

Lexa nodded.  “It’s too bad you weren’t better.  Maybe I would have untied you while I hunted for food.”

Lexa glanced over at her and Clarke frowned, her stomach rumbling at the mention of food.  She hadn’t eaten all day with the exception of a handful of berries she’d picked from a bush that Lexa had said was safe.

“I could always try,” Clarke offered.

“I would prefer to eat tonight,” Lexa said, raising her eyebrow.

Clarke rolled her eyes before giving a sarcastic, “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always like to know what people think, so comments are always appreciated.


	5. Fight

When Clarke began to stir the next morning, she let out a groan.  Every part of her body hurt from her head down to her toes.  Between walking for nearly a whole day, having Lexa throw her around, and then sleeping against a tree all night, Clarke felt like she had been trampled by a herd of animals.

Clarke slowly opened her eyes, trying not to make any sudden movements that would cause any more pain.  She slowly began stretching different parts of her body, hoping to relieve some of the pain and stiffness, but as she stretched her neck from side to side, she froze.

Lexa had slept on the other side of the fire, but the spot was now empty.  Clarke wondered for a moment if Lexa had gone to get some more wood for the fire, but as she glanced around, she noticed there was still plenty nearby.  She thought about calling Lexa’s name, but considering she didn’t know what else might hear her, she decided against it.  She did pull against the rope, though, trying to look on the other side of the tree, and when she did, she realized the knots around her wrists had begun to loosen overnight.

Without even stopping to think about it, Clarke began working at the knots, trying to free her hands.  She knew there was nowhere for her to go—she would never make it back to Arkadia without Lexa’s help—but she hated being tied up.  She already figured Lexa could kill her before she even blinked; being tied up just made her feel that much more vulnerable.  Unfortunately, even though the knots were looser, Lexa had still tied them really well and were proving difficult.

“I wouldn’t do that.”

Clarke jumped at the sound of Lexa’s voice, hissing in pain when the back of her head hit the tree behind her.  Judging by how uncomfortable it had been to sleep directly on it, she knew she must have a decent sized lump from her head being slammed against the stone wall.  Between that and the gash that extended from her right temple to the side of her forehead, not to mention the fact that she was sitting upright, against a tree, it hadn’t been easy to get comfortable.

“I needed to use the bathroom and you weren’t here,” Clarke said, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her head.

Lexa looked at her as if she was trying to gauge whether or not she was telling the truth, and Clarke refused to look away.  It actually wasn’t a complete lie, though; she did need to use the bathroom.

“Can you untie me?” Clarke asked.  “I won’t go anywhere.”

“I will find you if you do,” Lexa said.

Clarke nodded before raising her hands.  Lexa watched her for a few more seconds before finally reaching out and undoing the knots.  Clarke was relieved, not really wanting to have Lexa along as she peed, and she tried to be patient as the brunette freed her.

“Where did you go?” Clarke asked, causing Lexa to glance up.  “When I woke up, you were gone.”

“I thought you would be hungry when you woke,” Lexa replied.  “I knew of a stream close by.” She nodded to the side and Clarke saw the previously unnoticed fish hanging from a tree branch.  “They’re small, but they will do.”

Clarke was surprised at Lexa’s thoughtfulness when she had kidnapped her less than thirty-six hours ago.  Then again, Clarke still didn’t know what Lexa wanted with her, so maybe there was a reason for it.  After all, Lexa was obviously cunning and would do anything to get what she wanted.  This was probably just a way to make her more cooperative.  Or maybe she just wanted to make sure she had enough energy to get where they were going.  Wherever that may be.

As soon as Lexa released her, Clarke hurried off in case Lexa changed her mind about letting her go, but she stayed close enough to camp in case anything tried to attack her.  She didn’t see anything on her way there or on her way back—-actually, she hadn’t seen much of anything, which seemed strange to her.  She always imagined the woods to be teeming with wildlife, but so far she’d only seen a few animals here and there.

“Why are there almost no animals around?” Clarke asked when she walked back to camp.

“Who says there are no animals?” Lexa asked back.

“I haven’t seen any,” Clarke replied.

“Just because you do not see them, it does not mean they are not there,” Lexa stated.

“That’s comforting,” Clarke mumbled.

“Now that you are back, I will give you a choice, Clarke,” Lexa said, drawing Clarke’s eyes to her.  “Gather some more wood and I will leave you unbound until we leave or—”

“I’m on it,” Clarke said, not bothering to let Lexa finish the rest of her sentence.

***

Clarke was back to being tied up and pulled along by Lexa, which she really didn’t think was necessary and had been vocal about.  She eventually shut up, though, for fear of Lexa gagging her.  At least she shut up about having her hands tied; it was boring walking through the woods for hours upon end, and Lexa may be terrible company, but talking to her was better than walking in complete silence.  Even if she felt like she was talking to herself most of the time.

“You know, I always wondered what was beyond Arkadia,” Clarke remarked.  “I mean, I’ve been west since that’s where we traveled from, but it’s been a long time and I barely remember it.” She paused for a moment, glancing at Lexa.  “We’re going south, right?  I may not have learned how to start a fire in my survival skills lessons, but I do remember how to tell direction.” Clarke smiled for a moment and then froze.  “Did you hear that?”

“I can hear nothing over you, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Lexa pulled on the rope, trying to get her to move, but Clarke held her ground.  She knew it hadn’t been her imagination, and as she looked around, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as if they were being watched.  She’d heard a low growl and she knew it must have come from something large.

“If you’re trying to distract me—”

“Why would I want to distract you?” Clarke interrupted in a whisper.

Lexa seemed to realize Clarke was right because her shoulders went rigid and her ears seemed to perk up as if she, too, was listening more closely to the sounds of the forest.  Lexa’s sword was at the ready, and Clarke wished more than ever that the other girl had left her unbound.  With her hands tied together and no possible way of defending herself, she knew she wouldn’t stand a chance if anything happened to Lexa.

The second time Clarke heard the growl, she had no doubt Lexa heard it as well.  They both turned quickly toward the source of the noise, but it wasn’t fast enough as a large, golden-colored cat leaped toward them.

Lexa reacted quicker than Clarke did, pushing her to the side before she could even comprehend what was happening.  Clarke landed on her shoulder and looked over just in time to watch the mountain lion catch Lexa’s arm as she tried to get out of the way of the large cat.  As the cat landed, she lost of sight of Lexa, but she heard her cry out in pain, and she knew Lexa was hurt.  Then she noticed the sword on the ground and she realized Lexa must have lost it when she mountain lion sunk its claws into her arm.

“Lexa!” Clarke said, scrambling to her feet.

The cat was too close to the sword for Clarke to pick it up as it slunk toward Lexa like it had found its next meal.  Lexa was on the ground, trying to back away, but her right arm was visibly bleeding and she was struggling to move fast enough.  As Clarke stood there, she knew she only had a moment to decide what to do.  She wasn’t exactly a fighter—she’d never used a sword in her life—but it was either pick it up and fight or distract it and hope Lexa had the energy to do it.

“Clarke, run,” Lexa said.

Clarke was snapped out of her thoughts, but rather than doing as Lexa said, she lunged forward, picking the sword up from the ground.  The sword was heavier than Clarke thought it would be, but she held it in front of her, ready to strike.  The movement seemed to gain the mountain lion’s attention, because it suddenly turned around on her, abandoning its pursuit of Lexa.

Clarke had no idea what she was doing, but as the mountain lion crouched, she knew it was about pounce.  Even if it killed her, she was determined to take the cat down with her, and when the cat lunged, she acted on instinct.  She drove the tip of the sword into the cat’s neck, and Clarke was knocked onto her back with the mountain lion half on top of her.

As Clarke laid there on the forest floor, staring up at the sky, she wondered if she was injured and just too shocked to register it.  She was keenly aware of the weight of the mountain lion across her legs and the sword still in her hand, but the rest of her body felt like it had gone numb.

“Clarke?” Lexa said, her head appearing in Clarke’s line of vision.

“You’re bleeding,” Clarke replied, as she sat up, her eyes immediately landing on Lexa’s arm, where her sleeve was ripped and blood was running from her bicep down to her hand.

“We should keep moving,” Lexa said, looking down at the giant cat as Clarke pushed it off of her.

“Are we still in danger here?” Clarke asked.

“There’s danger everywhere,” Lexa answered.

***

“That could get infected, you know,” Clarke said, eyeing Lexa’s arm.

“You’ve already told me,” Lexa replied.

“Then maybe we should stop,” Clarke said.

Lexa gave a slight shake of her head. “We should continue.”

Clarke sighed.  She didn’t know why Lexa wouldn’t just stop and let her take care of her arm.  It wasn’t bleeding as badly as it had been, and it was possible it had even stopped altogether, but there was still so much blood that it was really hard to tell.  Either way, it really needed to be cleaned and bandaged, and if it was still bleeding, that needed to be stopped before Lexa passed out from the blood loss.

“It’ll only take a few minutes,” Clarke tried again.

“The sun will be down in a few hours,” Lexa stated.  “If we wish to make it before the sun sets then we must continue.”

“I don’t think stopping for a few minutes will matter,” Clarke argued.

“I will be fine, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“You don’t know that,” Clarke said.  “A scratch from a wild animal can be very dangerous.  I’ve seen it before.”  She paused, noticing the look on Lexa’s face.  “What? What is it?  Do you feel like you’re going to faint? You have lost a lot of blood.”

“Do you hear that?” Lexa asked.

Clarke frowned.  “Hear what?”

“The woods are silent,” Lexa replied.

“What?” Clarke asked.

“Run or we will both be dead, Clarke,” Lexa said, pushing Clarke forward.  “Move!”

Clarke did as Lexa commanded, and a few moments later she heard the rapid sound of gunfire.  It wasn’t a sound she’d heard a lot, but it was one she would never forget.  The last time she’d heard it had been one of the most terrifying moments of her life as she’d stood there watching helplessly after her mother had been taken hostage by a patient.  There was a split second where she didn’t know if the shot had come from the man holding her mom or one of the guards, and she was sure that sound would be forever seared into her mind.  This time, she also had no idea where it was coming from, but she was going to stop to find out.

“This way,” Lexa yelled, turning right to run into a denser part of the forest.

Clarke tried to keep up with Lexa, but it was hard since the brunette was much more adept at running through the forest.  Clarke, on the other hand, had to do everything she could not to trip over the uneven surface, but she still stumbled over the occasional root or rock.

“Shit,” Clarke said when she was yanked back, her coat getting caught on a tree branch.

As she pulled her coat free, several bullets entered the tree just above her head.  Clarke ducked and took off running again, but she could no longer see where Lexa had gone.  She continued running in the same general direction, though, and a few seconds later, Clarke heard more gunfire.  This time, it sounded a little further away, and she veered slightly to the right, figured that whatever was shooting at them had probably found Lexa.

When Clarke pushed through several tree branches, she skidded to a stop.  She could see Lexa running about twenty yards away from her, and she could also finally see what was firing upon them, but it was unlike anything she’d ever seen before.  It was circular and flying in the air, a gun mounted on the bottom.

Across the forest, she realized Lexa had disappeared, so Clarke quickly hid behind a tree, hoping to remain unseen.  Whatever the thing was, it was quiet, and she could barely hear it even as it passed by the tree she was hidden behind.  Crouching low, she glanced around the tree, catching the flying machine just as it went out of sight, and then Clarke quickly made her way toward where she had last seen Lexa, careful to keep a watchful eye over her shoulder in case it flew back around.

Clarke wanted to call out, but she didn’t know if that thing could hear, so she looked around, trying to figure out where Lexa could have possibly hidden.  After a few moments, though, she noticed what looked like a wall hidden behind trees and covered in vines.

“Lexa,” she whispered as she walked forward, not wanting to be attacked.

“Clarke,” she heard Lexa say from inside.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief as she pushed the vines aside and climbed through what she assumed was once a window.  Whatever the room had once been, most of it was crumbling now—only two of its walls and part of the ceiling remained intact—and Lexa stood amongst the ruins, her sword in her hand, ready to fight.

“It’s gone,” Clarke said, looking down, and noticing Lexa’s other arm was now bleeding as well.  “For now.  I think it’s looking for me.”

Lexa nodded.  “This way.”

***

“Lexa, you’re still bleeding,” Clarke said, stopping, and looking at the other girl.

“We will be there soon,” Lexa stated.

“Not if you pass out,” Clarke argued.  “You won’t exactly tell me where we’re going, and even if you would, I wouldn’t be able to carry you the rest of the way.”

They had been walking for at least thirty minutes and she was fairly confident that they’d put enough distance between themselves and whatever that thing was.  She could see Lexa was growing paler, and whether Lexa wanted to admit it or not, they really needed to stop the bleeding.  Not only had the mountain lion wounded her, but one of the bullets had grazed her right forearm.  And judging by the way she was limping slightly, Clarke wondered if her leg was also bleeding.

“We cannot stop,” Lexa said.

“Five minutes,” Clarke replied.

“Clarke—”

“Unless you want to drag me there, you’re going to stop,” Clarke said, taking a step toward Lexa.  “Now sit.”

Lexa looked like she wanted to protest, but after a few moments, she looked down at the large stump she was standing next to and sat down.  Clarke couldn’t help but smile, happy to finally be getting her way about something, as she said, “It’s too bad you left my clothes behind; I could have used them.”

“They would have slowed us down,” Lexa replied.

Clarke shook her head and then looked down for a moment before pulling off her coat and top to get to the thin shirt she was wearing underneath.  As she grabbed the hem of it, Lexa averted her eyes, and she pulled it off before quickly putting the rest of her clothes back on.

“Do you have the canteen?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shook her head.  “I lost it.”

“Is there are stream or river nearby?” Clarke asked.

“No,” Lexa replied.

Clarke sighed.  “Well, I would like to clean this, but I guess I’ll just have to settle for stopping the bleeding for now.” Clarke held out her hand.  “Can I see your knife?”

Lexa hesitated a moment, but then reached for her dagger and held it out to Clarke.  Even as Clarke took the weapon from her, she could tell Lexa was having second thoughts.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to use it to kidnap you,” Clarke said, glancing at Lexa as she began using the dagger to cut the shirt into strips.  “How’s your leg?  I noticed you were limping.”

“It’s fine,” Lexa replied.

“You said that about your arm and it’s obviously not fine,” Clarke stated.  “How is it really?  The truth.”

“I’ve had worse,” Lexa answered.

“Somehow I believe that,” Clarke remarked as she reached out and ripped off what was left of Lexa’s sleeve.

The gash from the mountain lion’s claws was deep and ran all along her bicep.  Thankfully, the worst of it had stopped bleeding, but Clarke still wrapped it up tightly, hoping to stop the flow of blood completely.  She knew there was a good chance it was going to get infected, but there really wasn’t a lot she could do about that now.

“Did you learn that from your mother?” Lexa asked.

“I think you already know the answer to that,” Clarke replied.  “You’re the one who’s been watching me, so you know I work at the clinic with her.”

Lexa nodded.  “You never appeared to like it very much.”

“That’s because I never really had a choice,” Clarke replied.  “The only thing I’ve ever loved to do is paint, but I can’t do that for the rest of my life.  Most people in Arkadia stick to whatever their parents do, so that left me with engineering or medicine, and I’ve always been better at medicine.” She glanced at Lexa as she ripped off another strip of cloth.  “I haven’t been working there long.  I was going to school until a few months ago. We have to choose our apprenticeship by the time we turn eighteen or one will be assigned to us.  Most people do it sooner, though.  They can’t afford not to.”

“But you could,” Lexa said.

“Yes,” Clarke confirmed.  “I was lucky.” She held out her hand.  “I need your arm.”

Lexa extended her arm and Clarke carefully turned it.  She grabbed the piece of sleeve she’d ripped from Lexa’s shirt to wipe away some of the excess blood, but it didn’t look as bad as she was expecting.  It really had just grazed her arm, so Clarke tightly wrapped it up, hoping the pressure would stop the bleeding.

“Your leg—”

“Is fine,” Lexa said, standing.

“Lexa—”

“I wish to get there before dark, Clarke,” Lexa interrupted.

Clarke sighed, throwing the rest of the shirt at Lexa.  “At least wrap that around your leg if you won’t let me.”

Clarke crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to smile when the piece of cloth hit Lexa in the face.  Lexa was hurt, after all, but she was finding it hard to have much sympathy when she was only there because Lexa had kidnapped her.

***

Clarke could see it long before they arrived.  The tower was huge and unlike anything she had seen in her life.  She didn’t even have to ask if that’s where they were headed; she knew it the moment her eyes landed on the massive building.

The closest she had seen to something like it was when she was little and the group was walking across the land to find what would become Arkadia.  Except the buildings they’d passed by had all fallen.  She remembered them laying across the ground, seeming to go on forever, some broken into pieces while others remained mostly intact.  She had wondered what they must have looked like when they were still standing, but now she no longer had to wonder.

When they approached the gates, the sun was nearly down, but she could still see the flurry of movement as the two guards rushed to pull the gates open.  As they passed by the guards, Clarke furrowed her brows as they both bowed, and they only straightened back up when Lexa inclined her head in acknowledgment of them.

“Is this where you live?” Clarke asked just as a horn blew behind them.

Lexa gave a barely-there nod as she began to lead them through the streets of the city.  Unlike Arkadia, this was clearly a city that had existed for hundreds of years, and even though half of the buildings were crumbling, Clarke could tell it was once a beautiful place.  What struck her most, however, was the number of people there.

Clarke knew there were other settlements—Arkadia even traded with a few of them—but she’d always been under the impression that they were small.  Much smaller than Arkadia.  This place, though—Clarke had never seen so many people.  They were in the streets and standing in their doorways and even looking out windows.

“What is this place?” Clarke asked, prying her eyes away from everything to look at Lexa.

“This is Polis,” Lexa replied.

Clarke saw more and more people bowing as they walked by on their way to the tower, and Clarke noticed Lexa acknowledge them all with a slight nod of her head.  Many of them were also addressing her in a language Clarke couldn’t understand, but Lexa would simply hold up her hand to silence them, leaving Clarke to wonder what the hell was going on and why she was there.

“Are you ever going to tell me why you kidnapped me and brought me here?” Clarke asked as they entered the tower.

Lexa didn’t answer, but Clarke didn’t really expect her to.  She didn’t really like to answer questions when they were alone, and now that they were here, she seemed to be talking even less.

“Please tell me we’re not walking to the top,” Clarke said when Lexa stopped in front of some doors.

“Op,” Lexa said to the guards before glancing at her.  “No.”

The guards moved quickly to pull open the doors and then one of them shouted down in the language Clarke didn’t understand.  When he backed away, he bowed to Lexa and motioned toward the now open door, which led to a small box.  Clarke looked at it skeptically, but Lexa stepped on without hesitation even though Clarke could see it visibly sway the moment she entered.

“Clarke,” Lexa said.

Clarke sighed, knowing she didn’t have a choice.  As soon as she stepped into the box, the guard shouted again and the box began to ascend upward, surprising Clarke, who grabbed onto the rail for support.

“This is an elevator,” Clarke said when she realized what she was standing in.  “I’ve read about them.”

Lexa nodded and the two went the rest of the way up in silence, which felt like forever.  And the longer she stood there, the more nervous she became as she wondered what purpose Lexa had for her.

Lexa barely waited for the doors to be open before she was already walking out of the elevator and down the hallway.  Clarke followed a few steps behind her, until Lexa walked through the double doors at the end of the long hall.  Clarke stopped upon entering the room while Lexa continued walking toward a throne on the far side of the large room.

“Light the flame,” a severe looking woman ordered the moment Lexa walked into the room.  “Let everyone know the commander has returned.”

“Commander?” Clarke said, looking at Lexa, thinking she looked a little young to be the commander of anyone.

“Take Clarke to her room,” Lexa said, addressing the two guards nearest to Clarke.

“No,” Clarke said, pulling away from them as soon as they touched her.  “I’ve come all this way; I want to know why I’m here.”

“Teik em we,” Lexa said, and the two guards grabbed Clarke despite her protests.

“No. Lexa!” Clarke called out as the guards began pulling her out of the room.  “Lexa!  Why am I here?!  Just tell me why I’m here!”


	6. Answers

Clarke could hear voices on the other side of the door as she paced in the center of the room, but she no longer bothered pounding on the door in hopes that someone would let her out.  She'd tried it half the night with no success, and she had no doubt Lexa had instructed everyone to keep her locked up much to Clarke's frustration.  All Clarke wanted was some answers, but Lexa seemed determined to keep her in the dark.

Clarke stopped in her tracks and quickly turned toward the door when she heard the knob turning.  She figured it would probably just be one of the guards like earlier that morning, so she was surprised to see Lexa standing there, her hand on the hilt of her sword and her injured arm now in a sling.  What surprised Clarke even more, though, was the fact that half of her face was covered in what looked like black makeup.

“What the hell is that?” Clarke asked, motioning to Lexa's face.

Before Clarke knew what was happening, one of the guards had drawn his sword and was advancing on her, but Lexa held up her hand and he froze, though he didn't look very happy about it.

“Leave us,” Lexa commanded with a wave of her hand.

“Heda—”

“I said leave us,” Lexa repeated, her voice rising.

The guards left without hesitation, one of them closing the door behind them, and Lexa visibly relaxed the moment they were alone, her hand falling away from her sword.  Clarke wondered what Lexa did to guards who disobeyed her, but judging by how fast they scrambled away, Clarke figured she already had her answer.  Then again, Clarke hadn't exactly been the most obedient and Lexa hadn't done anything about it.

“Why am I here?” Clarke asked.

“I'm not here to answer questions, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Clarke sighed.  “Then why are you here?”

“I was told you did not eat this morning,” Lexa said.

“I guess I lose my appetite when I'm being held captive,” Clarke remarked.

“They also told me you did not sleep,” Lexa stated.

Clarke crossed her arms over her chest.  “I guess I find it hard to sleep, too.”

She was in no mood for Lexa to tell her that she needed to eat and sleep, and she didn't know why the other girl was even there.  It wasn't like she could force her to do either of those things.  And it wasn't like Clarke hadn't tried to sleep, but it wasn't easy when she was jumping at every little noise, wondering if someone was going to come in and grab her at any moment.  Lexa may have said she wasn't going to hurt her, but she didn't know if the same could be said for the rest of the people in Polis.  And considering some of the looks she'd received, it was obvious she wasn't very welcome there.

“Someone will bring you more food soon,” Lexa said.

“I don't want food,” Clarke replied.

“I will also have someone draw you a bath,” Lexa said.

“I don't want a bath,” Clarke replied.  “I want answers.”

“And you will get them,” Lexa said.  “But for now, you must stay here.  I will have someone get you when it's time.”

“Wait,” Clarke called out, taking a step forward.  “What do you mean 'when it's time'?”

“A meeting was set for the evening after my arrival,” Lexa replied.  “It is happening tonight.  When the rest of the members arrive, I will have someone get you.  Until then, you must remain in this room.”

“Am I safe here?” Clarke asked.

Lexa asked.  “No one will harm you here.  They have their orders.  The guard outside will be dealt with.”

Clarke glanced toward the door, wondering what Lexa's way of dealing people was.  “This meeting—”

“I have matters I need to take care of, Clarke,” Lexa interrupted.  “I've been away from Polis for a few weeks and there are things I must attend to before tonight.”

“Are you really in charge of this place?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” Lexa replied.

“Just you?” Clarke asked.

“Do you find that so hard to believe?” Lexa asked back.

“If I say yes are you going hold another dagger to my throat?” Clarke replied.

For a moment she thought she saw a slight smile on Lexa's face but then it was gone, replaced by her usual stoic expression.  “I am the leader of my people until my death.”

“Oh,” Clarke replied, resisting the urge to ask just how old Lexa was.

“I will have someone send food and prepare a bath for you,” Lexa said before turning and heading toward the doors.  “I also suggest you get some rest before tonight.”

Clarke sighed as Lexa opened the doors to the room and shut them behind her, locking her inside once again.  Even though she was hungry and exhausted, it was hard to eat and sleep when she felt like a caged animal.  She wanted to believe Lexa when she said she was safe there, but it was difficult to trust someone who'd taken her out of her home at knifepoint.

***

Clarke stood by the window and watched as the sun slowly lowered toward the horizon, glancing over her shoulder every few minutes.  She had been waiting for hours, listening for any little sound that meant someone was coming for her, and she felt like she was beginning to go crazy being trapped inside the room.

Part of her wondered if there even was a meeting or if Lexa had just told her that to get her to stop asking questions.  So far Lexa had done what she said she was going to, though.  About thirty minutes after she’d left, a man had shown up with food.  Clarke had thought about not eating again, wondering if Lexa would come back if she didn’t, but her empty stomach eventually got the better of her.  Not long after, a woman had appeared, saying the commander had asked her to prepare a bath for Clarke, and she had accepted it with only a little hesitation.

After walking through the forest for two days, Clarke was even more sore and dirty than she’d realized, and she didn’t think anything had ever felt so good as the moment she’d sunk into the warm water.  She’d stayed in it until the water had gotten cold, and even then she’d thought about calling the woman back to see if she could draw her another bath.  Clarke didn’t want to appear like she was enjoying her time there, though, so she’d resisted the urge.

Sleep had been a little harder to come by.  Clarke’s mind had been racing since the moment she stepped through the gates into Polis, and she found it hard to rest with so much going on in her head.  She wanted to be alert for the meeting, though, and eventually managed to doze off for a few hours until she was awoken by the sound of footsteps walking past her door.  Since then, she’d been listening to more and more people walk down the hallway, and every time she wondered if one of them was finally going to come and get her.

Clarke didn’t know what time it was when she finally heard someone approaching and the door open, but there was nothing but a few streaks of orange in the darkening sky.  When she looked over her shoulder, she expected one of the guards, but it was a man she hadn’t yet seen.  Like most of the others in the tower, he was muscular and looked like he could kill her in about five seconds if he wanted to, but she thought his eyes seemed a little kinder than the others.

“The Commander sent me,” he said.

“Is it time for the meeting?” Clarke asked, hoping he wasn’t just there to bring her some more food.

He nodded.  “Everyone has arrived.”

“Who is ‘everyone’?” Clarke asked, wondering exactly who Lexa had been waiting on to arrive.

“Representatives from the clans,” he answered.

“Clans?” Clarke asked with a frown.  “What clans?”

The guy didn’t answer and Clarke sighed, wondering why it was so hard to get any information out of the people around Polis.  She’d tried asking the guards questions, she’d asked the man who brought her food at least four questions in the short time he’d been in the room, and the whole time the woman had prepared her bath, she’d pestered her for information.  Just like with Lexa, though, they had been frustratingly silent about everything.  They had even been unwilling to answer questions that seemed relatively harmless, and Clarke wondered if Lexa had instructed them not to tell her anything.  If she had, it seemed like everyone had certainly taken her orders to heart.

“The Commander is waiting,” he said.

Clarke took a deep breath and then looked down, nodding.  Since the moment Lexa pulled the dagger on her, she’d wondered what the hell was going on, but now that she was finally going to get some answers, she realized part of her was actually a little afraid to know.  As much as she wanted to know why she was there, she was afraid to know what it had to do with her father.

“Okay,” Clarke said, looking up after a few moments.  “Let’s go.”

***

When Clarke walked into the room, almost all eyes turned to her, and she had the feeling no one was very happy she was there.  She had never seen anyone look at her with such contempt before, especially a bunch of people she’d never even met.  She didn’t even know these people existed until recently, and she wondered what she could have possibly done to make them look at her look that.

“What took you so long?” Lexa asked when she walked over.  “Was there any trouble?”

“It was my fault,” Clarke said.

Lexa’s eyes locked with hers for a moment and then she gave a slight nod before looking at the man who’d brought Clarke.  “Stay with Clarke.  Some of the others do not wish her to be here.”

“Should I be worried?” Clarke asked.

“Lincoln will keep you safe,” Lexa replied before turning on her heel.

“They won’t do anything with the Commander here,” he said as Lexa walked across the room.  “You’re under her protection; it would be treason.”

With the way several of the people were still looking at her, she wouldn’t put a little treason past any of them.  A few of them even had their hands on their weapons and she wondered if anyone would be able to save her if one of them decided to try to kill her.  She knew Lexa had quick reflexes, but she didn’t know if they were _that_ quick.

“You know why we are here,” Lexa said, stopping in the middle of the room to stand at a large table.  “I have returned from Arkadia.”

“What is she doing here?” one of the men asked, pointing roughly toward Clarke.  “Why would you bring one of them with you?”

Clarke noticed Lincoln take a step toward her side and she was grateful for the protection.

“Are you questioning the commander?” the severe looking woman from the previous day asked as she drew her sword.

“Indra,” Lexa said, holding up her hand.

“Are all meetings like this?” Clarke whispered.

“Lately,” Lincoln replied.

“Clarke is here because things in Arkadia did not go as planned,” Lexa said.  “They are further along than we thought.  Clarke’s father is the man I was there to kill, but he left for Mount Weather.”

Clarke’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened in surprise at Lexa’s words.  She’d assumed Lexa was going to take her father like she’d taken her; it never crossed her mind that she was there to kill him.

“Then the plan failed,” a woman with a tattoo across her face announced.  “We should march on Arkadia.  They cannot succeed if they have nothing left.”

“Silence!” Lexa commanded when a chorus of agreements erupted in the room.

“Heda, we should destroy Arkadia before it is too late,” a man said.

“You can’t do that!” Clarke found herself saying, stepping forward toward the center of the room.

“We can do whatever we like!” the man spat.

“There are hundreds of people there who have done nothing to you,” Clarke replied, though she was looking at Lexa.  “I thought you said you were finally going to tell me what’s going on, but so far all I’ve heard was that you planned to kill my father and now everyone here wants to kill everyone I care about.  Why am I here?”

“So would the rest of us,” the tattooed woman said.  “Why would you bring one of them to our capital?”

“We were wrong,” Lexa stated.  “The people of Arkadia do not know what is happening.”

Clarke frowned and crossed her arms over her chest as several people stared at her.  It was frustrating to feel like she was the only person in the room who didn’t know what was going on.  Lexa had promised her answers, but right now she felt even more confused than when she’d walked into the room.

“What don’t we know?” Clarke asked.

“It could be a trap,” the woman with the face tattoo argued, ignoring Clarke.  “She could be here to spy on us and you brought her here.”

As Indra began threatening the woman, Clarke turned to Lincoln with a sigh.  “What is happening?”

“It’s not my place to say,” he replied.

“I need to know,” Clarke said.  “If this had to do with my family, my friends, my home—” She sighed again, shaking her head.  “Why do the people in this room want to attack us?”

Lincoln looked over Clarke’s shoulder and suddenly stepped around her, shielding her body with his, and she heard the sound of metal on metal.

“Teik em we!” Lexa yelled. 

When Lincoln stepped back, Clarke saw the man who’d asked what she was doing there lying on the floor.  A moment later, several guards rushed forward, grabbing the man as well as two others.

“Take Clarke to her room,” Lexa ordered Lincoln, who nodded, and grabbed Clarke’s arm.

“Wait,” Clarke said, trying to pull away.

“I will be there soon,” Lexa said.

Lincoln pulled on her arm, dragging her toward the door.  “You won’t want to see this.”

“See what?” Clarke asked.

“What happens when someone goes against the Commander’s orders,” Lincoln answered.

***

Clarke stopped and glanced at Lincoln for a moment before she continued walking around the room.  She wanted to ask him what was going on, but she knew he wouldn’t answer.  She felt like she had been standing in the room for hours and she was tired of waiting on Lexa.  More importantly, she was tired of being kept in the dark; she needed to know what was going on, and she needed to know now.

“When is she coming?” Clarke asked.

“She will be here when it is over,” Lincoln replied.

Clarke sighed and walked over to the table, resting her hands on top of it.  “What happens to people who go against Lexa?”

“You don’t want to know,” Lincoln said.

“If I didn’t want to know I wouldn’t have asked,” Clarke replied.

“She’ll use them to show everyone else what happens when someone disobeys the Commander’s orders,” Lincoln said.  “Treason is a serious offense.  They will be taken into the courtyard and they will be executed in front of everyone.  Death by a Thousand Cuts.”

“You’re right,” Clarke said, staring down at the candles on the table.  “I didn’t want to know.”

“They knew our laws when they decided to go against the Commander’s word,” Lincoln said.

Clarke opened her mouth but closed and looked toward the door when she heard someone approaching.  It was the first time since Lincoln brought her to the room that she’d heard someone outside and now she guessed she knew why.  Everyone else was outside for the execution.

“I guess it’s over,” Clarke commented.

Silence enveloped them once more and Clarke began pacing around the room again, knowing now that it was only a matter of time.  Finally, after several more minutes, the door opened and Lexa stepped inside, and Clarke stopped in the middle of the room, turning to face the Commander.

“Leave us,” Lexa said, glancing at Lincoln.

He nodded and then looked at Clarke for a moment before heading toward the door.  The moment the door was closed behind him, Lexa took her hand off the hilt of her sword and walked further into the room.

“Are you finally going to tell me what’s going on?” Clarke asked.  “Why did so many people in that room want to attack Arkadia?  Why were they so mad that I was there?”

“I’m sorry, Clarke,” Lexa said.  “I told you that you would be safe and—”

“I don’t care about that,” Clarke interrupted, walking toward Lexa.  “I just want to know what’s happening.”

Lexa nodded.  “What do you know about Mount Weather?”

“Not a lot,” Clarke replied.  “I’ve heard talk that it could be a place with supplies.”

“It’s a lot more than that,” Lexa said.  “It’s the reason the world is how it is.”

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked with a frown.

“Mount Weather holds what is responsible for the destruction of the old world,” Lexa said.  “And if your father succeeds, he’ll release it onto our world, killing us all.”

Clarke shook her head in disbelief.  “My father would never do that.”

“He may not know the consequences of his actions,” Lexa replied.

“How do you know any of this?” Clarke asked.  “Why should I believe anything you say?”

“Last year Lincoln found a book while he was on a scouting mission,” Lexa said.  “It changed what we’ve always believed.”

“About what?” Clarke asked.

“We always believed there was a war,” Lexa said.  “That’s what our ancestors told us.  They were wrong; there was no war.”

“That can’t be,” Clarke argued.  “If there was no war, then who dropped the bombs?”

“Do you know what the world was like before?” Lexa asked.

Clarke slowly nodded.  “We learned about it in school. And I’ve read books.”

“So have I,” Lexa replied.  “I have sent people out to gather as many books as they could find.  One rule of war is to know your enemy.”

“What enemy?” Clarke asked.

“If you’ve read about Earth before, you know how people depended on technology,” Lexa said, and Clarke nodded.  “It is what destroyed them.  The book Lincoln discovered described an artificial intelligence that began to think for itself.  There was no war; this artificial intelligence is what set off the bombs.”

“But why?” Clarke asked, shaking her head.

“It believed people did not deserve to live,” Lexa replied.  “The book described phase one and phase two.  Phase one targeted the largest cities.  Phase two was going to take place a week later.  It was going to target the areas people gathered next to cause the most loss of life.”

“What do you mean ‘was’?” Clarke asked.

“It failed,” Lexa replied.  “The man who wrote the book discovered what was happening.  He had helped create it and he planned to stop it.  Since this artificial intelligence wasn’t only in one location, he said he had to stop everything.  He called it an electromagnetic pulse.”

“An EMP,” Clarke said to herself.

“You’re heard of it,” Lexa said.

Clarke nodded.  “My father had this book he loves—” Clarke paused.  “You still haven’t told me what this had to do with him or why I’m here.”

“The man—he was successful in stopping phase two,” Lexa said.  “But Mount Weather is protected.  It was protected from the bombs and it was protected from the EMP.  The artificial intelligence still lives there.  Your father has been working on restoring power to Arkadia.  To connect it to Mount Weather.  To connect it to the bombs that are just north of Arkadia.  If he succeeds, phase two will begin again, and we will all die, Clarke.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Clarke said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“As I said, I don’t think he knows the consequences,” Lexa replied.  “I was in Arkadia to stop him; I was supposed to do it the night of the festival.  Before I could get to him, he had left for Mount Weather.”

“The Chancellor sent him there,” Clarke said.

“We know your Chancellor is working for the enemy, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“But why would he do that?” Clarke asked.  “I’ve known him my whole life.  He’s my best friend’s father.”

“I sent word to your Chancellor last year,” Lexa said.  “He agreed to a meeting.  We both agreed to send five people to meet in neutral territory.  I sent Indra and four other warriors.  She was the only one who came back.  My people found her hours later barely alive.  She said they never asked why they were there; they just attacked.  This—AI has a way of making people do what it wants.  That is why we thought you were all working for it, but it turns out we were wrong.”

Clarke frowned.  “Why would you think that?”

“Because it has been protecting you,” Lexa answered.  “The other day you asked why we had to wait until a certain time to leave Arkadia. It was so we would not be seen.  The town is being watched by the same things that shot at us when we neared Polis, but my scouts learned of a brief time when they change at night. A time when they are not watching.  We thought they were protecting the town because you were helping them.”

“If what you’re saying is true, I can assure you my father doesn’t know,” Clarke firmly stated.  “He would never do this if he knew what was going to happen.”

“Whether he knows it or not doesn’t matter,” Lexa replied.  “The result will be the same.”

Clarke looked down, finding it hard to wrap her head around what Lexa was saying.  She knew the world that once was had been destroyed by nuclear bombs, but to hear some artificial intelligence had been responsible for it in an effort to destroy humanity seemed crazy.  But yet it made sense at the same time.  They’d never known where the bombs had come from or why all the electronics stopped working after the bombs had dropped.  It had always been bad to think that people had been responsible for the destruction of the world, but to know a computer was responsible for it actually seemed worse somehow.

“Why did you bring me here?” Clarke asked.  “Why didn’t you just wait for my dad to get back and kill him then?”

“If I stayed any longer, an army would have come looking for me,” Lexa answered.  “Mount Weather does not know we have this information and it would have ruined any surprise we have against them.  I couldn’t risk it.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you brought me here,” Clarke pointed out.

“I had to change my plan,” Lexa said.  “If your father hasn’t become one of them, we may be able to negotiate a trade.  Him for you.”

Clarke furrowed her brows.  “What do you mean if he hasn’t become one of them?”

“Mount Weather contains technology that has been lost to the rest of the world,” Lexa said.  “It has people down there helping it.  Willing or not.  The AI has found a way to control people.  If that has happened—then your father is gone, Clarke.”

Clarke could feel the blood drain from her face as she asked, “What?”

“There would be no way to bring him back,” Lexa said.  “You should prepare yourself.”

“No,” Clarke replied, shaking her head.  “No!  I’m not losing my father!”

“Very well,” Lexa said, the even tone of her voice making Clarke angry.  “I’ve told you all I can tell you for now.  I should let you rest; I’m sure you have a lot to think about.”

“You’re just going to dump all this on me and leave?” Clarke asked as Lexa began to turn away.

“What else do you wish for me to do?” Lexa asked.  “You’re the one who wanted to know, Clarke.”

“I—” Clarke sighed.  She’d spent so much time wanting to know what was happening that she never stopped to think that maybe she would be better off not knowing.

“Lincoln and Indra will be outside your door,” Lexa said.

Clarke locked eyes with Lexa for a moment and then nodded.  Her mind was reeling from everything the brunette had told her and she didn’t know what to say.  She wanted to ask her a thousand different questions, but as Lexa turned on her heel and began walking toward the door, Clarke could do nothing but watch her in silence.


	7. Plans

As Clarke stared down at the streets of Polis, she wondered—not for the first time—how all this could be so close to Arkadia without any of them knowing.  How this city and these people could exist without their knowledge.  Of course, if Lexa was telling the truth, Chancellor Jaha did know and he’d been responsible for the deaths of several of them.

Since talking with Lexa, Clarke had barely slept, going over and over everything in her head.  She didn’t want to believe anything she was being told, but she also didn’t think Lexa really had a reason to lie.  It was just hard to wrap her head around it when it put everything she believed into question.  Because if Lexa was right then Clarke no longer knew who she could trust in Arkadia.  If the AI could put people under its control, anyone could be on its side and she would have no idea.  Her own father could already be gone and she wouldn’t know.

When she heard a knock at the door, Clarke didn’t bother turning around.  There had been people coming and going all day, bringing her food or offering to draw her a bath, but Clarke had refused all offers.  She didn’t exactly feel hungry; quite the opposite, actually.  She’d been so insistent on knowing what was happening, but now that she did she felt sick to her stomach.

She heard someone enter the room behind her, but she didn’t immediately turn around to look.  Usually the people who would bring her food would either set the tray down and leave without a word or awkwardly clear their throat to get her attention, but whoever had come in didn’t say anything, choosing to stand there in silence instead.  For a moment, Clarke wondered if it was Lexa who had come in, but something told her the Commander wouldn’t waste time standing there, waiting for her to turn around.

“Did Lexa send you?” Clarke asked when she looked over her shoulder and saw Lincoln.

“Yes,” Lincoln answered.

She figured it was only a matter of time before Lexa sent someone.  She had no idea what was going to come next, but knew she was going to find out sooner or later.  And she figured it was going to be sooner rather than later given the fact that time was an issue.

“Do you know what’s going to happen to me?” Clarke asked.

“The Commander told me to bring this,” Lincoln said, lifting the books in his hand.

“What is it?” Clarke asked, furrowing her brows.

“It’s everything the Commander told you,” Lincoln answered.  “She thought you would want to see it for yourself.”

“She said you were the one who found it,” Clarke said as she walked forward.

Lincoln gave a slight nod but didn’t say anything.

“Where did you find it?” Clarke asked.

“A bunker,” Lincoln said.

“Where?” Clarke asked.

“South,” he replied.

Clarke sighed.  “Are all of you like this?”

“Like what?” Lincoln asked back.

“So short with your answers,” Clarke said.  “You could elaborate, you know.”

“Where I found it doesn’t matter,” Lincoln replied.

Clarke nodded and Lincoln held out the books.  Clarke looked down at them, pausing for a moment before taking a step forward and lifting the books from his hands.  The top one was small and made of what looked like leather while the other was larger and appeared to have been thoroughly used by someone.  It was stuffed with papers that clearly didn’t belong in the actual pages of the book and the edges and front were worn from repeated use.

“That one is the Commander’s,” Lincoln said as Clarke eyed the larger book.  “She sends search groups out every week.”

“For what?” Clarke asked.

“To learn more about the past and about our enemy,” Lincoln answered.

“And what she’s found is in here,” Clarke said, looking down, and picking up the smaller of the two books.  “Is this the one you found?”

Lincoln nodded. “Yes.”

“So everything Lexa told me is true?” Clarke said.  “There was no war?  This was all because of some computer who decided we didn’t deserve to live?” Clarke shook her head, running her hand through her hair.  “Now my father is going to unknowingly unleash it and I may lose him forever.”

Clarke glanced at Lincoln; he didn’t say anything, but she could see the sympathy in his eyes, and she wondered how many people he had already lost people to this war.

“Why did Lexa want me to have these?” Clarke wondered.

“You’ll have to ask the Commander,” Lincoln replied.

“Is she around?” Clarke asked.

“She’s with the ambassadors,” Lincoln answered.

Clarke nodded, knowing that meant she wasn’t going to be able to talk to Lexa anytime soon.  “I guess I have a lot of reading to do this afternoon.”

***

When Clarke heard the creaking sound of the doors opening, she didn’t have to look up to know Lexa had arrived.  It was the first time anyone had come in since Lincoln, though she knew it had to be far past dinnertime.  She didn’t know if everyone’s absence had to do with her refusal to eat anything all morning or if it was something else, but she did know Lexa was the only person who didn’t knock before entering the room, so she was unsurprised when she finally looked up and saw the Commander standing there.

“You wished to speak with me?” Lexa asked.

“Yes,” Clarke replied, standing from the table she’d been sitting at, and glancing down at the open book before looking at Lexa again. “Although, I didn’t expect you so soon.”

When she’d told Lincoln she’d like to talk to Lexa, she’d assumed it wouldn’t happen until late that night.  It had only been an hour or two, though, and she hadn’t entirely worked out what she was going to say to her just yet.

“Have you had a chance to look through everything?” Lexa asked, nodding toward the books.

“Not yet,” Clarke replied.  “I’ve read the journal, but I’m still looking through the information you’ve gathered.” She reached out, flipping through some of the pages she’d already looked at.  “Where did you find all of this?”

“Many places,” Lexa answered.  “I’ve sent my people in search of any books that could help us.  When Lincoln first brought the book back, we didn’t understand all of it.  We did not know what this electromagnetic pulse did until one of my search parties came across a book that explained it.  I’ve learned as much about the way Earth used to be as I could.”

“You’ve also been studying Arkadia,” Clarke commented.

“Yes,” Lexa replied.

“But there isn’t a lot about Mount Weather,” Clarke noted.

“Mount Weather is protected,” Lexa said, taking several steps toward Clarke.  “Most of my scouts never return.”

“About Mount Weather—” Clarke paused, taking a deep breath.  “I think I can help.  If you take me back to Arkadia, I think I can help you stop the AI in Mount Weather.  I just need you to agree not to hurt my father.”

“It may be too late for that, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Clarke shook her head. “I refuse to believe that.”

“If your father is under its control, there’s nothing anyone can do,” Lexa said.

“You have to let me try,” Clarke replied.

Lexa’s eyes narrowed slightly and Clarke immediately knew she’d said the wrong thing.  Something told her Lexa wasn’t used to being told she had to do anything, but part of her also didn’t care.  This was her father they were talking about; she wouldn’t lose him.  She _couldn’t_ lose him.

“The only thing I have to do is what is best for my people,” Lexa stated.  “My duty is to them, not to you.”

“And I can help your people,” Clarke said.  “You went to Arkadia to kill my father, but you came back with me.  You want to make a trade, but that isn’t going to happen if he’s under the AI’s control, is it?  And even if he isn’t, who says the Chancellor will let it happen?  I know Arkadia better than any of you, and if you let me go back, I’ll stop what’s happening.  I’ll stop my father from completing what he’s trying to do.”

“And how do you propose to do that?” Lexa asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Clarke admitted.  “I thought I was going to have more time to think about it before you arrived.”

Lexa was silent and, more than ever, Clarke wished she could tell what she was thinking. She was always annoyingly stoic, though, and right now was no exception.  After several seconds, Lexa let out a little sigh and said, “There’s nothing you can do, Clarke.”

“Wait,” Clarke demanded as Lexa began to turn.  “Why did you give me these if you didn’t want me to help?” Clarke motioned towards the books as she took several steps towards Lexa.  “If I’m only here so you can trade me for my father, why didn’t you just keep me locked away?  I think it’s because you know I can help.  So _let_ me.”

Lexa glanced down and Clarke knew that she’d said the right thing this time.  “I will send someone for you after sundown.”

“Thank you,” Clarke replied.  “I know you may not trust me, but you can trust that I’ll do everything I can to save _my_ people.”

“I do,” Lexa said before she turned and began walking toward the door.

***

“You cannot be serious, Commander,” Indra said, looking from Lexa to Clarke.  “She is not a warrior and you want to trust her with the fate of our people?”

“Clarke will not be alone,” Lexa stated.  “I will be with her.”

“Commander—”

 “Enough,” Lexa commanded.  “It is not up for discussion.  My presence in Arkadia will not be questioned and will help explain Clarke’s absence.  Anyone else will bring unwanted attention.”

“And what if you are caught?” Indra asked.

“We discussed this last time,” Lexa replied.  “Nothing has changed.  I will not leave this up to anyone else.”

“What about her?” Indra asked, piercing Clarke with a glare.  “Do you really trust her?”

“I trust that she will do what she can to save her people,” Lexa said.

“And how exactly do you plan to do that?” Lincoln asked, sounding more curious than combative.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, looking at her.

“Lexa and I are going to go back into Arkadia,” Clarke said, looking around at Indra and Lincoln.  “Since Lexa pretended to be interested in me while she was there, we’ll explain my absence by saying I left with her.  Willingly, of course.  There will be a punishment for being away from work for so long, but I can’t tell them I was taken without drawing attention.”

“What kind of punishment?” Indra asked.

“That’s not important,” Clarke replied.

“It is if it jeopardizes the plan,” Indra said.  
   
Clarke took a deep breath.  “They will likely make me work extra, without compensation.  They’ll also probably put me on probation for the next six months.  If I didn’t live in the Ark, they would probably do a lot worse, though.  People who are already privileged usually stay that way in Arkadia.  Besides, it would look bad if one of their most promising young people just ran away, now wouldn’t it?  They won’t want that getting around too much.”

“Clarke and I will enter the town exactly as I did,” Lexa added.  “We will remain hidden until the drone is no longer watching, and we will then slip in undetected.  Once we’re in Arkadia, it’s going to be up to Clarke from there.”

“We don’t know what’s happened with my father,” Clarke said, glancing at Lexa, knowing exactly what she thought.  “We don’t know if he went to Mount Weather just to get help or if he’s now under the AI’s control.  I’m going to him and see if I can tell if he’s still him.  And I’ll see if my mom has noticed anything different about him, as well.  That will decide how we proceed.  If he appears normal, I’m going to talk to him and tell him what is happening.  I know he’s not a part of this and he will help us if he knows what is going to happen if he completes what he’s doing.”

“And if he is one of them?” Indra asked.

“Then we sabotage what they’re doing,” Clarke answered.  “We know my father is working on it, so all we have to do is follow him and we’ll find where everything is happening.  We know it won’t stop them forever, but it’ll set them back.”

“We must do all of this undetected,” Lexa said.  “Right now, Arkadia remains mostly unguarded on the inside.  If things were to change, we would lose our advantage.  As of now, the AI does not know we are coming.  It doesn’t know we are aware of its existence and it needs to remain that way.”

Since leaving Arkadia, Clarke had wanted nothing more than to go back, but now that she was going back, she was actually nervous about it.  Now that she knew the truth, Arkadia felt tainted.  She knew the Chancellor was corrupted by this artificial intelligence, but she didn’t know how far else it went, and she couldn’t help thinking of her interactions with everyone, wondering whether or not they were really them.  Even worse than thinking of that, though, was how she was going to tell Wells about his father once everything was over.  She was so worried about her own father, but there was no doubt that her best friend had already lost his.

“And you think this will work?” Indra asked.  “You really think we should trust _her_ , Commander?”

“I know you don’t trust me, but I will do everything I can to make this work,” Clarke firmly stated.  “Everyone I care about is in Arkadia and I won’t let anything happen to them.  I may have already lost my father, but I won’t lose my mother and my friends to this thing.  And I’m definitely not going to let this thing destroy the rest of the world.”

Indra stared intently at her for several seconds before finally looking away and saying, “What is the plan to sabotage their operation?”

***

Clarke’s eyes were on Lexa as she ordered those around her to fall silent.  There was a lot of disagreement among the other leaders in the room, but Lexa remained firmly in command.  Indra, though clearly still apprehensive about the plan, was barking threats at everyone who dared to question the Commander’s leadership, which Clarke found interesting.

It was clear that there was a level of trust among certain members in the room.  Now that there were others in the room, Indra was no longer talking freely about her mistrust of Clarke or her skepticism about the plan.  Clarke knew her opinion on the plan hadn’t changed, so she could only figure that it was the arrival of the other people that had changed her attitude.  She obviously didn’t fear retaliation from Lexa, but respected her enough not to say anything in front of the others.

“Clarke.”

“Yes?” Clarke asked upon hearing her name.

“Is there a way to get information from any of your friends?” Lexa asked.

“Maybe,” Clarke replied.  “I know Raven has been working on the project, but I don’t know how much she’ll know.  The people in charge usually aren’t big on sharing information with those at the bottom.  You usually just do what you’re told and you don’t ask too many questions.” She paused for a moment.  “If anyone may know, though, it’s Raven; she doesn’t like to be kept in the dark about things and she will do her best to figure out what’s going on.  If anyone’s going to know anything other than my father, she’ll be our best hope.”

Lexa gave her a nod before looking back down at the table, where she had a map of Arkadia laid out.  Clarke noticed that it looked like some recent adjustments had been made to it, and she assumed Lexa had done them herself after coming back from the city.

As Lexa began going over her orders about what to do if she didn’t return, Clarke decided to step away from the table.  It had been an exhausting evening and she was beginning to feel its effects.  She felt like she was constantly on guard, knowing most of the people in the room were barely concealing their hostility toward her.  She didn’t want to appear weak in front of them, and it was draining trying to appear so confident when in reality she felt so uncertain about everything.

“Is this how it always is?” Clarke wondered aloud.  “Planning what to do next?” She glanced over at Lincoln.  “Is this what your lives are like?”

“This is how we survive,” Lincoln said.  “We’ve always been at war with Mount Weather.  Even before we discovered what was hidden inside.  They’re always killed our people.”

Clarke shook her head.  “I’m sorry.”

“Before the Coalition, the twelve clans used to be at war with each other,” Lincoln continued.

“There are twelve clans?” Clarke asked, wondering how they could have remained a secret for so long.

Lincoln nodded.  “The Commander united the clans, ending the bloodshed.”

Clarke looked across the room at Lexa; the Commander couldn’t be much older than her, yet she had the fate of so many people on her shoulders.  Clarke couldn’t imagine having to live like that day in, day out.

“How old is the Commander?” Clarke asked.

Lincoln hesitated for a moment before saying, “Twenty-one.”

“How long has she been the Commander?” Clarke wondered.

“She was chosen when she was sixteen,” Lincoln answered.

“I can’t imagine having so many people depend on me when I was so young,” Clarke remarked.  “I can’t imagine having so many people depend on me now.”

“You do,” Lincoln said.

Clarke let out a shaky sigh.  “I don’t want to think about that.”

“You need to,” Lincoln replied.  “The Commander is.  You can’t forget what you’re fighting for.  That’s why she doesn’t lose; she never gives up because of her people.  She knows how important everything she does is.  Someone always has to fight for them.  Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.  Get knocked down, get back up.  Your people need a leader who’s going to do that for them.”

Clarke shook her head.  “I’m not a leader.  But I also won’t let anything happen to the people I care about.”

“Then remember them,” Lincoln said.  “Remember why you fight.”

“Clarke,” Lexa said, and the blonde looked over to find the Commander looking at her.  “Join us.”

Clarke nodded and took a step forward but stopped and turned back to Lincoln.  “Thank you.”

***

“Lexa,” Clarke said, surprised to find the other woman when she opened her door.

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” Lexa said.

“You didn’t,” Clarke replied.  “I—I can’t really sleep.”

Lexa nodded and stepped into the room when Clarke opened the door wider, allowing her entry.  As she walked past, Clarke couldn’t help following her with her eyes, a smile slowly appearing on her face.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“No reason,” Clarke lied as she closed the door behind Lexa.

“You’re smiling at me,” Lexa said, looking very unamused.

Clarke rolled her eyes and followed Lexa toward the middle of the room before saying, “I was just thinking how different you look like this.”

Lexa was in a pair of black shorts and was wearing a grey t-shirt that had been cut off and had a longer, black shirt underneath.  She was also barefoot, her face was devoid of the makeup she’d worn since she’d come to Polis, and as far as Clarke could see, she had no armor and no weapons.  Though, if Clarke had to guess, she would bet Lexa probably had a dagger or two stashed somewhere even if she couldn’t actually see them.

“I cannot plan a war in shorts, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Clarke laughed.  “Well, you could—”

“And who would take me seriously like this?” Lexa asked.

“Is that why you wear the black makeup?” Clarke asked.  “To be taken more seriously?”

“It is tradition to wear war paint,” Lexa replied.

“Well, I like you better without it,” Clarke said with a slight raise of her eyebrow.

“I came here to discuss tomorrow with you,” Lexa said after several moments, clasping her hands behind her back, and Clarke almost wanted to laugh at the action but thought better of it.

“Isn’t that what we did all evening?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” Lexa replied.  “But I came here to talk between us.  I can see you’re afraid, but you did not want to show it in front of the others.”

“They already don’t trust me,” Clarke said.

“And you didn’t want to appear weak,” Lexa finished for her.  “It is understandable, Clarke.  You must not let your fear control you, though.  People cannot know anything is wrong or they will ask questions.”

Clarke sighed.  “I know.”

She knew people were already going to ask enough questions.  By the time she got back, she was going to be gone for almost a week, and people didn’t just leave Arkadia like that.  She knew her parents were going to be worried about her, and it wasn’t like her to just leave without saying anything.  And for her to do it for over a day was unheard of, so to be gone for nearly a week was unfathomable.  It was already going to take a lot to convince them that she was fine and that she’d left on her own.  She didn’t need to invite any more questions on top of that.

“Don’t worry,” Clarke added.  “I’ll be convincing.  I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Will you?” Lexa asked.

Clarke opened her mouth but then closed it with a frown.

“Are you prepared to go against your family and your friends?” Lexa asked.  “We know your father may be controlled by the AI, but he may not be the only one.  Your friend, Raven, could be.  We know the Chancellor is and isn’t he your friend’s father.”

“Wells is not under anyone’s control,” Clarke stated.

“You do not know that,” Lexa argued.

“I know him,” Clarke replied.  “He’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember.  If anything was different about him I would know.”

“But are you prepared to fight them if you have to?” Lexa asked.  “Will you do what it takes?  Because not everyone is going to be on your side.  If anyone finds out what we are doing, there are going to be people who will try to stop us.  People you know.  People you probably care about.”

“If that’s what it takes,” Clarke said.  “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“There’s always a choice, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“There isn’t for me,” Clarke said.  “I need to save my family and my friends.  And maybe you could do it all alone, but it wouldn’t be fair to leave it up to you.  I need to do this.”

“And you will,” Lexa replied.

“I have to say, I don’t look forward to walking back,” Clarke said, giving Lexa a wry smile.  “Although, maybe we won’t be shot at or attacked by a wild animal this time.  And maybe it won’t be as bad this time if you don’t slam my head into any more rocks.”

“Rest well,” Lexa said, ignoring Clarke’s remark.  “We have a long journey ahead of us tomorrow.”

Clarke nodded.  “Goodnight Lexa.  Or am I supposed to call you Commander now?”

“You may call me whichever you wish,” Lexa replied after a moment’s pause.

“Goodnight then—Lexa,” Clarke said.

“Goodnight, Clarke,” Lexa replied, a barely-there smile visible on her face as she turned to leave the bedroom.


	8. Home

Clarke sighed as she looked down at her clothes.  She certainly blended in with the rest of the people in the room, but she felt uncomfortable in the clothing.  But it was warmer than what she’d been wearing when she left home and, more importantly, if they were caught, no one would ever know she had come from Arkadia.  It was why Lexa had made her change on the way there; she knew if one of them was caught with someone from Arkadia that it would look too suspicious.  The AI would figure out that they knew more than originally thought and they would lose any hope of surprising it and Mount Weather with an attack.

Clarke knew it had to be nearly time to go and she could sense the unease in the room growing by the minute.  The ambassadors from the other clans were clearly unhappy with Lexa’s decision to leave Polis again, but there wasn’t much they could do about it unless they wanted to try to argue with the Commander.  She’d found out from Lincoln that they weren’t even the leaders of their clans.  Since the leaders deemed it too dangerous to go anywhere, they sent the ambassadors in their place.

“Nou mou,” Lexa said, holding up her head.

“Heda,” Indra said, taking a step forward.

“I said enough,” Lexa said, her eyes turning hard.

Clarke looked away, trying not to look like she was interested in their conversation.  She’d noticed them talking for the past few minutes, catching bits and pieces of every little bit, but whatever they were saying was in their other language.  And so far, the only word she had been able to learn the meaning of was Heda.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, walking up next to her.  “You may need this.”

Clarke looked down at the dagger in Lexa’s hand.  “You’re giving me a weapon?  Does this mean you’re not going to tie me up this time?”

She gave Lexa a slight smirk as she took the dagger from her, which was heavier than she’d expected.  She knew Lexa would probably be the one to defend them if anything happened, but at least she would feel a little less vulnerable.

“I trust you know it’s in both of our best interest to not run off this time,” Lexa replied.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Clarke agreed as she slipped the dagger into the holster on her thigh.

“I hope not,” Lexa replied.  “That’s _my_ dagger.” Lexa glanced over her shoulder for a moment and then looked back at Clarke.  “I must settle a few things.  The sun should be up and we can be on our way.”

Clarke nodded.  “I’ll be here.”

Clarke watched Lexa as she crossed the room and motioned to Indra and two others with little more than a slight nod of her head.  Clarke found it slightly mesmerizing how Lexa had to be half the age of some of the ambassadors yet she remained in complete command the whole time.

“Lexa gave you her dagger.”

Clarke looked over her shoulder before turning around to face Lincoln.  “Yeah.  I guess she doesn’t want me to die out there.”

“The Commander doesn’t let anyone else use her weapons,” Lincoln said.  “It’s actually punishable by death.”

“Maybe she just wants an excuse to kill me,” Clarke joked, her hand lightly brushing the hilt of the dagger.

“She wants the others to know she trusts you,” Lincoln said.  “It’s a sign of respect.”

Clarke nodded, not at all surprised that it had been about appearances.  “Do you know what she was discussing with Indra?”

“Yes,” Lincoln replied.

“Are you going to tell me?” Clarke asked.

“Indra thinks you’re going to get the Commander killed,” Lincoln said.  “She doesn’t trust you.  You’re not a warrior; you don’t know how to fight.  She thinks you’re going to get in the Commander’s way and she’d be better off without you.”

“I’m sure that’s what everyone thinks,” Clarke replied, looking around the room.

“The Commander wouldn’t take you if she believed it,” Lincoln said.  “She wouldn’t jeopardize the plan.  The Commander trusts you.”

Clarke found it difficult to believe that Lexa would trust her, but she did believe Lexa wouldn’t do anything to compromise what they were doing.  Not only were their own lives at stake, but the fate of the entire world was hanging in the balance.

“I won’t get in Lexa’s way,” Clarke said, looking up at Lincoln.

“I know,” Lincoln replied.  “The Commander told us you killed the mountain lion when you could have run.  You may not be a warrior, but that doesn’t mean you’re not a fighter.”

“If I don’t get the chance to see you again, thank you,” Clarke said, giving Lincoln a smile.  “For everything.”

***

“Clarke?”

“I’m fine,” Clarke said, putting her hand on her side as she tried to catch her breath.

“Sit,” Lexa commanded.

“We don’t have to stop,” Clarke said, shaking her head.

They had been walking for hours and Clarke really could use a break, but she didn’t want to be the reason they took one.  Lexa wasn’t even a little winded even though they had just climbed up what was essentially a rock wall while Clarke felt like she was about to fall over.  She tried to tell herself that Lexa was used to things like this while she hadn’t even left Arkadia in twelve years, but it really didn’t make her feel any better.

“We will rest here,” Lexa stated.

“Really, we don’t have to,” Clarke argued.

“It is not just for you, Clarke,” Lexa said, and Clarke noticed her wince slightly as she took a seat on a fallen log.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked.

“I am fine,” Lexa answered.  “Do not worry.”

“Lexa—”

Lexa sighed.  “It is only my arm.”

“Let me look,” Clarke said, walking forward, and kneeling in front of her.

Lexa didn’t offer Clarke her arm, but she also didn’t stop her when Clarke took her hand and began pulling up her sleeve.

“How much does it hurt?” Clarke asked, glancing at Lexa’s face.  “Honestly.”

“I’ll survive,” Lexa answered.

“That didn’t answer my question,” Clarke replied.

“I’ve had worse,” Lexa said.  “I have led many battles.”

Clarke stayed silent for a moment as she unwound the bandage from Lexa’s arm.  When she pulled the wrapping off, she gently took Lexa’s arm to examine the wound.  The scratches were deep and slightly red, but whoever had wrapped it in Polis had put some kind of salve on it and it didn’t look infected.

“I hate to imagine what else has happened if this isn’t the worst,” Clarke commented. 

“Physical injuries heal,” Lexa replied.

Clarke nodded in understanding and then looked down, pulling Lexa’s sleeve carefully over the bandage and down her forearm.  As she pulled the fabric down, she noticed several faint scars along Lexa’s arm and she couldn’t help wondering just how many others Lexa had.  And how many of those scars weren’t physical.

“Lincoln told me you’ve been the Commander since you were sixteen.” Clarke said, joining Lexa on the log. 

“Yes,” Lexa replied in an even voice.

“I can’t imagine having that kind of responsibility,” Clarke said, glancing at Lexa.  “How did you do it?”

“My people grow up knowing that it is an honor to be chosen by the Commander’s spirit,” Lexa replied.  “I do it because I have no choice.  My people depend on me.  When I die, another will be chosen, but right now, I’m what they have.”

“How is the Commander chosen?” Clarke wondered.

“A ritual is performed after the Commander dies,” Lexa answered.  “There, the spirit of the Commander chooses the one who is most worthy.”

“And you were most worthy,” Clarke said.

Lexa looked down, nodding.  “Not everyone approved of this.  Before the Coalition the clans were often at war with one another.  They did not like one of the Trikru being their new Commander.”

“Lincoln told me you were the one to unite the clans,” Clarke said.

“Not without a price,” Lexa replied.  “Queen Nia of the Ice Nation wished to put a stop to it.  She thought she could do so by learning my secrets—my weaknesses.” Lexa paused.  “Her name was Costia.  The Ice Nation took her and tortured her and then delivered her head to my bed.  And I still let them into the Coalition because it is what was right for my people.  Starting a war with them would have only meant more deaths.”

Clarke opened her mouth but no words came out.  She couldn’t imagine the horror Lexa must have felt and she knew nothing she could say would be of any comfort.  Plus, given what she knew about Lexa, she didn’t think she would want her sympathy.

“Is she still alive?” Clarke asked.  “The Queen.”

“Yes,” Lexa answered.  “She is still leading the Ice Nation.”

Before Clarke could say anything else, Lexa had stood up, her hand on the hilt of her sword.  Clarke looked around, wondering what Lexa had heard or seen that she hadn’t, worried that they were about to be attacked at any moment.

“I’ll keep watch,” Lexa said.

“Oh,” Clarke said, instantly relaxing a bit.  “Why don’t I?  You should rest if your arm is hurting.”

“I’ll rest when the enemy is defeated,” Lexa replied.

“That could be a while,” Clarke remarked, slightly amused.

“Rest, Clarke,” Lexa said.  “You don’t need to worry.  My arm will be okay.”

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded.  “We still have a long day ahead of us.  Rest while you can.”

***

Clarke held her hands out, warming her palms as the heat radiated from the fire.  It hadn’t been very warm all day, and the moment the sun went down, the temperature had plummeted, so she’d had been happy the fire had been the first thing Lexa had set up when making the camp.

Despite how chilly she’d been all day, she’d been sure not to say word about it.  She was sure her body had probably given her away, but she wasn’t about to say anything aloud.  She didn’t want Lexa to think she couldn’t handle what was to come and she figured whining about being cold was definitely a way to make her think just that.

“Here.”

Clarke looked up at Lexa and then down at the canteen she was offering her.  “Thanks.”

Clarke took a drink of the water and then handed it back to Lexa.  She shivered as she pulled her arm back and she knew it didn’t go unnoticed by Lexa, who seemed all too aware of everything.

“How are we doing on time?” Clarke asked even though she knew Lexa would know she was trying to distract her.  “Will we be there before the drone leaves?”

“As long as everything continues to go according to plan,” Lexa answered.  “I thought we would set up camp near the lake, but we reached it earlier than I thought we would today.”

“You know the area so well,” Clarke commented as she placed her bag on the ground.

“I have been here many times and have studied my scout’s reports even more,” Lexa said. 

“Was last week really your first time in Arkadia?” Clarke wondered as she laid down, resting her head on her bag, and looking over at Lexa.

“Yes,” Lexa replied.  “I could not risk anyone going in until we knew what we were facing.”

“At least one thing you told me while you were there was true,” Clarke remarked.  “Other than your name.  Which, while we’re on the subject, why didn’t you just go straight to my father?  Why bother with me?”

“Because your father was never alone,” Lexa answered.  “He would disappear where I could not follow without drawing too much attention to myself.  When I learned he was in charge of the project to restore power to Arkadia, I knew I needed to learn all I could about him. If I couldn’t observe him myself, the next best way to learn about him was either from his wife or from you and you were logical choice.”

“The logical choice?” Clarke asked.

“You were often alone,” Lexa stated.  “Even when you were out with your friends, you kept to yourself.  It was easy to use your attraction to me to gain your attention.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t exactly deny that she’d been immediately attracted to Lexa.  And she also couldn’t blame Lexa for what she’d done when the fate of the world was in jeopardy.  Still, though, it stung to think she’d been used the way she had been even if it was for the greater good.

“Do you think you’ll be able to be just as convincing this time?” Clarke asked.  “Because if I’m supposed to have run off with you, that means we will have gotten close, and I can guarantee Raven will notice if we’re not.”

“I am more than capable of doing what needs to be done, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “I spent some time observing your social customs before approaching you, so I know how your friends will expect us to act.  It should not be too hard.”

“Well—good,” Clarke said.

Clarke wished she could be as unemotional about it as Lexa was.  She didn’t look forward to having to pretend to be so enthralled with Lexa that she ran away with her.  If there had been any other way to explain why she left Arkadia, she would have opted to go with it, but saying she willingly left with Lexa was their best option since they were in agreement that it would invite the least number of questions.  Or at least ones that would reveal what had really happened and why they were there.  Clarke didn’t want to think how much her friends were going to ask her about her love life.

“I’ll keep watch,” Lexa said, putting her hand on her thigh, where Clarke knew she had a dagger at the ready.

“You could just sleep too,” Clarke replied.  “I’m sure you’ll hear anything that tries to sneak up on us.”

Lexa shook her head.  “We should not take that chance.”

“Then wake me up in a few hours and I’ll take over,” Clarke replied.

“That is unnecessary, Cl—”

“Lexa,” Clarke interrupted.  “Wake me up in a few hours.”

“Alright,” Lexa replied after a few seconds’ pause.  “If you wish.”

***

“There it is,” Lexa said, glancing over at Clarke.

Clarke followed Lexa’s gaze with a frown.  She was looking in the exact spot Lexa was staring, but she couldn’t see the drone that Lexa assured her was there. If Lexa was right about it being there, though—and Clarke didn’t doubt she was—it was too close to the outcropping they had planned on camping out at for the evening.

“We will have to wait somewhere else,” Lexa said.  “But we must move.  We’re too exposed here.”

“Wait,” Clarke said, reached out, and grabbed ahold of Lexa’s arm as she began to walk away.

“We must hurry,” Lexa replied.

“I have an idea,” Clarke said.

Lexa stared at her for a moment but then gave her a barely-there nod.  “What did you have in mind?”

“There’s always been a rumor about a tunnel on the eastern side of the town,” Clarke said.  “Jasper and Monty swear they found it when they were about twelve years old.  It’s supposed to come out in the woods somewhere, and if we can figure out where that is, we can get in without having to wait.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” Lexa asked.  “It would have made leaving Arkadia easier.”

“You were kidnapping me,” Clarke replied.  “I wasn’t going to help you do it.”

“And why didn’t you tell me about it while we were planning everything?” Lexa asked.

“Because you wanted facts and I don’t know if it’s really there,” Clarke replied.  “But we have several hours to spare, right?”

“The forest is a large place, Clarke,” Lexa stated.

“I know, but you know the area, right?” Clarke asked.  “Monty and Jasper said it came out near a stream and that they could see part of a fallen brick wall and a huge, twisted tree.  Do you know any place like that?”

Lexa nodded.  “We must remain out of sight.”

Clarke nodded back and then followed Lexa as she set off around the edge of the forest.  As they walked, she looked at the walls surrounding Arkadia with a pang of sadness.  The place had never been perfect, but it was home.  Now, though, it didn’t feel like home.  Not when she was questioning whether or not she ever knew so many of the people within its walls.  And she hadn’t said it to Lexa, but she wondered if their settling there twelve years ago was an accident.

When they finally reached the stream and Clarke saw a large, twisted tree, she knew they were in the right place.  She had no idea what the entrance would look like, but given that no one on the outside had ever found it, she assumed it would be well hidden.

“I’m suddenly wishing I’d listened to Monty and Jasper a little better,” Clarke remarked as she looked around.

“Do you hear that?” Lexa asked.

“Hear what?” Clarke asked back.

Lexa began walking forward and Clarke followed behind her, listening for whatever Lexa was hearing.  As they neared several bushes next to a fallen tree, Clarke finally heard it.  It sounded like something was vibrating and she wondered how she hadn’t heard it earlier.

“We should hurry,” Lexa said.

Clarke glanced around, looking for anything that appeared out of the place.  She walked around the fallen tree, wondering if it had fallen on its own or if it had been placed there to hide something underneath.  Just as she was about to say something to Lexa, though, she stepped on something that sounded metallic and she looked down, using the heal of her boot to wipe away dirt and twigs on the ground.

“Over here,” Clarke said.

Lexa silently walked over and knelt down, feeling around the ground.  After several moments, her hand closed around a metal ring and she lifted up, pulling the metal door open.

Clarke frowned as she looked down.  “There’s light down there.”

“Be on guard,” Lexa instructed, and Clarke noticed that she already had one of her daggers in her hand.

Clarke nodded and started to take a step down, but Lexa grabbed her arm and said, “Stay behind me, Clarke.”

Lexa began to descend the steps and Clarke followed behind, closing the metal door as quietly as she could.  She cringed when it didn’t go as smoothly as she hoped and strained her ears for the sound of anyone approaching them.  It never came, though, and she and Lexa slowly began walking through the old tunnels until they reached the bend at the end.

“What do you see?” Clarke whispered when Lexa peered around the corner

“We’re not alone,” Lexa answered.

Clarke frowned and then carefully looked around the corner as well, catching a glimpse of two men just before they opened a door and walked through.  She didn’t need more than a glimpse, though; there were only so many people in Arkadia and she easily recognized both of them.

“I think we found where they’ve been working on restoring power,” Clarke said, looking over at Lexa.  “They both work with my father.”

“We need to get out of here unseen,” Lexa stated.

“I’m not arguing,” Clarke replied.

***

“There’s a guard.”

Clarke looked through the crack in the door and rolled her eyes.  “Murphy’s on guard tonight.  He won’t be there long; he never stays at his post.  I’ve heard Bellamy complain about it more times than I can count.”

Sure enough, several minutes later, Murphy disappeared and Clarke and Lexa quickly opened the door to tunnels and walked out.  When the door was shut behind them, she breathed a sigh of relief that they’d managed not to be caught. 

“This way,” Clarke said, quickly taking hold of Lexa’s hand when Lexa began to walk forward.

“Isn’t this the opposite direction of your house?” Lexa asked.

“The other way has too many guards,” Clarke said.  “It’s the long way around, but we’ll be less likely to be seen if we go this way.”

It didn’t matter as much if anyone saw them simply walking through Arkadia, but Clarke didn’t want to have to answer any questions right now.  She knew she was going to get bombarded with them from everyone, and if she could put it off a little longer that’s exactly what she was going to do.

“Have you practiced what you’re going to say to your parents?” Lexa asked.

“Don’t worry,” Clarke replied.  “I’ll be convincing.”

Lexa looked at her for a moment and then nodded.  They walked the rest of the way mostly in silence, which took longer than expected thanks to Bellamy, who was on guard at the front gate.  Unlike Murphy, Bellamy didn’t leave his post, so it was a lot harder to slip past him unseen.  It wasn’t until Octavia came by to talk to him that they finally managed to sneak past him while his back was turned.

“We made it,” Clarke said, looking around to make sure no one else was around the Ark before looking back at Lexa.  “Wait under the window.  I’ll signal when it’s clear.  You’ll be okay here?”

“I am well hidden here,” Lexa replied.  “And if not, I’m more than capable of taking care of things.”

“Please don’t kill anyone,” Clarke said, frowning.

“I said nothing of killing, Clarke,” Lexa replied with slight smirk.

“Well—good,” Clarke said, caught off guard by Lexa’s expression.  “I’ll let you in as soon as I can.”

Clarke turned and walked toward the front door, leaving Lexa in the alleyway.  She stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath.  She knew how much things could change when she walked in and she didn’t know if she was prepared for it.  She’d been telling herself the whole way back to Arkadia that Lexa would be wrong and her father would still be her father, but now that she was about to see him, she was terrified.

As much as she didn’t want to go in, she knew she needed to.  The longer she waited, the longer Lexa would be outside and the chances of her being seen would increase.  So, whether she was ready or not, Clarke put her hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it.

When she walked in and closed the door behind her, she half expected her parents to come running, but neither of them appeared.  She wondered if either of them was even home, but then she saw the flickering of candlelight coming from the den and began walking toward the room.  When she looked around the corner, she saw her father sitting in his usual chair with a bunch of papers spread out in front of him.

“Clarke,” he finally said when he noticed her in the hallway.  “You’re back.”

“Yeah, I—”

“Clarke!” her mom said, appearing on the stairs. “Where have you been?  We’ve been worried sick about you.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke replied.

“You’re sorry?” Abby asked.  “You disappear for five days with no explanation and all you can say is you’re sorry?”

“It’s—I’m—” Clarke shook her head.  “I know I shouldn’t have left, but—I was with Lexa.”

“How can you be so foolish, Clarke?” Abby asked.  “You know you can’t just leave like that.”

“I know I’m in trouble with Council—”

“The Council doesn’t know,” Abby interrupted.

Clarke furrowed her brows.  “What?  But I’ve missed work all week.”

“I told everyone you caught the flu that’s been going around,” Abby replied.  “The only other person who knows is Wells and that’s only because I couldn’t keep your friend away.  No one else knows the truth and we’re going to keep it that way.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said, grateful that her parents had managed to kept her absence a secret.

“Don’t thank me just yet,” Abby replied.  “The Council may not know, but you’re not going to get out of being punished by me.  We’ll save that conversation for tomorrow, though; Jackson came by just before you and told me I’m needed at the clinic.”

Abby walked over and wrapped her arms around Clarke in long hug.  When she pulled back, Clarke could see the relief on her face, which only left Clarke feeling guilty.  She hated that her parents thought she’d just run away for a week, but she couldn’t tell them the truth.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Abby said.  “And you better be here.”

“I will be,” Clarke quietly replied.

When her mom finally let her go and turned to leave, Clarke glanced over her shoulder at her father, who hadn’t moved since she walked in.

“I’m tired,” Clarke said.  “I’m going to get some rest.  Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Jake replied.

Clarke frowned but turned and quickly walked up the stairs to her bedroom.  When she walked in, she went directly to the window and opened it, looking down into the darkened alley.  Before she even had a chance to call out to Lexa, the end of some rope flew past her head.  Clarke shook her head at Lexa’s impatience and grabbed the end, walking over to her bed, where she tied the rope around the sturdiest part of her headboard.

“You can come up,” Clarke said out the window.

As Lexa began climbing the rope, Clarke looked around the room and noticed some things had been moved.  She wondered how long her parents spent in her room looking for any clue to where she may have gone.  Or more accurately, how long her mom had spent in there.

“Clarke?”

“I think you may have been right,” Clarke found herself saying.

“Right about what?” Lexa asked.

“My father,” Clarke answered.  “When he saw me, he had no reaction.  That’s not like him.”

“It’s been a long day, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “We should rest.  We’ll figure it out in the morning.”

Clarke nodded.  She appreciated that Lexa didn’t automatically agree with her or say she told her so, but it didn’t make her feel any better. She knew something was off with her father and after everything Lexa had told her, she was afraid there was nothing they would be able to do about it.


	9. Lies

Clarke walked down the stairs after glancing into her parents’ room and finding it empty.  She wasn’t surprised that her mom was already up—she often worked around the clock thanks to her job at the clinic—but it was a little early for her dad to be up.  Of course,  it was also early for her to be awake as well.  She guessed that the sun was still an hour or so from coming up, but she hadn’t been able to sleep very well.  As tired as she was, it was hard to relax when she couldn’t get her mind to shut off.

“Dad?” Clarke said as she rounded the corner to the kitchen.

“It’s me,” Abby replied, peering over her shoulder with an unreadable expression.  “Jake’s already at work.”

“Since when does he go in this early?” Clarke asked.

“He’s been going in early all week,” Abby said, looking away from Clarke.  “I figured he was doing it to take his mind off the fact that his daughter was missing.”

Clarke looked down, sighing lightly to herself.  “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve already said that,” Abby replied.

Clarke took a deep breath and tried to ignore the sound of disappointment in her mother’s voice.  “So, when did he come home?  How long was he gone?”

“He got home on Monday,” Abby said.

“Did he say where he was?” Clarke asked, trying to not sound overly interested.

“Not exactly,” Abby answered.

Clarke waited for a moment for her mom to elaborate, but she didn’t say anything else.  Instead, she turned and picked her bag up from counter before walking around the kitchen to grab a few more things.

“Are you going to work already?” Clarke wondered.

“Yes,” Abby replied.  “Jackson and Nicole both came down with the flu a few days ago, so it’s just me and River for the weekend.”

“Do you want me to come in?” Clarke asked, taking a step forward.  “I know it’s my weekend off, but—”

“That won’t be necessary,” Abby interrupted.

“Mom—”

“Enjoy your weekend off, Clarke,” Abby said.  “It’s the last one you’re getting for a while.” She gave Clarke a look that clearly conveyed her disappointment. “Breakfast is on the table.  If you need me, you know where I’ll be.”

Clarke nodded.  She hated that her mother was mad at her, but she was relieved that she didn’t want her to work.  She had things she needed to do and it would be harder to get them done if she had to be at work all day, but she knew it would look weird if she hadn’t offered.  She always offered to work any time the clinic was short-staffed, and she was afraid her mother may become suspicious if she suddenly changed that.

As Abby walked away, Clarke watched her, following her into the hallway and staying there until the door was closed behind her mother.  Even when the door was shut, Clarke just stood there, listening for any sound that meant her mother had come back.  After several minutes, she finally began walking toward the stairs, figuring it was safe to let Lexa know the coast was clear.

“Everyone’s gone for the day,” Clarke said as she opened her bedroom door and walked inside.  “Lexa?”

“I am right here,” Lexa said, causing Clarke to jump slightly.

“You were hiding?” Clarke asked.

“I heard someone approaching and I did not know if it was you,” Lexa replied.  “It was either hide or kill them.”

“Point made,” Clarke said.  “Hiding it is.”

Lexa gave a curt nod and clasped her hands in front of her, drawing Clarke’s eyes down the Commander’s body for a moment.  Clarke was so used to seeing Lexa in black and grays and wearing armor that it was strange to see her in a pair of light green shorts and a white shirt.  Lexa had wanted to sleep in the clothes she’d come in, but Clarke had insisted she borrow some of hers.  While Lexa’s clothing allowed her to not completely stand out in Arkadia, it wasn’t exactly meant for sleeping in.

“There’s, umm—breakfast downstairs,” Clarke said, averting her gaze.

“We should get going, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “We have a lot to do today.”

“We will,” Clarke said.  “After we eat.”

“Clarke—”

“It’s still dark,” Clarke stated, interrupting Lexa.  “Most people are still in bed or at least still in their homes.  It’ll look weird if we go knocking on people’s door.  It’ll be better if we wait until everyone else is out.  People will be less likely to notice us if we wait an hour or two.”

Lexa watched her for a moment before nodding.  “Alright, Clarke.  I will trust your judgment.  We’ll wait until you think we should go.”

“Come on,” Clarke said, giving Lexa a small smile.  “Before the food is cold.”

***

“There are many people out this morning,” Lexa commented.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied.  “A lot of the people who live in the Ark have Saturday and Sunday off, so they come to the market.  The rest are lucky to get more than a day off.”

“Your people are very different than mine,” Lexa said.  “They only rest when there is no more work to do.”

“Isn’t there always work to do?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” Lexa replied.

“So you never get a day off?” Clarke said.

“Some do,” Lexa replied.  “I do not.”

Clarke nodded in understanding.  “Maybe one of these days the world will finally be at peace and you can take a day off.”

“Perhaps,” Lexa replied.  “But that day will not be anytime soon.  If it ever does.”

Clarke opened her mouth but closed it after a few moments.  She wanted to tell Lexa that she was wrong and that day would come, but she knew she couldn’t make that promise.  The world was in more disarray than she could have imagined, and Lexa was one of the people who was fighting to keep it together.  Clarke hoped everything would go back to normal after they stopped what was happening, but this was Lexa’s normal, and Clarke wondered if Lexa’s job would ever be done.

“Where are you taking us?” Lexa asked when Clarke began walking toward one of the market stalls.

“I stop here every weekend,” Clarke replied.  “She’s the only one who tries to get paint supplies for me.”

“We have more important matters,” Lexa said, stopping.

“I know,” Clarke replied, turning around to look at her.  “But I’m supposed to act normal, right?  If anyone is watching me, it’ll look weird if I don’t stop.”

“It is a shame you are so predictable in your routine,” Lexa said as she began walking again.

Clarke rolled her eyes but otherwise ignored the comment.  Instead, she put a smile on her face and greeted the owner of the stand as she always did.  She made small talk, but kept it short; she could tell Lexa was on edge and eager to get moving.  Then again, Lexa always seemed like she was on edge.  Clarke, however, tried to remain relaxed as the woman pulled out two jars of paint—including the yellow Clarke had asked about the last time she was there—and she exchanged money for them.

“You may want to relax a little if you want to blend in,” Clarke said as they finally walked away.  “No one in Arkadia stands as straight and tense as you do.  You look like you’re always prepared for an attack.”

“I am,” Lexa replied.

“I know, but no one else in Arkadia is,” Clarke said.

“I will keep that in mind,” Lexa replied.

“Good,” Clarke said, glancing over at Lexa with an amused expression.

They walked a little bit further down the road before Clarke finally stopped just short of the building and turned to Lexa.

“Is this where your friend, Raven, will be?” Lexa asked

“Probably not,” Clarke replied.  “But there is someone here who may know where she is right now.” She glanced toward the blacksmith and then back at Lexa.  “Maybe you should wait here.”

“It will be better if we stay together,” Lexa replied.

“Okay, but let me do the talking,” Clarke said before turning and walking into the blacksmith.

“Well, well,” Finn said the moment he saw her.  “Long time no see, Princess.”

“I’ve been stuck inside,” Clarke lied, glancing at Lexa, who slowly began walking around to look at the various things hanging around.  “Maybe going to the pub wasn’t the best idea when the flu’s been going around.”

“You too, huh?” Finn asked.  “Monty and Jasper got it around the same time.”

“I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t get too close to us that night,” Clarke said, leaning forward, and resting her elbows on the counter.

“I guess,” Finn replied, his eyes flitting down toward Clarke’s chest.

“Raven didn’t come down with it, did she?” Clarke asked.  “I know she was sitting next to me for a while at the festival and I would hate to think she caught it from me.”

“Uh, no,” Finn said, running his hand through his hair.  “Raven’s fine.  She’s been working a lot since your dad got back.”

“Actually, you wouldn’t happen to know where she is right now, would you?” Clarke asked.  “I wanted to tell my dad something this morning, but he was already gone when I woke up, and I thought maybe she would know where he is.”

“She didn’t say,” Finn said, shaking his head.  “But she did say something about eating at the pub for lunch today.”

Clarke nodded.  “If I don’t see him by then, I’ll try to catch her there.” She gave him a smile.  “Thanks, Finn.”

“Any time,” Finn replied, flashing her a smile.

Lexa was already walking out of the blacksmith when Clarke turned on her heel.  The brunette had a much longer stride than her, so Clarke began walking more quickly to catch up to her.

“Where are you going?” Clarke asked.

“I do not like all this waiting,” Lexa replied.

“I know, but at least now we know where Raven will be,” Clarke remarked.

“Yes,” Lexa said, her shoulders tense, and her posture even more rigid than usual.  “Now we know.”

***

“This city is small.  I do not understand how it can be so difficult to find who we are looking for.”

“We’ll find her,” Clarke said, shutting the door behind them.

“We are wasting time, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“I know,” Clarke softly said.  “People in Arkadia talk, though, and if we go around asking too many people about Raven, it may get back to the wrong people.  I think our best hope is to wait a little bit.  We know Raven is supposed be at the pub for lunch.”  Clarke paused for a second.  “And I’ve been thinking that maybe I should go alone to talk to her.”

“Why do you wish to go alone?” Lexa asked.

“I told you before that Raven is very perceptive,” Clarke stated.  “She’s going to notice how we are with each other, especially after we left the festival together.”

“Then we will go with our original plan,” Lexa replied.  “We will appear as a couple.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Clarke asked.  “If anyone will notice that something is off, it’s Raven.  And with how you’ve been today, I’m not sure it’s the best idea.”

“I am more than capable of blending in with your people,” Lexa said.  “Maybe I am not as relaxed as them, but I’m trying to keep us both safe.”

“Lexa—”

“I convinced you when I was here, didn’t I?” Lexa said, interrupting Clarke, her shoulders dropping slightly.  “I spent the evening with your friends then and Raven remained unaware of who I am.  As I said before, I observed you and your people before approaching you.  I know how I am expected to act.”

“Show me,” Clarke replied before she could think about what she was saying.

Lexa raised her eyebrow for a moment and Clarke knew she’d caught her off guard.  After a few seconds, though, Lexa stepped forward, putting one hand on Clarke’s waist.

“How should I show you?” Lexa asked.

Clarke was momentarily at a loss for words, which was exactly the type of thing they needed to avoid around Raven.  It was hard to act normal, though, when Lexa was standing so close to her.  Because even though they’d spent much of the past week alone together, Lexa still felt like a stranger in most ways.  A very attractive stranger.

“We need to appear comfortable around each other,” Clarke said once she regained her voice.  “I’m not saying we need to make out in front of Raven, but we do need to be able to appear like we’ve grown closer.  Like we trust each other.”

“Don’t worry,” Lexa replied.  “I will do my part, Clarke.”

“Can I ask you something?” Clarke said.

Lexa stared down at her before giving a barely-there nod.

“Why didn’t you pull your dagger on me the moment we came to my house?” Clarke wondered.  “Why take me to my bedroom and—” Clarke sighed and looked away from Lexa for a moment.  “What was the point?”

“I had to make sure we were alone,” Lexa replied.

“But why did you let me kiss you?” Clarke asked.  “You had plenty of time to do it before then.  You knew we were alone; you knew my father was out of town and my mother was at work.”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you more, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “If that’s what you’re asking.”

“I don’t exactly know what I’m asking,” Clarke said, taking a step away from Lexa, and shaking her head.  “I’m going to put this paint upstairs.”

Clarke turned away and began walking up the stairs, heading directly to her bedroom.  She walked over to her easel and set the two bottles of paint down with the others, glancing up at the unfinished painting.  Sighing, Clarke picked up the painting and flipped it around, setting it against the wall so she didn’t have to look at it.

“I let you kiss me because I enjoyed your company that evening, and for a moment I wasn’t thinking about my duty,” Lexa said, and Clarke looked over to find her standing in the doorway.  “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“Thank you,” Clarke replied.

“Why are you thanking me?” Lexa asked.

Clarke softly smiled.  “No reason.”

***

“Raven’s here,” Clarke said, quickly backing down a step so she wasn’t seen.

“You know what you need to do,” Lexa replied.

Clarke nodded and held out her hand, which Lexa just looked at.  “If we’re going to pretend we’re a couple, you should probably hold my hand.”

“I don’t understand the point,” Lexa said, taking Clarke’s hand, nevertheless.

“It’s—just something we do,” Clarke replied.  “I don’t really know why.  It’s just something people have always done.”

“I know,” Lexa said.  “I have read stories.  But I still don’t understand it.”

“C’mon,” Clarke said, squeezing Lexa’s hand.  “Prepare to experience some of our other strange customs.”

Clarke tugged on Lexa’s arm and the two walked the rest of the way up the stairs.  She paused for a moment at the top as if she was looking around for a place to sit before looking in Raven’s direction.  It only took a moment for Raven to spot them and wave them over.

“I was beginning to think you’d died,” Raven said as they approached.  “Or you were just having so much sex that you couldn’t bother to get out of bed.”

“Not quite,” Clarke replied with a smile.  “Although, I did feel like the flu was going to kill me once or twice.”

“Doc Griffin fix you up?” Raven asked.

Clarke nodded as she sat down while Lexa took the seat next to her.  “She would barely let me out of bed.”

Raven laughed.  “I would have gone crazy spending that much time at home, away from work.”

“Yes, well, you actually love your work,” Clarke replied.

“Damn right,” Raven said.  “It’s fun being able to fix things that everyone else says is impossible.”

“That’s because it inflates your ego,” Clarke joked.

“I don’t need my ego inflated,” Raven replied.  “I know I’m brilliant.”

“So, are you working on anything right now?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah, actually,” Raven replied.  “I’ve been helping Jake with some things he needed fixed.  He hasn’t really said what any of it’s for, but whatever it is, I think he’s close.”

“Why do you say that?” Clarke asked.

“Ever since he came back, he’s been giving me more and more work.  But then the other night he said things were almost there,” Raven answered.

“How close?” Clarke asked.

Raven shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I don’t even know what he’s doing in that room.”

“Room?” Clarke said, frowning.

“He didn’t tell you about that?” Raven asked.  “He’s been locked in this room down in these tunnels while he works.  No one else is allowed in there.  The only one who seems to have a key is the Chancellor.” Raven shook her head.  “It’s kind of weird, but you know how they get when you try asking questions.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said, glancing at Lexa.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t said anything to you about it,” Raven remarked.

“He doesn’t really talk about work much,” Clarke replied.  “Really, I haven’t talked to him about much lately.  He’s been so busy with work that I haven’t seen him a lot.”

“Do they know about this one?” Raven asked, smirking in Lexa’s direction.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied, smiling as she looked at Lexa.  “My mom figured it out the night of the festival.”

“I’m pretty sure she wasn’t the only one,” Raven said.  “Have you talked to Wells lately?”

“Not about that, no,” Clarke replied.

“You might want to,” Raven said.  “He hasn’t looked very happy this week.”

Clarke nodded.  “I will.”

“I hate to run, but the boss wants us back early,” Raven said, standing up.  “Apparently giving us our normal lunch will be the end of the world.  Later.”

“See you, Raven,” Clarke replied.

“By the way, your girlfriend is so quiet it’s creepy,” Raven said, grinning at her as she proceeded to walk backwards.

Lexa shot Raven a glare, which only made her laugh.  Clarke, however, just smiled and tried not to laugh herself.

“She’s right, you know?” Clarke said as Raven disappeared down the stairs.  “You could talk more.”

“I talk when it is necessary,” Lexa replied.  “Your people are too afraid of silence.”

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “If my people didn’t talk so much, we wouldn’t have just found out what we needed to know.”

“Yes,” Lexa agreed.  “It is to our advantage.”

“Besides, don’t you have any friends that you just talk with?” Clarke wondered.

“I have people I trust more than others, but I would not call them friends,” Lexa replied.  “Being the Commanders means being alone.  It is dangerous to become too attached to anyone.”

“For you or for them?” Clarke asked.

Lexa stared at her for a moment.  “Both.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said.  “I can’t imagine feeling that alone.”

“Don’t be, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “There are more important things in this world.”

Clarke nodded, knowing Lexa was done talking about it.  “So, what do you think we should do now?”

***

“You’re not supposed to be down here.”

Clarke looked at the guard, whose name she didn’t know, and gave him a smile.  “I’m looking for my father.  Someone told me I could find him down here.  Jake Griffin?”

“He’s working,” the guard replied.

“I know, but if I could just see him for a second—”

“No one is allowed in,” he interrupted.

“Not even his daughter?” Clarke asked

The guard shook his head and said, “Not even his daughter.”

Clarke sighed and looked toward the room the man had been guarding.  There was a second guard standing in front of it and she was about to ask him in the hopes that she could get him to bend the rules, but he shook his head before she could even ask.

“I’m going to have to escort you out,” the first guard said.

“It’s okay,” Clarke replied.  “I found my way down; I can find my way back.”

Clarke turned on her heel and began walking down the tunnel, looking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t being followed.  There wasn’t anything else she could really do to get in to see her father—the room was too well guarded—but did slow her pace and look around as good as she could without being too obvious.  If this was where everything was happening, she knew they needed to learn about it was much as possible.

When the tunnel split in two, she knew she needed to go left to exit, but she quickly took the right one when she heard a drilling sound echoing down the tunnel.  The tunnel was mostly dark, with barely enough candles to illuminate her path.  As she got closer to the end of the tunnel, the drilling sound grew louder, and she eventually found herself outside a door that stood ajar.  She didn’t dare push it open wider in case someone was paying attention to the door, doing her best to look through the crack without moving the door.  When she heard footsteps, though, she quickly moved away and began walking back the way she came.

“Hey.  What are you doing down here?”

Clarke stopped in her tracks and turned around.  Unlike the guards who had stopped her from talking to her father, she recognized this man.  She’d seen him around and had heard plenty of stories from Raven about her boss, Sinclair.

“Sorry,” Clarke replied.  “I was trying to see my father and took a wrong turn on the way out.  I guess I was supposed to take a left instead of a right.”

Sinclair nodded.  “Yeah. Do you think you got it from here?”

“Yes, thanks,” Clarke said, giving him a smile.

Clarke turned around and quickly made her way out of the tunnels.  When she finally walked out into the daylight, she looked around for Lexa, but she wasn’t where she was when Clarke had left her.  Frowning, Clarke walked over to where they were supposed to meet, her heart beginning to pick up speed until she heard Bellamy’s voice.

“Yeah, Clarke can be stubborn.”

“I’ve noticed,” Lexa replied.

“I am not stubborn,” Clarke stated.

“Whatever you say, Princess,” Bellamy replied. 

“What are you two talking about?” Clarke asked.

“I thought I’d get to know your _friend_ here,” Bellamy answered.

“Bellamy was telling me about what you were like when you were younger,” Lexa replied.

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “Don’t listen to anything he says.”

“But the one about you trying to start a fire in your survival skills class was quite funny,” Lexa said.

“Especially that one,” Clarke replied, shooting a glare Bellamy’s way.

Bellamy laughed.  “She was bound to hear it from someone.”

“Yes, well, we’ll be going now,” Clarke said, looping her arm around Lexa’s.

“Find me anytime you want to hear more stories about Clarke,” Bellamy said with a wink.  “I have plenty of them.”

“I will do that,” Lexa replied.

“No, she won’t,” Clarke said as she pulled Lexa away.

“Did you really almost burn a building down?” Lexa asked.

“He’s exaggerating,” Clarke replied.

“It is a good thing I didn’t let you try to start the fire that night,” Lexa said.  “You may have burned down the whole forest.”

“Do you want to know what I saw down there or not?” Clarke asked, ignore the gibe.

“What did you see, Clarke?” Lexa asked, pulling them both to a stop.

“They wouldn’t let me see my father, so I decided to try going down one of the tunnels we didn’t go down yesterday,” Clarke stated.

“And?” Lexa asked.

“They’re running wires through the pipes in the ceiling,” Clarke said.  “From the looks of it, they run into the room my father is in.  I think we’re going to have to get that key and find a way past the guards if we want to know what’s in there.”

“Don’t worry, Clarke,” Lexa said, a slight smirk appearing on her face.  “The guards should not pose much of a problem for me.”

“And luckily for us, my best friend happens to be the Chancellor’s son,” Clarke replied.


	10. Captured

Clarke took a deep breath and slowly released it before knocking on the door in front of her.  She didn’t know what type of welcome she was about to receive, and for the first time in her life, she was sort of hoping her best friend wouldn’t open his door.  After a few seconds, though, she heard movement on the other side of the door and she knew she was going to have to face him sooner rather than later.

Clarke knew it would be better to see Wells by herself, so she had made Lexa go back to her house to wait in her bedroom.  Lexa hadn’t been thrilled with the idea of Clarke going anywhere alone, but she’d agreed that it was for the best if she wasn’t seen at the Chancellor’s home.  Neither of them wanted to risk Jaha realizing Lexa didn’t belong in Arkadia, and beyond that, Clarke knew it would be better if she spoke to her friend alone.  Her friend who had opened the door and was staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

“You’re back,” he said after several tense moments.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied.

She stood there awkwardly, wondering whether or not Walls was going to let her in or close the door in her face.  A few seconds later, though, he took a step to the side, and she took it as her invitation to enter.  As she walked toward the center of the room, she heard the door close behind her, and she was thankful for the privacy.  The last thing she needed was for one of the staff—or worse, the Chancellor—to overhear that she’d been missing from Arkadia for a week.

“Bellamy told me you were here yesterday,” Wells stated.  “I was wondering if you were ever going to come around.”

“I, uh—” Clarke shook her head.  “I was afraid you were mad at me.”

It wasn’t a lie.  Ever since her mom had told her that Wells knew she had left, she was afraid of what he would say.  It would have been a lot easier if he thought she’d had the flu like everyone else believed.  Instead, he thought she’d run away with Lexa, which was going to bring a lot more questions than if he thought she’d simply spent her week being ill.

“Why would I be mad?” Wells asked.  “Just because you left without telling anyone?”

Clarke sighed.  “I know it was stupid.”

“Yes, it was,” Wells replied.  “Do you know how worried your mom was?  She was afraid you were dead.  She looked everywhere she could for you.  And I had to be the one to bring up that you may have left with that girl.  Do you know how much that hurt her?  That you would’ve just left your family like that?”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said with complete sincerity.  “I hope you believe me.  I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

“Was I right?” Wells asked.  “Were you with that girl?  What was her name?”

“Lexa,” Clarke quietly answered.

“You were, weren’t you?” Wells said.

Clarke sighed and looked down.  She wished she could tell him that it was more complicated than he could possibly realize, but she couldn’t risk it.  While she didn’t think he would go to his father about it, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t tell someone else.  Like her parents.

“I’m going to take your silence as a yes,” Wells said after a long moment.  “Was she worth it at least?”

“She’s—” Clarke shook her head, not knowing how to answer his question.  “It’s complicated.”

“Did she come back with you?” Wells asked.

Clarke nodded before adding a quiet, “Yes.”

“Then I guess it’s not too complicated,” Wells replied. 

Wells didn’t look angry, but she could see the hurt in her friend’s eyes.  She knew part of it was probably because of his feelings for her, but she could tell that wasn’t the only reason.  Like her parents, she knew she’d hurt him by just leaving.  And there was nothing she could say to make it better.  She couldn’t tell them she had left against her will; she had to let them believe she had left of her own accord even if it hurt them.

“So, where’d you go?” Wells asked.

“She took me to her home,” Clarke answered honestly.

Wells nodded.  “Are you still going to come tonight or are you going to skip it to be with her?”

Clarke furrowed her brows in confusion.  “Am I still going to come where?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten,” Wells replied.  “My father’s birthday?  The masquerade ball?”

Clarke nodded, her eyes widening in realization.  “Right.”

“You’re still coming, right?” Wells asked.  “You come every year.”

“Yeah,” Clarke replied, her heart suddenly picking up pace.  “I’ll be there.”

***

“Lexa!” Clarke said, plopping down across from the Commander, a smile on her face.

“Clarke?” Lexa questioned, her eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly.  “Am I to assume it went well with your friend?”

“Better,” Clarke answered.  “Well—he kept giving me the same hurt look my mom keeps giving me, but that’s not why it went well.  I forgot that today is the Chancellor’s birthday.”

“And this pleases you?” Lexa asked, clearly confused.

“Chancellor Jaha always throws a masquerade ball the night of his birthday,” Clarke said.  “At his house, where he will be preoccupied with dozens of other people.  It’ll be the perfect opportunity to look for the key.  And I’m sure we’ll be able to sneak you in; everyone wears masks, so no one will even know who you are.  They’ll never realize you’re crashing the ball.  It’s perfect.”

“We cannot search the entire house in one night,” Lexa remarked.

“I know, but I also know where it may be,” Clarke replied.  “It’ll probably be in his office.  He has a safe in there.”

“And how do you propose we get into this safe?” Lexa asked.

“When we were sixteen, I talked Wells into breaking into it,” Clarke said with a slight smirk.  “It’s where his father kept the alcohol.  Wells knew the combination and I just so happen to remember it.”

“And if he has it in his possession?” Lexa said.

“That sounds more like a job for you,” Clarke replied.

Lexa nodded.  “It is—not a terrible idea.”

“It’s a great plan,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes.

“Going in and hoping we don’t get caught is not a plan,” Lexa stated.  “We will come up with one, though.”

“First, we need to come up with an outfit,” Clarke said, standing up.

“I hardly think that’s more important, Clarke,” Lexa argued.

“It is if you don’t want to stand out,” Clarke replied.  “It’s mostly people from the Ark, and everyone uses the ball to show off.  Everyone wants to look like they’re the wealthiest, so they try to top the others.”

“Is that what you do?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head.  “I don’t care about the social politics here and neither do my parents.  Everyone in the Ark is expected to attend,  
though.  If we didn’t, it would look like we were insulting the Chancellor.”

Lexa nodded.  “I can understand.  Polis is very similar.  Accidentally insulting a clan leader can have deadly consequences.  And if I happened to be the one who made such a slight, it could end the Coalition and bring about war for my people.”

“That must be stressful,” Clarke commented.

“It is just part of my duty as Heda,” Lexa replied.

“Well, tonight all you have to do is put on a dress and pretend to be an Arkadian,” Clarke said.  “You can leave the politics up to me.”

“And where are we going to get this dress?” Lexa asked.

“I may know someone who has one,” Clarke replied.  “Every year there’s a lottery for the masquerade ball.  They put everyone’s name in and draw a few of them.  They’re the only people outside of the Ark who get to attend.  Last year, Raven was chosen.” Clarke smiled at the memory.  “She hated every moment of it, but she couldn’t refuse the invitation.  She may still have her dress.  And if I know Raven, she will love the idea of you sneaking in to be with me.”

“And you trust her not to tell anyone?” Lexa asked.

“I trust that she wants me with you,” Clarke replied.

Lexa nodded.  “Because you’re interested in her boyfriend.”

“I—was,” Clarke replied.  “But it didn’t matter.  He’s been with Raven for years, and I’m not the type to go after a guy who has a girlfriend.  Especially not when she’s my friend.”

“He likes you too,” Lexa said.  “I saw how he was looking at you while you were at the festival.  And how he was looking at you when you were speaking to him yesterday.”

“Like I said, it doesn’t matter,” Clarke replied.  “It’s never going to happen.  Even if they were to break up, I know how hard it would be on Raven if I were to date him, and I’m not going to do that to her.”

“You’re a good friend,” Lexa said.

Clarke gave a light shrug.  “C’mon.  We should see if we can find Raven.  The ball starts just after dusk and it will take a while to get ready.  And we can work on a plan since you say going in there and hoping we don’t get caught isn’t one.” She paused when she noticed the look on Lexa’s face.  “You already have one, don’t you?”

Lexa nodded as she stood up from Clarke’s bed with an almost undetectable smirk on her face.  “I have a few ideas.”

***

“Good evening, Abby.” The Chancellor turned his eyes from the older woman to look at Clarke with a nod.  “Clarke.  I’m sorry Jake couldn’t make it.”

“You know how it is trying to get him away from work,” Abby replied.

Chancellor Jaha laughed.  “That I do.  I hope you two have a pleasant evening.”

“Thank you,” Abby replied.

Clarke gave him a smile and thanks of her own, dropping the smile the moment she turned away.  It was the first time she had to come face to face with him since coming back to Arkadia, and now that she was there, she didn’t know how she couldn’t see it before.  She realized he wasn’t the Thelonious Jaha she had originally met.  The man she had met had a spark in his eyes that was no longer there.  When he smiled at her, it was no longer genuine like it had once been, and she couldn’t remember when that had stopped.

“I see Wells,” Clarke announced.  “I’m going to go say hi.”

“Be good,” Abby replied.

“Mom, I’m eighteen,” Clarke said.  “I’m not a child anymore.  You don’t have to tell me to be good.”

“Recent events would suggest otherwise,” Abby replied.  “Behave yourself.”

“I will,” Clarke lied.

With one last glance at her mom, Clarke walked across the large room, hoping to get lost in the crowd.  She looked over her shoulder as she neared the far end of the ballroom to make sure her mom wasn’t watching her.  When she saw that her mom was talking to Marcus Kane, she quickly slipped up the stairs and began walking down the empty hallway.

The second floor was off limits to most people during the ball, so Clarke knew there would be no one around to see her.  It was a risk for her to be there, but it was less of a risk than trying to get Lexa in through the ground floor.  Plus, if anyone saw her, she could always say she was looking for Wells.  Everyone knew they were best friends and no one would think it was odd if she was looking for him.

“Lexa?” Clarke harshly whispered once she had the window at the end of the hallway open.

She stuck her head out the window, looking toward the balcony where Lexa was supposed to be.  She quickly had to jump back, though, when Lexa nearly collided with her as she leapt across to the window.

“Damn, Lexa,” Clarke said.

Lexa gave her a small smile before putting her mask into place. “I told you a dress would not stop me, Clarke.”

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” Clarke replied.

Clarke looked Lexa up and down for a moment and then adjusted the strap that had fallen down her shoulder.  Thankfully, the dress fit her almost perfectly, and Raven had given it to them without hesitation.  As Clarke figured, Raven was happy to hand it over the moment she found out they were sneaking Lexa into the ball.  And it was a bonus that Lexa happened to look stunning.  The dark red color went perfectly with her dark hair and tanned skin, and her toned arms were on full display in the sleeveless dress.

“We should go down separately,” Lexa stated.

Clarke nodded.  “Agreed.  You should go down first.  Turn right at the end of the hallway; it’ll take you down the stairs, into the ballroom.”

“I’ll see you downstairs, Clarke,” Lexa said.

With that, Lexa walked down the hallway and Clarke turned around, closing the window.  When she turned back around, Wells was standing at the end of the hall, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Wells—how long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to see you sneaking your girlfriend in,” Wells said as she walked toward him.

Clarke looked down with a light sigh.  “Wells—”

“It’s okay, Clarke,” Wells interrupted with a shrug.  “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“I just wanted to be able to spend the evening with her,” Clarke said.  “I don’t know how long she’s going to be here, and this may be the only opportunity I have to dance with her.”

“It’s fine,” Wells replied, giving her a smile.  “Really.  I get it.  It was the perfect chance, right?  No one would be able to recognize her when everyone’s wearing masks.”

Clarke nodded.  “Thanks for not telling anyone.”

“We’re friends,” Wells said.  “I wouldn’t do that to you.  Just like I won’t tell anyone about where you really were.”

Clarke smiled and gave him a quick hug.  “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you get down there and start dancing with your girlfriend,” Wells said when she pulled away.  “You’re wasting time up here with me.”

“You’re right,” Clarke said, giving him another smile, and nudging him.  “I’ll be sure to save a dance for you, though.”

“You better,” Wells replied.

***

“Excuse me,” Clarke said, giving the councilwoman a smile.  “I see someone I promised a dance to.”

Clarke nodded to the other two woman and then hurriedly walked away from the group.  She had been bombarded by a friend of her mother’s the moment she’d walked down the stairs and she’d found it hard to get away.  With the arrival of the councilwoman, though, the other two had suddenly become more interested in her than Clarke, so she had seized the opportunity to escape.

“Would you like to dance,” Clarke said, grabbing Lexa’s hand before she could answer.

“Are you okay, Clarke?” Lexa asked as Clarke wrapped her arm around the brunette’s waist.

“I’m fine,” Clarke replied.  “I just needed to get away from them or I was going to fall asleep.”

Clarke noticed Lexa looking around at the other dancing couples as she stood completely still in front of her.  For the first time since meeting her, she could see uncertainty in Lexa’s eyes.

“You don’t know how to dance, do you?” Clarke asked.

“I have never danced like the people here do, no,” Lexa replied.

“I’ll lead; you just have to follow,” Clarke said, smiling.  “Which I’m sure is hard for the Commander of thousands of people to do.”

“I can follow when it is necessary,” Lexa replied.  “Thankfully, I am an expert at most things, so it is rarely necessary.”

Clarke laughed as she began moving to the music the live band was playing.  “Well, you’re clearly an expert at being humble.”

“You’re mocking me,” Lexa stated.

“I’m teasing you,” Clarke replied.  “There’s a difference.”

“If one of my people were to tease me the way you do, they would lose their tongue,” Lexa said.

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m not one of your people,” Clarke replied with a slight smirk.

Clarke didn’t know if Lexa was actually telling the truth or not, but she didn’t exactly look angry.  On the contrary, Clarke actually thought she saw a glint of amusement in Lexa’s eyes.

“Wells knows you’re here,” Clarke said when she spotted her friend near the refreshments.

She felt Lexa stiffen in her arms and she instantly knew she was going to regret telling her.

“Where is your friend now?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded toward the side of the room.  “He’s over there, but—Lexa!”

The Commander had turned and was already walking toward Wells, but Clarke grabbed her arm and did her best to hold her in place.

“He isn’t going to tell anyone,” Clarke quickly said.  “He promised he wouldn’t.  He thinks you’re just here because we wanted to be together.”

“And you’re going to risk everything on his word?” Lexa asked.

“He’s my best friend and I trust him,” Clarke said, taking a step toward her so she and Lexa were practically nose to nose.

“I do not,” Lexa replied.

“Then trust me,” Clarke said.

“You put a lot of faith in others,” Lexa replied.  “Maybe too much.”

“Wells and I have been friends since we were little kids,” Clarke said, letting go of Lexa’s arms, and putting her hands around her waist again.  “He knows me better than anyone else because he’s always kept my secrets.  He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, and he knows getting you arrested would do that.”

“Okay, Clarke, we will do things your way,” Lexa replied.  “But if I think he’s about to tell anyone, I will kill him.”

“You’re not killing Wells,” Clarke firmly said.

“I will do anything to stop our world from ending, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “One person’s life is not worth the lives of everyone else.”

“And if it was me?” Clarke asked.  “Would you kill me too?”

Lexa looked into her eyes for several moments.  “Let’s hope it does not come to that.”

Clarke nodded; she knew what Lexa’s answer was going to be before she even asked.  Logically, she knew Lexa was right—one persons’s life was not worth the possible destruction of the human race—but she couldn’t say it didn’t sting a little.

“Did you have a chance to check out the Chancellor’s office?” Clarke quietly asked.

Lexa nodded.  “There were no guards posted and the door is now unlocked.  You should be able to enter without any trouble.”

As Lexa spoke, Clarke’s eyes drifted toward the entrance and she froze in place with a frown.  “What is he doing here?”

“Who is here?” Lexa asked back.

“My dad,” Clarke said, glancing up at Lexa before looking at her father again.  “He said he was going to be at work all night.”

“It does not change anything,” Lexa replied.

Clarke nodded.  “I know.  I just—never mind.  I’ll head to the other wing when I think the coast is clear.”

“Give me the signal when you are going to go,” Lexa said, pulling Clarke closer.

***

Clarke nodded to Lexa and raised her glass as if she was simply acknowledging her.  When Lexa nodded back, Clarke gave her glass to one of the people serving at the party and turned on her heel, walking toward the exit.  The Chancellor was ready to give his speech and her parents and Wells were all preoccupied.  She doubted they would be likely to notice she had left, and she hoped everyone else would be too busy listening to the speech to catch her in the Chancellor’s office.

“Having fun, Princess?”

Clarke stopped at the sound of Bellamy’s voice and plastered on a smile as she turned to him.  “Yeah.  Too much wine, though.”

Bellamy nodded.  “I wish I could drink tonight.”

“Maybe you can get Octavia to sneak you some,” Clarke suggested.

“The thought crossed my mind,” Bellamy replied.

“I better get to the restroom before the speech starts,” Clarke said, glancing toward the ballroom.  “If I don’t see Octavia tonight, tell her I said hi.”

“I will,” Bellamy replied.

Clarke looked over her shoulder as she began walking through the large foyer.  Thankfully, Bellamy was facing the front door, so he didn’t notice when she passed by the bathroom and began making her way to the other side of the house.  With one more glance toward the guard, she ducked under the rope and walked down the corridor to the Chancellor’s office at the end.

“Hello? Wells?” Clarke asked as she opened the door.  “Are you in here?”

As soon as she saw the room was empty, she dropped the charade and quickly walked in, closing the door behind her.  She wasted no time going over to the bookshelf and looking around for the book she once saw Wells pull.  Unfortunately, that had been two years ago, so it took her several tries to find the correct one.  As soon as she heard the click, though, she knew she had finally chosen the right one. A second later, the section of the bookshelf moved forward, and she took a step back, opening it wider to reveal the safe inside the wall.  But as she began entering the combination, she saw the door slowly open out of the corner of her, and she looked over, feeling like her heart had stopped in her chest.

“Dad,” Clarke whispered.

“What are you doing in here, Clarke?” he asked.

“I—Wells and I were going to sneak out of the party,” Clarke lied.  “We thought we would grab a bottle of alcohol first, so he told me the combination to where his dad keeps it.  I’m sorry.  Please don’t get us in trouble.”

Her father’s expression was blank.  Unreadable.  Her heart no longer felt like it was stopped; instead, it was beating wildly in her chest as she waited for him to say something—anything—that would show he was still her father.

“Guards!” Jake called out.  “Someone has broken into the Chancellor’s office!”

“Dad, please,” Clarke begged.

She heard the sound of boots and she knew the guards were running down the hall.  She was caught and there was nothing she could do about it.  The guards would be there before she would ever be able to get the window open and her father was blocking the only exit.  Even if she did manage to make it past him, she would be running straight toward the guards.

“Who is—” Bellamy froze when he saw Clarke.

“Arrest her,” Jake said.

“Sir—”

“She was breaking into the safe,” Jake interrupted.

She could see how torn Bellamy was, but he couldn’t exactly argue when she was caught red handed.  The other guard, Miller, was the first to move, but Bellamy put his hand on his shoulder, stopping him.  For a moment, Clarke thought he was going to somehow save her, but then he pulled his handcuffs out and walked over to her, pulling her hands behind her back.

“What are you doing, Clarke?” he mumbled as he cuffed her.

Clarke could only shake her head; if they were alone, maybe she could try to plead with him to release her, but she couldn’t do it with the others there.

“Why would your dad turn you in?” Bellamy whispered behind her as they all began making their way down the corridor.

“Because he’s not him anymore,” Clarke found herself answering.

“Did you have that other girl try to stop him?” Bellamy asked.

Clarke looked over her shoulder.  “What do mean?”

“A girl tried to stop your dad from coming down here,” Bellamy replied.  “Monroe was hit with a dagger when she got in her way and Miller got punched in the face when he tackled her.  It was that girlfriend of yours, wasn’t it?”

Clarke didn’t answer as Bellamy walked her through the foyer.  Instead, she looked across the room at her mom and Wells, who were standing side by side with matching looks of shock and worry on their faces.


	11. Escape

Clarke heard the scraping of metal against the floor and froze.  It wasn’t the first time she’d heard someone nearby, but she had yet to see anyone.  Not since they threw her in the cell.

She knew it was almost morning.  The sky outside her window was growing lighter and the sun was about to peak over the horizon.  Judging by that, she knew she had been in the jail cell for at least eight or nine hours.  It felt like a lot longer, though, when the only company she had were her thoughts.

She kept going back to the blank look on her father’s face and she knew he was no longer there.  He looked like her father, but he certainly didn’t act like it.  The Jake Griffin she knew would have done anything for her, including taking the fall if she’d been caught.  The last thing he would have done was turn her in.  Especially not when it could mean her death.

The one small comfort was that she hadn’t seen Lexa since the masquerade ball.  She had no idea what had happened to her, but she knew if she’d been caught then she was be in one of the other cells.  Clarke was alone, though; no one had come into the hall since they’d left her in the small cell at the back.

Clarke had briefly wondered if they would even bring Lexa to the jail if they caught her—or worse—but she’d decided to focus on other things.  She’d seen Lexa in action and she knew the Commander could take care of herself.  She hoped Lexa had seen that it would be impossible to save Clarke and had escaped to come up with a new plan.  Which was very likely since Bellamy had asked if the other girl at the party was Lexa, so they clearly hadn’t stopped her long enough to unmask her.

With a sigh, Clarke turned and looked out the window.  She wasn’t usually one to be claustrophobic, but the small room was beginning to get to her, and looking out the window seemed to help.  Even if she could only see the sky and nothing else since the room was on the second floor and the window was well over her head.

Once again, Clarke heard the sound of something scraping, but this time, it was closer.  When she turned around, she quickly walked over to the small window in the door and looked into the hallway.

“Hey!” Clarke said to the guard.  “Please, this was all just a mistake!”

“Shut up,” the guard replied.

Clarke sighed.  “Has my mom come by?  Can I see her?”

“Five minutes,” the guard called out.

“What?” Clarke asked, frowning.

The guard turned and began walking away, leaving Clarke confused until someone else appeared at the end of the hall.  Clarke let out a relieved sigh, never happier to see Wells in her life.

“Thank you,” Wells said, and Clarke noticed him slipping the guard something.

“Five minutes,” the guard repeated.

“Wells!” Clarke said the moment the door was close behind him.

“Clarke,” Wells said, rushing toward her cell door.  “Are you okay?”

“No, I am not okay,” Clarke replied.  “I’m in jail; do you know what they’re probably going to do to me?”

“I need to know—what were you doing in my father’s office?” Wells stated.  “I overheard him and the Council talking after they took you away.  He was talking about treason.  What were you doing, Clarke.”

“It’s complicated,” Clarke said, shaking her head.  “Can you just trust me that I was doing the right thing?  You know me, Wells.  You know I would never do anything to hurt anyone.  Please trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Wells replied.

“Did they—did they catch anyone else?” Clarke hesitantly asked.

“Just you,” Wells said with a shake of his head.  “Not for a lack of trying, though.  Monroe had to have surgery and I heard Miller’s nose was broken.  Rumor is they found Murphy unconscious, but I didn’t see it like the other two.” Wells paused.  “It was that girl, wasn’t it?  I thought it was weird that she just seemed to show up outta nowhere and then you ran off with her.”

“Time’s up!”

“That wasn’t five minutes!” Wells replied over his shoulder.

“I don’t care,” the guard said.

“There’s nothing I can do right now, Clarke,” Wells said, turning to look at her.  “But when the sun goes down, get away from the window.”

“What?” Clarke asked, furrowing her brows.

“The window,” Wells repeated.  “Step away from it when the sun’s down.  Do you understand?”

“Thank you.” Clarke nodded even though she had no idea what Wells was planning.  “Just don’t get in any trouble for me.”

“I’ll do my best,” Wells said, giving her a smile.

***

The sun was down and Clarke kept glancing toward the window, waiting for something, anything, to happen.  It had been dark for at least an hour and she was standing as far away from the window as she could get, but she still had no idea what she was waiting for.  She would do as Wells told her, though, even if she had to stand there all night.

Sighing, Clarke leaned her back against the wall.  She was exhausted, having barely gotten any sleep since being put into the jail.  There was nothing to even sit down on in the small room, much less sleep on, though.  She’d done her best to sleep while sitting upright, but the cold, stone floor didn’t make it easy.

Just as Clarke rested her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, she heard a soft thump.  Her eyes flew open and she stood up straight, her gaze fixed on the window.  She wanted to call out, but resisted; the last thing she needed was for one of the guards to come in.  If Wells was there to somehow get her out, the least she could do was be patient and not do anything that could patiently get him caught.

“Clarke.”

“Lexa?  How are you—” Clarke took a step forward and shook her head.  Lexa was just outside the window despite the fact that her jail cell was on the second floor of the prison.

“Fighting is not my only skill, Clarke,” Lexa said.  “There’s a reason my clan is called the Trikru.”

“So you just climbed up here?” Clarke asked, walking toward the window.

“It was not difficult,” Lexa replied.

“Is this why Wells told me to stand away from the window?” Clarke asked.  “Are you two working together?”

“Your friends—have been an asset,” Lexa replied, sounding as if it pained her to admit it.

“Friends?” Clarke said.  “Plural?”

“Stand back, Clarke,” Lexa said, ignoring Clarke’s question.

Clarke did as she was told, stepping over to the door to block the view of anyone who may walk into the hall.  She knew it wasn’t likely unless they heard some sort of commotion—they had only been in there a few times to check on her—but she figured better safe than sorry.

“What are you going to do?” Clarke asked.

“I have been assured this will melt the bars,” Lexa said.

Clarke frowned as Lexa’s right hand released its grip on bars and she looked down, nodding.  Clarke heard a slight grunt and Lexa appeared to be jostled by something.  Clarke took a step forward, worried that Lexa was going to fall, but she remained where she was.

As Lexa took whatever was in her hand to the bars, Clarke looked over her shoulder.  Sparks were flying as Lexa began cutting through the bars, and It was making more noise than Clarke would like.  She was afraid someone was going to check on her or worse—that someone would catch Lexa and whoever was helping her.

“I’m almost done,” Lexa finally said after what felt like an eternity.

A few moments later, the bar Lexa had been working on fell from sight and she heard it clink against the ground.  Lexa remained holding on to the only remaining bar.

“Uh, Lexa?” Clarke questioned.

“Yes, Clarke?” Lexa replied.

“How the hell am I going to climb down?” Clarke asked.

“With my assistance,” Lexa replied.  “I won’t let you fall.  And if you do, it’s not that far.”

Clarke scoffed.  “Not far?”

“It’s not as if you will die,” Lexa said.

“I think I liked you better when you said less,” Clarke remarked.

“Come on, Clarke,” Lexa said with a slight smile.  “We don’t have all day.”

Clarke walked over to the window and wondered how she was even going to get up to it to climb through.  Her question was answered, though, when Lexa put her arm through the opening and offered her hand to Clarke.

After a moment’s hesitation, Clarke grabbed Lexa’s wrist while Lexa firmly grasped hers.  The brunette pulled her and Clarke tried to get her footing on the stone wall, but it was easier said than done.  They failed several times until Clarke managed to place her foot on one of the stones that was slightly broken in one corner and she was able to lift herself up higher.

“Okay, this is high,” Clarke said when she was finally able to see down.

“You guys need to hurry! Finn’s signaling.”

“Finn?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” Lexa said.  “He was the one who gave us this device to remove the bars.”

Clarke shook her head.  “Whoever thought the three of you would be working together.”

“If you turn around, you’ll be able to make it down better,” Wells loudly whispered.  “Finn, get back to your post.”

“Here,” Finn said, ignoring Wells, and throwing something toward Lexa.  “I stole it from outside one of the houses.  Tie the rope to the bar you’re holding onto and—”

“Yes,” Lexa interrupted, already having begun securing the rope.  “I know.” She turned to look at Clarke, the annoyed look in her eyes disappearing.  “I’ll be right here with you, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded and took a deep breath, looking down, and then quickly facing Lexa again.  “I shouldn’t have looked.”

***

Clarke couldn’t stop looking over her shoulder as they weaved their way through the alleyways, doing their best to remain hidden.  Her getting out had seemed too easy and she was expecting things to go south at any moment.  To hear the town alarms, signaling that someone had discovered her escape.  But the alleys and roads were quiet, most of the people in their homes for the night.  The only sounds she could hear were their footsteps and the occasional shout coming from the direction of the pub.

“Almost there,” Wells whispered before holding out his hand to stop Clarke.  “I thought I just saw something.”

“Yeah, a cat,” Finn replied.

“Where are we going?” Clarke asked.  “I can’t exactly go home.”

“You’re not going home,” Wells replied.  “You’re going to Finn’s.”

Clarke glanced at Lexa, who had been quiet since they set off from the jail.  Clarke knew she was on guard, listening and looking for any sign of danger.  Part of her expected Lexa to contradict Wells’s statement, though.  She couldn’t imagine Lexa being happy with hiding at Finn’s house—with trusting him and Wells—but Lexa said nothing.

It only took them a few more minutes to get to Finn’s house.  The entire journey had taken three times as long as it should, but they were constantly stopping to look around corners and avoiding the main route through town.

“Shit, where’d I put my keys,” Finn said as he felt around his pants and jacket.

“I need to get home before my dad realizes I’m gone,” Wells said, putting his hand on Clarke’s arm, and pulling her toward him.

“Got ‘em,” Finn said beside them.

“You don’t want an explanation for all this?” Clarke asked.

“I expect one the next time I see you,” Wells replied.

Clarke quickly leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her friend.  “Thank you for everything.”

“Be safe, Clarke,” Wells replied when she pulled away.

“Wait, Wells!” Clarke harshly whispered as he began walking away.  “Watch out for your father.  I’ll tell you everything later, but—you can’t trust him.  Or my dad.  They’re—” Clarke shook her head.  “Just be careful around them, okay?”

Wells frowned but nodded, nonetheless.  When she turned away from them, Finn had the door open and Lexa was waiting for her while Finn had already disappeared inside.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke found herself saying.  “This is all my fault.”

“It is not your fault, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “If it is anyone’s, it is mine.”

Clarke shook her head, but before she could say anything, Lexa was saying, “We need to get inside.  It is only a matter of time before they realize you’re gone and come looking for you.”

Knowing Lexa was right, Clarke headed into Finn’s house.  Once they were both inside, Finn closed the door behind them and locked it before walking around the small room to pull the shutters closed.

“Are your parents home?” Clarke asked, looking over at Finn as she rubbed her hands up and down her cold arms.

Finn shook his head.  “My mom’s working all night.  You’ll be safe here; no one will see you.”

“What about your dad?” Clarke asked.

“He doesn’t live here anymore,” Finn said, walking away and into the other room.

“Oh,” Clarke whispered to herself.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, gaining her attention.  “I need you to tell me everything that happened.  Did they question you?  Did you tell them anything?”

Clarke shook her head.  “I thought they would, but they just threw me in there and left me.  A guard would come around a few times a day, but other than that, I didn’t see anyone.  I thought it was strange, but I eventually figured maybe they were just trying to make me as miserable as possible before interrogating me.  They never gave me any food and it was hard to get much sleep on a cold, hard floor.  I was lucky one of the guards even gave me water; I don’t know if he was supposed to.  He looked hesitant when he did it.” Clarke paused for a moment.  “And even if they had, I wouldn’t have told them anything.  You can trust me, Lexa.  Even if I did screw up.”

Lexa opened her mouth but quickly closed it, her eyes snapping toward the door.  Clarke wondered what had caught Lexa’s attention until she heard the sound of footsteps.  And it didn’t just sound like one person; it sounded like there were multiple people running past Finn’s house.

“Go up to my room,” Finn said, walking back into the room.  “It’s the first one on the right.  There’s a small door at the back of my closet that goes to the stairs up to the attic.  Go now.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said before grabbing Lexa’s hand and pulling her toward the stairs.

***

“Someone is here,” Lexa said. 

The sound of a door closing was evident and Clarke tensed at the noise.  There was a tiny window in the room, but she was too afraid of someone seeing her to risk looking out.  She was curious to know what was going on outside, though; there had been no warning alarms, but she was beginning to think maybe none would sound.  That the Chancellor wouldn’t want to give her the warning.

“I think that’s just Raven,” Clarke said, her shoulders relaxing when she heard the other woman’s voice.

“Do you think Finn will tell her?” Lexa asked.

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied.  “But if he does, I don’t think she’ll tell anyone.  Raven isn’t the type to betray the people she knows.  And if she told, it wouldn’t just be me who was in trouble.  It would be Wells and Finn, too.  Even if she would do that to me, she’d never do that to Finn.”

“You’re putting a lot of faith in your friends,” Lexa commented.

“I don’t really have a lot of choice right now, do I?” Clarke asked.

“You have a choice,” Lexa stated.  “We could leave and I could gather an army.”

Clarke shook her head.  “I’m not going to let you kill everyone I care about.  Maybe it would be easier; I’m sure you could just come in and wipe everyone out within a day, but if you and your people are willing to do that, maybe you don’t deserve to live.”

“I have to make hard choices, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “And sometimes that means I have to sacrifice people to save others.”

“But this isn’t your people you’re talking about sacrificing,” Clarke counted.  “They’re mine.”

“I know,” Lexa replied.  “Regardless, I don’t take their deaths lightly.  If I did, this village would not be standing right now.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, look at my friends as my army,” Clarke said with a wry smile.  “And speaking of my friends,  how did you end up with Wells and Finn, anyway?  I can’t imagine you going to them for help.”

“After the guards grabbed you, I knew there was nothing I could do,” Lexa said.  “Not then, at least.  Not when they were searching for me.  I had to leave the ball or I may have been caught as well.  I was passing through the market when I ran into Finn.”

“How did he end up helping us?” Clarke wondered.

“Some of the guards must have followed me,” Lexa said.  “Or perhaps they were just lucky.  Your friend, Bellamy, was with them; I believe he saw me, but he did not tell the rest.  Finn overheard them talking about what you did and that they were looking for me.  He asked how he could help.”

“So you let him?” Clarke asked, finding it a little hard to believe that Lexa would want Finn’s help.

“Not exactly,” Lexa replied.  “He told me he would call for the guards if I didn’t tell him what was going on.  I told him he would be dead before he could get the first word out.”

Clarke laughed lightly.  “That sounds more like it.”

“He then promised he could help get you out, so I decided to let him live and see if he could be of use,” Lexa continued.

“And Wells?” Clarke asked.

“It was Finn’s idea,” Lexa replied.  “He knows your friend cares about you.”

Clarke didn’t know what to say.  She was shocked Lexa had trusted Finn and Wells enough to let them help.  Honestly, she was surprised Lexa hadn’t just left Arkadia.  Clarke wouldn’t have even really blamed her; there was a lot at stake, and it would have been much worse if Lexa had been captured.

“Thank you,” Clarke said after a few moments.  “I know you didn’t have to come back for me.  I would have understood if you didn’t.”

Lexa nodded and Clarke thought that would be the end of the conversation until Lexa said, “I tried to stop them from taking you.  I saw your father follow you, but one of the guards saw the dagger in my hand.  By the time I had incapacitated the two guards, it was too late.  There was nothing I could do, Clarke.”

“I don’t blame you,” Clarke replied.  “The only person I blame is myself.  I should have done better.” Clarke let out a light sigh as she sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest.  “I _will_ do better.  I’ll—” Clarke was cut off by the sound of the alarm going off in town and she instantly tensed.

“What is that?” Lexa asked, her hand instinctively going for her weapon.

“They know I’m gone,” Clarke answered.

***

“Raven just left,” Finn said as he opened the small door to the attic, bringing a lantern with.  “I guess you heard the alarm.”

“It was hard to miss,” Clarke replied.

“I guess they know, huh?” Finn said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m surprised they didn’t realize sooner,” Clarke commented.

“Yes, if the guards around here were under my command, they would have been executed for their incompetence,” Lexa stated.  “Someone should have been watching Clarke at all times.”

“Be glad they weren’t,” Clarke replied.

“So, uh, I figure you guys can stay up here for the night,” Finn said, running his hand through his hair.  “It’s not much, but you’ll be safe.”

“Thank you,” Clarke replied.  “Really.”

“I’ll go grab some of Raven’s clothes that she’s left here,” Finn said, looking at Clarke.  “I figure you’re tired of wearing that.”

Clarke looked down at her dress; it was dirty and Lexa had ripped the bottom off while she was climbing from the prison.  “A bit, yeah.”

“I’ll be right back,” Finn said before turning and ducking out of the room.

Clarke sighed to herself and turned toward Lexa.  It had been a long night, and after getting so little sleep the previous night, her body and mind were both exhausted.  Part of her was afraid to even try to sleep, though; she knew people were out there searching for her right now, and she didn’t want to be unprepared for if—or more like when—they came.

“I hope Wells is okay,” Clarke said, more to herself than to Lexa.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Lexa replied.

“I just don’t want the same thing to happen to him that happened to me,” Clarke said, shaking her head.  “Or worse.”

“Your friend knows not to do anything,” Lexa said.

“But what if someone noticed he was gone tonight?” Clarke asked.

“He said he would tell anyone who asks that he was with Bellamy,” Lexa replied.  “After hearing what Bellamy did for me, Wells said he thought he would go with it.”

Clarke couldn’t help cracking a smile.  “I know you’re barely older than I am, but hearing you say ‘go with it’ sounds so strange coming from you.”

“I am plenty older than you, Clarke,” Lexa replied, and Clarke noticed her stand a little bit straighter.

“You’re only twenty-one,” Clarke said, shaking her head, and earning a slight frown from Lexa.  “Lincoln told me.”

“It seems like Lincoln has told you a lot,” Lexa remarked.

“You’re not going to kill him, are you?” Clarke joked before frowning.  “You’re not, right?”

“Lincoln is safe,” Lexa replied.  “I do not consider it a betrayal.  It is something every one of my people know.”

“Good, because I think he was the only person in Polis who didn’t hate me,” Clarke said.

“Not everyone there hates you, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Clarke was caught off guard by the sudden softness of Lexa’s voice.  And when Lexa opened her mouth to speak again, Clarke was curious to hear what else she was going to say.  Unfortunately, a moment later, there was a knock at the door, startling Clarke, and cutting off whatever Lexa was going to say.

“I, uh, brought you both something to sleep in and some jeans and stuff for you,” Finn said, looking at Clarke.  “They might be a little tight; you know Raven.”

“Thanks, Finn,” Clarke said, taking the clothes from here.

“I also brought you some pillows and a blanket,” Finn said, his voice growing fainter for a moment as he disappeared out of the room.  “You’re gonna have to share; it was the only blanket I could find other than the one in my mom’s room, and I was afraid she’d ask where it went.  Sorry.”

“It’s great, Finn,” Clarke replied, giving him a smile as he set the blanket and pillows down on the attic floor.  “You didn’t have to do any of this, so thank you.”

“I thought I’d sleep in the living room tonight,” Finn said, scratching the back of his neck.  “I’ll hear if anyone comes by and I’ll give you two a signal.”

“How do you plan on doing that?” Clarke wondered.

“Oh, right,” Finn said, squatting down, and pulling something out of one of the pillows.  “Raven had some walkie-talkies here.  I have the other one downstairs.  She was trying to fix them, so they don’t work quite right, but if I try to get a hold of you at all, you’ll know something’s up.  So—that’s it.  I’ll leave you two to get some sleep.  Night.”

“Goodnight, Finn,” Clarke replied.

“I’ll take first watch,” Lexa said the moment Finn had shut the door behind him.

“Finn just said he’ll listen,” Clarke replied.

“I’ll take first watch,” Lexa repeated.

“You’re very stubborn, do you know that?” Clarke asked.

“I have been told that,” Lexa replied.  “Usually it’s the last thing they ever say.”

Clarke was inclined to believe Lexa until Clarke noticed a small smile appear on her face as she turned away.

“I’m going to change,” Clarke said, suppressing a smile of her own.  “Will you—”

“I won’t look, Clarke,” Lexa interrupted.

“Actually, I was going to ask if you would unzip me,” Clarke replied, turning around, and looking over her shoulder.  “Although it’s good to know where your mind is at.”

Clarke wasn’t sure if it was just her imagination—it was hard to see properly in such low lighting—but she was pretty sure Lexa’s cheeks were slightly red as she turned around and began helping her unzip the dress.


	12. Lockdown

“They’re leaving,” Lexa said as she glanced out the window and then covered it back up.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief.  The guards hadn’t been there long, but they could hear them going through the house, obviously searching for Clarke—and probably Lexa, though they didn’t know who she was—in people’s homes.  Thankfully, the guards hadn’t noticed the hidden door in Finn’s bedroom.  They could hear them riffling through the closet, and Lexa had been prepared to kill whoever came through, but it never happened.

“We’re lucky Murphy was one of them,” Clarke commented.  “I can’t imagine him being very thorough.”

“We were lucky,” Lexa agreed.  “The guards here are not very good at their duties.”

“The town’s on lockdown,” Finn said as he opened the door and walked in.  “No one is supposed to leave their house.  They’re also going house to house to look for you.” He looked at Lexa.  “And they’re asking people if they know who you are.  Right now, I don’t think they have a clue.”

“Well, that’s something,” Clarke replied.  “But it’s only a matter of time before they realize.  Too many people have seen me with Lexa.”

Finn shrugged.  “Maybe.  Or maybe no one will tell.  At least not the people who really know you—Monty, Jasper, Raven.  They’re the only people who know Lexa’s name, right?”

“My mom saw her,” Clarke said.  “At the festival, remember?”

“Do you think she’ll rat you out?” Finn asked.

“I don’t know what she will do,” Clarke said, shaking her head.  “If she thinks I’m betraying the town—”

“She wouldn’t think that,” Finn said.  “She knows you.  I mean, I don’t think it and we’re just friends, right?  This is your mom you’re talking about.  Even if she doesn’t know what’s happening, she knows you.  And speaking of not knowing what’s really happening, it’d be nice if you ever told me exactly what is going on.”

“I thought Lexa told you,” Clarke said, frowning, and looking at Lexa.  “Didn’t you say he threatened you if you didn’t tell him?”

“Yeah, but then she threatened to kill me, and I’m pretty sure she meant it, so I dropped it,” Finn answered.

Clarke looked to Lexa, trying to tell whether or not she was okay with telling Finn the truth.  After all, he was sticking their neck out for them and she felt like he deserved to know what he was doing it for.  If he was found to be hiding them, she figured the Chancellor wouldn’t hesitate to execute him, and Finn had to know that, too.

She could tell Lexa was studying Finn, scrutinizing him, but after a moment, she looked at Clarke and gave her a barely-there nod.  Finn noticed the sign of approval and looked to Clarke expectantly.  Clarke didn’t really know where to start, so she decided to start at the beginning, telling Finn everything from how she had had met Lexa up until they came to break her out of jail.  Finn was silent throughout the whole thing, but he didn’t look disbelieving.  In fact, she saw him nodding several times as if what she said made complete sense.

“So—” Finn sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  “How do we know others aren’t—infected.”

“We don’t,” Clarke said.

“Then how do you know who to trust?” Finn asked.  “I mean, what if they have—what if they have Raven.  She’s working on this thing!”

“Have you noticed any changes in her behavior?” Clarke asked.

“No, not really,” Finn replied.

“Then I’m sure she’s fine,” Clarke assured him.

“What’s the new plan?” Finn asked.  “You have one, right?”

“We still need to get the key, so we can get into that room,” Clarke said.  “Unfortunately, the Chancellor is probably going to be even more careful with it.  I doubt they believed my story about looking for a bottle of alcohol for me and Wells.”

“Maybe they did,” Finn replied.  “I’m sure Wells backed you up on that.”

“Maybe,” Clarke said.

“Hey, I might know a way to get the key,” Finn said, suddenly looking excited.  “You said it’s in the Chancellor’s office, right?”

“Yes,” Clarke answered.

“Then we have Octavia get it,” Finn said.  “She works there.  She takes food to the Chancellor all the time; no one will think anything of her being in there.  No one will be paying attention to her like Wells.  I mean, you two are friendly, but you’re not exactly best friends.  No one will think she’s helping us.”

“How do you plan on that happening when you can’t leave the house?” Lexa asked.

“We leave,” Clarke said, the idea suddenly coming to her.  “We leave Arkadia and we make sure they see it.  If we’re gone, they’ll think the threat is gone, and everything will go back to normal.”

“And if this doesn’t work?” Lexa asked.  “They will be watching too closely for us to return.”

Clarke paused for a few seconds before opening her mouth and saying, “Then you can do whatever you need to do.”

***

Clarke watched as Lexa paced back and forth across the room.  She could tell the Commander wasn’t used to being cooped up, and she couldn’t help wondering if Lexa was actually a little claustrophobic.  Lexa couldn’t seem to sit still, reminding Clarke of a caged animal the way she stalked around the room, looking ready to attack anyone who got close enough.

“Lexa, you’re driving me crazy,” Clarke said when she could no longer take Lexa’s pacing.  “Please sit down for five minutes.”

“We should not be unprepared, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“We’ll hear if anyone is coming,” Clarke reasoned.  “And I’m more distracted by you doing that than anything.”

Lexa stopped walking, but she still didn’t sit down.  Clarke wasn’t going to complain, though; it beat watching her repeatedly walking back and forth.

“You could always get some more sleep if you’d like,” Clarke suggested.

“I slept plenty,” Lexa replied.

“You slept for an hour or two,” Clarke countered.  “You really need to work on waking me up so I can do my part.”

“You were exhausted,” Lexa replied, glancing at her.

“I’m sure you are, too,” Clarke said.

“I’m used to it,” Lexa replied.  “As Commander, my duty to my people comes first, and a lot of time that means staying up for days.”

“Come here,” Clarke said.

“What is it, Clarke?” Lexa asked as she stepped forward.

Clarke reached forward and grabbed Lexa’s hand, pulling her down.  “Sit down.”

“You cannot command me,” Lexa said, though she turned around, resting her back against the wall, nevertheless.  “If we were in Polis—”

“You’d have me killed.” Clarke nudged her shoulder to Lexa’s. “I know.”

Lexa scowled, which only made Clarke smile.  As scary as Lexa could be—and Clarke had seen it firsthand—Clarke couldn’t help feeling like she wouldn’t do anything to her.  If she was ever going to, Clarke was pretty sure she would have done something by then.  And she also had a feeling that Lexa let her get by with things that no one else could do.  Of course, she would never point that out to Lexa.

“What are you thinking?” Clarke wondered after a few minutes.

“That our plan is foolish,” Lexa said as she continued to stare forward.  “There’s too much at stake.  We’re depending on too many people and anything could go wrong.”

“Trust me, Lexa,” Clarke replied.  “Just try it my way.”

“We already did that once and failed,” Lexa said.

Clarke wasn’t going to argue with that.  Her first plan had failed spectacularly and she entirely blamed herself for it.

“Well, then, you can march your army into Arkadia and kill every last person if this doesn’t work,” Clarke said.

“Clarke—”

“I’m joking,” Clarke interrupted.  “Sort of.  I can’t exactly control what you do, can I?”

“My army would not kill everyone,” Lexa replied.  “My people do not kill those who are innocent.  Only the people who try to stop us.”

Clarke sighed.  “I really think this is our best chance.  They’re going to be looking for us, but they won’t notice Octavia.  She spend almost every day of her life in the Chancellor’s house.  She’s been working there since she was thirteen.”

“And what if she doesn’t want to help us?” Lexa asked.  “What if she doesn’t believe what she is told?”

“She will,” Clarke confidentially said.  “Octavia isn’t the Chancellor’s biggest fan; I know she feels like he’s the reason her and Bellamy’s mother is dead.  She’d probably do it just to get back at him.”

Lexa nodded.  “Regardless, that doesn’t mean it will work.  It’s barely even a plan.”

“I know, but I trust my friends,” Clarke said.  “Even if this doesn’t work, they won’t stop trying.  We’re all in this together now; if we fail, it’s going to affect everybody.  They’ll understand this and do everything that can to prevent it.  You’re not the only one who has a duty to their people.”

Lexa turned her head to look at Clarke, their eyes locking together.  Clarke hoped she understood and trusted them all enough to do what needed to be done.  Clarke had complete faith in her friends and felt like if they’d just trusted them with the truth in the beginning that they would be in a much different place at the moment.

“I’m trusting you, Clarke,” Lexa said after a few moments.  “But after this, I won’t be able to delay things any longer.  They’re too close and we cannot risk the lives of everyone.”

“I know,” Clarke replied.  “And I won’t fault you for what you have to do.”

Lexa nodded, looking away.  “Then we will do it your way one last time.”

***

“I don’t know how you can stand this.”

Clarke lifted her head from its position on the floor to look at Lexa.  “Stand what?”

“All this waiting,” Lexa said.  “I feel completely useless here, and that’s not something I like to feel.  I want to do something other than wait around.”

“We need to wait until the sun is down,” Clarke said, laying her head back down.

“I know that, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “I am the one who said we needed to wait for the cover of darkness.”

Clarke shook her head as she sat up.  Lexa had been antsy all day, and it was only getting worse as the time went on.  She knew Lexa was used to coming and going as she wished, wherever she wished, and it was probably killing her to be stuck in one room, not being able to control anything around her.  She was used to be in command, having thousands of people at her disposal, and now she just had a few people who weren’t even _her_ people.

“It should only been a few hours now,” Clarke said.

Lexa nodded and walked over to the window, pulling the curtain aside just enough to look out.  It was something she had been doing a lot of, and Clarke wondered if it was a nervous habit or if she was simply keeping a lookout for anyone who may be approaching.

“Can I ask you something?” Clarke said, drawing her knees up to her chest as she looked over at Lexa.

“What is it, Clarke?” Lexa replied.

“What is going to happen if I can never come back here?” Clarke asked.

Lexa let go of the curtain, letting it fall into place, and turned on her heel.  “I cannot tell you where to go, but you will have a place in Polis if you wish to join us there.”

“I’m sure your people will love that,” Clarke said.

“My people will not harm you,” Lexa replied, looking slightly amused.  “If I invite you to Polis, they will accept it.  And if we succeed in stopping the danger from the Mountain, they will celebrate you.”

“And if we don’t, I guess it doesn’t matter, does it?” Clarke said.

“The same invitation will be extended to the others, as well,” Lexa added.  “I will welcome those who have fought by our side.”

“It feels weird to think about leaving this place and never coming back,” Clarke said.  “Arkadia has never been perfect, but it’s home.  I’ve lived here since I was six years old.  Actually, I had just turned six a few days before we finally settled here  I barely remember what it was like before we came here.  I mostly just know what my parents have told me.”

“I remember when your group arrived,” Lexa commented.  “The current Commander debated whether or not to reveal ourselves to you.  There was also talk of killing all of you.  In the end, the Commander decided to not interfere with you unless you came any closer to our settlements.  The same has been done for the others who settled near our land.  But you all stayed near your settlement and never traveled close enough to be considered a threat.”

“Lucky for us,” Clarke replied.

They fell silent and Clarke looked down as she pulled on a loose string at the hem of the jeans she was wearing.

“I had a brother,” Clarke quietly said.  “His name was Charles.  He was two years younger than me; he was almost four.  He got sick on the way here.  My mom did everything she could for him, but it was hard when we were traveling so much.  We even stopped along the way, so she could try to take care of him and the others who were sick, but we couldn’t stop for too long or we would run out of supplies.  I remember being really hungry because we were running out of food.  He survived the journey here, but he never got better.  He died a few weeks after we arrived.”

Clarke shook her head.  “It’s not something my family ever talks about, and I don’t know why I’m even telling you this.  I’ve just been thinking about my mom and how she’s always lost a child and probably my dad, even if she doesn’t know it yet, and how she may lose me, too.  I’ve been trying not to think of it, or what is going to happen to my dad, but it’s hard when we’re trapped in here with nothing else to do.” Clarke sighed, stretching her legs out.  “I think I’m going to get some rest before we leave; wake me up when it’s time to go.  Or if you want to sleep and don’t feel comfortable without someone keeping watch.”

Lexa nodded, seemingly unfazed by Clarke suddenly ending the conversation.  “Sleep well, Clarke.”

***

Clarke was suddenly jerked back and just as she opened her mouth to ask Lexa what the hell she was doing, Lexa’s hand clapped over it.  Lexa put her finger to her own lip, signaling Clarke to be quiet, before slowly removing her hand.  Clarke raised her eyebrow in a questioning manner, and Lexa clearly understood what she was saying because she pointed to the building next to them.  A few moments later, Clarke heard what Lexa must have heard, and she nodded to show Lexa she understood.

After backtracking and going the long way around, Clarke and Lexa finally came to the guard tower they had been trying to reach.  it was the shortest one along the wall—barely a few feet above the rest of the wall—and the smallest, so they knew there couldn’t be more than one guard within.  Because the last thing they wanted was for multiple guards to be shooting at them. They wanted to be seen, not killed.

“I hate this part,” Clarke whispered as Lexa wordlessly nodded toward the wall and then braced her hands in front of her.

Clarke wasn’t very good at climbing things—up or down—and if she’d known she was going to end up doing so much of it, she would have prepared herself for it.  She wasn’t exactly out of shape, but she also wasn’t the most athletic person.  She’d never had to do physical labor like some of her friends, and she knew it showed.  Especially when she was trying to climb over a stone wall that was as tall as she was.

When Clarke finally managed to swing her leg over the wall, she carefully dropped down.  She was trying to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to attract anyone’s attention until they wanted it.  Lexa, however, had no problem being completely silent.  When she dropped down a few moments later, she hit the ground without a sound.

“Do you see that shorter tree?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded.  “I see it.”

“When I distract the guard, run toward it,” Lexa instructed.  “I’ll be right behind you.”

“Be careful,” Clarke replied.

“Ready?” Lexa asked, pulling a dagger out.

Clarke nodded and Lexa stepped out from the wall, hurling her dagger toward the guard tower.  She heard whoever was in it shriek in pain and that was her cue to begin running across the field.  She only made it a few yards before she heard shouting and then the sound of gunfire a few seconds after that.

The gunfire wasn’t coming from the nearest tower, though.  It was coming from across the wall and she didn’t know if it was being directed at her or Lexa, but she wasn’t going to stop to find out.

“They’re getting away!”

“Stop them!”

Clarke heard the shouts and kept running as hard as she could go, though her legs were beginning to feel like jelly.  Behind her, she heard Lexa’s footsteps and knew she had already caught up to her.  Not that Clarke was surprised; she wouldn’t be shocked if Lexa could outrun every single Arkadian.

“They’re over the wall,” Lexa said just loud enough for Clarke to hear her, though it took a few moments for the words to sink in.

The moment they were past the tree line, Lexa grabbed Clarke’s arm.  Clarke didn’t bother asking where they were going; instead, she quickly followed Lexa, occasionally getting pulled in a random direction.

“Hold it!”

Clarke froze at the voice and she and Lexa both turned.  They were too close to them to be able to run without getting shot by the rifles they had trained on them, and Clarke couldn’t help wondering where the hell they had come from.  The only thing she could figure was that Chancellor Jaha had stationed some guards within the forest in case they tried to escape.

“Hands up.”

Clarke began putting her hands up when a dagger flew towards the guard—a guy she knew was named John, but not much else—and he fell to the ground.  One of the others shot once, but Lexa had knocked the gun out of his hands and Clarke heard a sickening snap as Lexa twisted his head.

“Bellamy,” Clarke said, turning to the last guard.

“Tell me why I should shoot?” Bellamy said, and Clarke knew he was talking to her even if his eyes were on Lexa.  “She just killed two people.”

“For the same reason you let her go the other day,” Clarke answered.  “You know me.  You’ve known me all your life.  You know I wouldn’t be doing this if there wasn’t a reason.  And I wouldn’t be with Lexa if we couldn’t trust her.  So trust _me_ when I say things in Arkadia aren’t what they seem.  Go to Finn; he’ll tell you everything.”

Bellamy hesitated but lowered his gun after a few seconds.  “Go.”

“Thank you,” Clarke replied.  “And go to Finn!  Help him!”

***

Clarke looked up at the overcast sky, wondering how long ago they had left Arkadia and whether or not her friends were alright.  She knew there was no real way to prove that they’d helped her, but that didn’t mean they would assume and punish them anyway.  And then there was the possibility of them getting caught the exact same way she had.  She’d told Finn to make sure Octavia waited until she was sure she wouldn’t get caught, but she knew Octavia could be impulsive sometimes.

They hadn’t gone too far from the town; the woods had been too heavily guarded, making it hard to slip past them when they were all walking around with assault rifles.  Lexa was a skilled fighter, but there was only so much one person could do against multiple people with far better weapons.  So, Clarke and Lexa had been forced to hide, biding their time until they could make their escape.  Eventually, all the guards had pulled back to the outer wall, and Clarke knew it was now less about capturing her and Lexa and more about keeping them out of Arkadia.

Unfortunately, they now had to take the long way to the other side.  They had chosen their escape point based on where the least number of guards were, but it was in the opposite direction of Polis.  Now, they were having to slowly circle around while keeping an eye out for any guards who may still be in the forest, and it was taking a lot longer than she’d expected.

“Make sure you are not seen,” Lexa said, holding out her arm to stop Clarke.

“It is just me or is that thing circling a lot faster?” Clarke asked as she looked up and saw the drone just beyond the tree line.

“I think there are two of them now,” Lexa replied.

“They must really be worried,” Clarke commented.

“Yes,” Lexa agreed.

“I’m surprised they haven’t sent them into town,” Clarke said.  “I guess they really don’t want people asking questions.  Of course, I doubt they would be able to fool everyone, and maybe they know that.  Not everyone in Arkadia is trusting.  Like Raven; if she had known she was working on this project for someone outside the city, she would have wanted to know why.  And Raven is pretty good at getting answers when she wants them.”

“Your friend is—”

They both stopped, and Lexa stiffened and her eyes darted toward the wall around Arkadia.  For a moment, Clarke wondered if they had been found, but then she realized the sounds she was hearing were explosions coming from Arkadia.  A few seconds later, Clarke felt like the entire earth was shaking when there was a huge boom so loud that she had to cover her ears.

“What was that?” Clarke asked.

“I think that was your friends succeeding,” Lexa answered.

“We should help them,” Clarke said, feeling the panic begin to rise when she heard the unmistakable sound of gunshots.  “They could be in trouble.”

“We need to move,” Lexa stated.

“We need to go back!” Clarke argued.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, grabbing her wrist when she took a step forward.  “I know you are worried about your friends, but the best thing you can do right now is leave.  Going back will only put them in danger.  If they did succeed, we just dealt a huge blow to that thing inside the Mountain.  Now is not the time to put your heart before your head.  You know there is much more at stake here than just your friends’ lives.”

Clarke knew that what Lexa was saying was right, but that didn’t mean she wanted to admit it.  She had been the one to put her friends in danger, and she didn’t know if she would be able to live with herself if she had gotten any of them killed.

“I don’t know how you do this,” Clarke found herself saying aloud.

“Sometimes you have no choice,” Lexa replied.

Lexa’s hand slid down from Clarke’s wrist, briefly grasping the blonde’s hand before Lexa withdrew her hand, resting it on the hilt of her dagger.

“We need to be extra cautious,” Lexa said, squaring her shoulders.  “They are going to know this is no accident.  That is why we should get out of here as quickly as we can.”

Clarke looked at Lexa; she wanted to argue with her, but she knew she would never win.  Plus, she knew leaving would be for the best even if she hated the idea of letting her friends fend for themselves.  She just wasn’t willing to say it out loud like Lexa was.

“Are you with me, Clarke?” Lexa asked, and Clarke thought she saw a flicker of concern in her green eyes.

Slowly, Clarke nodded before quietly saying, “Let’s go.”


	13. Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I know it’s been ridiculously long since I last posted, but sometimes life happens. Until I began writing I Didn’t See You Coming, I had that lovely thing known as writer’s block. Plus I bought a house and it’s been a pain in the ass trying to make it look like an 80 year old doesn’t own it. On that note, whoever invented wallpaper should be punched in the face. And I know they’re dead, but they should be brought back to life just to be punched in the face.
> 
> But you all don’t care about all that, so just know that I do already have the next chapter done, so it won’t be nearly as long before I post chapter 14.

Clarke couldn’t stop shivering no matter how tightly she pulled her jacket around herself, and the temperature only seemed to be dropping.  She knew it had to be near freezing by now and there was only so much shelter from the wind that the trees and bushes could provide.

She and Lexa had walked until dusk, putting a good amount of distance between them and Arkadia, but they had still agreed that starting a fire would be too risky.  They had no idea how many people could possibly be out there searching for them, but they didn’t want to alert anyone to their location.  But as Clarke lay there on the cold forest floor, she was becoming more and more convinced that the cold was going to kill her even if they managed to remain hidden.

Clarke turned onto her left side, hoping to get some feeling back in her other side.  Other than being cold, the ground was also hard and slightly damp from the rain they had earlier in the day.  And if all of that didn’t make it impossible enough to sleep, Clarke couldn’t stop thinking about the things they’d heard as they left Arkadia.

She kept wondering if her friends and family were okay or if they had been caught.  Or worse.  The explosion had been big enough to cause the ground to shake even where they had been standing and she had no doubt there had been some casualties.  Combine that with the gunfire they’d heard and her imagination had been running rampant all day with images of her friends and family hurt and dying.

“Worrying will do no good, Clarke.”

Clarke frowned.  “What makes you think I’m worrying about anything?”

Lexa sighed.  “Because you worry very loudly.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke replied.  “It’s hard to get comfortable when you’re sleeping on the ground.”

“I didn’t mean the tossing and turning, Clarke,” Lexa said.

Clarke slowly sighed and then sat up on her elbow, looking over at Lexa, who looked completely at ease.  “How do you do it?  How do you always stay so calm?  Doesn’t anything ever get to you?”

“I have learned that being overly emotional only complicates things,” Lexa replied.  “It clouds your judgment and causes you to be less focused.  Worrying as you are will do no one any good.  To be a leader, you need to learn to put your emotions aside and do what is best for everyone.  To do that, you cannot worry about a few people just because they are your friends.”

“I told you, I’m not a leader,” Clarke said.

“What do you believe a leader is, Clarke?” Lexa asked.  “Because from what I have witnessed, I would argue otherwise.  You have risked your life to save your people.  You have put their welfare above your own.  You have also taken command and negotiated with the leader of another group.  What part of that is not being a leader?”

“Well, I don’t want to be a leader,” Clarke replied.

“Most of us did not ask for it,” Lexa stated.  “Sometimes you are the only one who can do it, and you have to make a choice.  And you made your choice.  You didn’t ask to be a leader for your people, but you still chose to be.”

Clarke stared up at the trees above as she thought about Lexa’s words.  She guessed she had chosen this in a way.  She could have just let Lexa take control of everything, but she had insisted on being a part of it.  She hadn’t wanted anything happening to Arkadia, so she had put herself in the middle of everything and didn’t think twice about doing it.

“You’re right,” Clarke said after a few moments.  “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop worrying or that I’m going to be able to sleep tonight.  Not when I keep wondering what’s happening back in Arkadia and if my friends and family are okay.  It also doesn’t help that I’m freezing.”

Lexa didn’t respond at first, and for a while, Clarke thought she had probably fallen asleep.  After a few minutes, though, she heard Lexa shifting, and the next thing Clarke knew, she was lying much closer to her.  So close that Lexa’s left side was pressed up against her as they lay side by side.

“It’s too bad all of this didn’t happen in the summer,” Clarke commented.

“The sun will be up before you know it, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

Clarke smiled slightly to herself.  “Is that your way of asking me to shut up and go to sleep?”

“You’re learning,” Lexa replied.

***

Clarke’s eyes flew open, but when she tried to sit up, a hand impartially covered her mouth and pushed her back down.  Although it was dark, she could see enough thanks to the bit of moonlight that was shining through the branches above, and when Lexa put her finger to her own lip, Clarke nodded in understanding.

Lexa slowly released her hold on Clarke and removed her hand from her mouth.  Lexa picked up her sword and Clarke followed suit, grabbing her dagger from where it had been lying beside her head.

There was the unmistakable sound of someone walking through the woods and they appeared to be getting closer.  Whoever was out there was loud as they crashed through the branches and didn’t appear to be trying to hide their whereabouts at all.  Which made Clarke think it was because they weren’t afraid of who might find them like Clarke and Lexa were.

“Come on, just a little bit more,” Clarke heard a voice say through the darkness.

“Finn,” Clarke whispered.

Lexa looked at her, sword still at the ready, but after a moment, her shoulder dropped slightly and she stood up straight.  When Clarke heard Finn’s voice again, she grabbed her jacket and jumped up, running toward the source of the sound.

“Clarke!” Lexa harshly whispered.

“Finn!” Clarke called out.

Clarke could hear Lexa sigh, but she didn’t care at the moment.  She needed to make sure her friend was okay.  She was the one who had gotten him into this mess and she needed to know he hadn’t gotten hurt.

“Clarke?” Finn said, and the blonde stopped in her tracks, looking around.  “We’re over here!  Raven’s hurt!”

Clarke ran forward, feeling the sting of a tree limb hitting her in the face, but she didn’t stop until she broke through to find Finn and Raven.  Her arm was around his neck and his was around her waist as he struggled to keep her on her feet.

“She was shot,” Finn said, gently lowering Raven to the ground.  “We’ve been walking for hours.  We couldn’t go back for help.  I did my best to stop the bleeding, but she’s been losing a lot.  She passed out a couple times and I carried her as far as I could.” He ran his hand through his air, smearing a bit of flood on his forehead.  “Can you help her?”

“I—” Clarke shook her head as she looked down at Raven.

“You work at the clinic!” Finn yelled.  “You’ve gotta know something!”

“Where was she shot?” Clarke asked, trying to stay calm as she walked toward Raven.

“Her leg,” Finn answered.  “One of the guards saw her as she left from setting up the bomb and he started shooting at her.  She tried to run, but she got hit.  They were gonna kill her, but Bellamy shot the other guard and told us to run.  The bullet’s in her thigh.  I tried to get it out once, but I couldn’t.”  He shook his head and glanced down at Raven.  “She started bleeding too much when I took the tourniquet off.” Finn lowered his voice.  “Do you think you can help her?  I can’t let her die.”

“I don’t know if I can do anything here,” Clarke replied.

“There’s a village to the west.  We should be able to get there by sunrise if we leave now.”

Clarke looked over her shoulder at Lexa.  Lexa had already mentioned the village as they were walking, so Clarke knew it was out of their  
way, which is why she was surprised Lexa was suggesting they take Raven there.  Especially when she knew Lexa was all about what was best for her people, and this was just one girl that she barely knew.

“What are we waiting for?” Finn asked.

Clarke looked down at Raven, who even in the moonlight, she could tell was incredibly pale.  And judging by the amount of blood on her khaki pants, Clarke knew she was lucky to still be conscious.

“Can you move?” Clarke asked, kneeling down next to Raven, and pushing back a strand of her hair.

“Just get me there,” Raven said, and Clarke could visibly see she was shaking even though she was wearing Finn’s jacket.

“We will,” Clarke replied before looking up at Finn.  “Can you carry her some more?”

“Yeah,” Finn said.  “Ever how long it takes.”

Lexa put her sword in its sheath and walked forward, crouching down, and putting her shoulder under Raven’s arm just as Finn did the same on the other side.

“We need to hurry,” Lexa said.  “If you were followed, it will only be a matter of time before we are found.”

Clarke locked eyes with Lexa and she knew what she wasn’t saying: they also needed to hurry because Raven wasn’t going to last much longer if they didn’t get her some help soon.

***

“I’m sorry, I’ve gotta rest,” Finn said, stopping suddenly, and taking several deep breathes.

Despite the cold, he and Lexa were both visibly sweating from the effort it took to carry Raven.  And at this point, that was exactly what they were doing.  Raven was becoming weaker by the moment and was barely staying conscious.

“I’ll just check on Raven,” Clarke said as Finn and Lexa lowered the injured girl to the ground.

Clarke walked over to look at the shirt wrapped around her leg.  There really wasn’t much she could do, though, and she knew it.  They needed to get the bullet out, but she was too afraid to do it there.  Not when Raven would be lying on the ground and all they had to do it with was a dagger.

“How does it look, Doc?” Raven asked, her eyes drooping.

“I’ve seen much worse,” Clarke answered.  “You’ll be just fine.  We just need to get you to Lexa’s village and everything will be alright.”

Finn locked eyes with Clarke, and she knew he could tell she was just saying that for Raven’s sake.

“Yeah, listen to Clarke,” Finn said.  “You’re gonna be fine.”

“You’ve always been a shitty liar,” Raven replied.  “Both of you.  Now, tell me the truth.”

“You’ll be fine,” Clarke repeated.  “I’m not going to let you die.  I promise.” She looked up at Finn.  “Make sure you keep her warm.”

Finn nodded and Clarke stood, walking over to Lexa, who was keeping watch a few yards away.

“How much further away is this village?” Clarke asked.

“Not much,” Lexa replied.  “We should be there soon.” Lexa looked up at the sky.  “We should make it before sunrise; we’ve made good time.”

Clarke sighed and looked over her shoulder at Finn and Raven.  “I don’t know if she’s going to make it much longer.  She’s lost a lot of  
blood.  I’m honestly surprised she’s made it this long.” She glanced over at Lexa.  “I hope the last thing I say to her isn’t a lie.”

“Sometimes people need to be lied to,” Lexa said, clasping her hands behind her back.  “Sometimes a person needs hope more than the truth.”

“Even if they know you’re lying?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded.  “She knows you care.” Lexa glanced over her shoulder and then looked back to Clarke.  “Your friend is a fighter.  Many would have given up by now.”

“I don’t know how she’s doing it,” Clarke commented.  “If she was anyone else, she would have been unconscious by now.”  Clarke shook her head.  “She’s lost so much blood.”

“We’ll get her there, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “But we need to begin moving again.  There are still people looking for us, and the faster we get there, the safer we will be.”

Clarke nodded.  “I can take over if you’re tired.”

“I think Finn is the one who is tired,” Lexa replied.

Clarke looked over at Finn again.  She knew he was completely exhausted after spending hours getting Raven to where Clarke and Lexa had set up camp and another hour trying to get her to the village.  Clarke was tired and she hadn’t even been carrying another person on her shoulders like Finn and Lexa.

“Then I guess I can take over for him,” Clarke said.  “Because you’re right—we should get going.  The more time we spend here, the more likely we are to be found.”

“I guess that means I’m going to have to get up,” Raven said, her voice sounding weak and strained.  “Which I’ll be sure to get on at any moment.  Watch me go.”

“Are you okay to be moved?” Clarke asked as she walked toward Raven.

“Okay as I’ll ever be,” Raven replied.

Even though she was making jokes, Clarke could see the pain and trepidation in Raven’s eyes.   She knew Raven was scared—anyone would be in her situation—and she wished there was something she could stay to comfort her.  But Clarke also knew Raven wasn’t the type who really wanted to be comforted.  She would only mock Clarke for being mushy.

“Are you going to be okay to take her?” Finn asked.  “Because I can try to make it there.”

“It’s fine,” Clarke said.  “You rest; I’ll take her as far as I can.” She looked over at Lexa, who had knelt down on the other side of Raven.  “Ready?  Let’s lift her on the county of three.  One, two, three—”

***

“Let us through!” Lexa called out.

Clarke heard many calls of ‘Heda’ as the people are the gate recognized their commander.  Clarke noticed them eyeing her and Finn with great distrust, but no one tried to stop them as they entered the village.

“You,” Lexa said, and the guard fixed his attention on Lexa rather than continuing to stare a Clarke with a look that could only be described as pure hatred.  “Wake Nyko.  Tell him we have an injured warrior.”

The guard nodded, though he glanced at Raven and narrowed his eyes.

“Quickly,” Lexa commanded.

“Is it just me or do we not seem very welcome here?” Finn mumbled to Clarke.

“It’s not just you,” Clarke replied.

“This way,” Lexa said, nodding toward a small wooden building.

“Here,” Finn said to Lexa, taking Raven’s arm, and putting it around his shoulder.  “Lead the way.”

Clarke and Finn followed behind Lexa as quickly as possible, but it wasn’t easy.  They were both exhausted from taking turns carrying Raven through miles of forest.  Clarke had been ready to collapse for the past thirty minutes or so, but she’d continued on, knowing they needed to get Raven to this village if she was going to have any hope of making it,

“Let’s get her on the table,” Finn said when they walked into the building.

“Are we there yet?” Raven mumbled, her eyes barely open.

“We just have to get you onto this table and then we can get this bullet out of you,” Clarke replied.

“The healer is coming,” Lexa added as the three lifted Raven onto the table.

Raven groaned in pain when they set her down, and Clarke could see she had a tight grip on Finn’s hand.  And she knew Raven was in even more pain than she was letting on.

“What do you need?” Finn asked, releasing Raven’s hands, and walking over to rummage through the instruments on the other table.

“Look for something metal and tweezer like,” Clarke said, releasing they weren’t exactly going to have any type of forceps like her mother used for removing bullets.  “And something to sterilize.”

“I’ll look,” Finn replied.

“What type of training does your healer have?” Clarke asked, walking up to Lexa.

“He trained with the best healers in Polis,” Lexa answered.  “He has saved many lives in and out of war.”

Clarke nodded just as the man she assumed was Nyko walked into the building.  He definitely wasn’t what she had expected, though, and Clarke’s eyebrows rose at the sight of him.  She knew a lot of Lexa’s people had tattoos, but she didn’t anticipate the healer’s face to be half obscured by them.

“What happened?” Nyko asked.

“She was shot,” Finn answered.

“There’s a bullet in her thigh,” Clarke said.  “We’ve controlled the bleeding using a tourniquet, but she’s still lost a lot of blood.  I was too afraid of infection to remove it.”

“I think you’ll have no problem with that if you use this,” Finn said, holding out a clear jug.  “It smells more potent than even Monty’s moonshine.  And I also found these.  Will they work?”

“What do you usually remove bullets with?” Clarke asked.

“Clarke is any ally,” Lexa stated when Nyko looked at Clarke suspiciously.  “Treat these people like you would any of your own people.”

Nyko set his satchel down on the table and pulled out several things from within.  “I use these.”

“Tell me you have something to numb the pain,” Raven said.  “Anything.  I don’t care.  Hit me over the head if you have to.”

Nyko shook his head and Clarke sighed before walking over to Raven with what she hoped was a reassuring smile.  “It’ll be over soon.”

“Yeah, because I’ll be dead,” Raven replied.

“We didn’t come this far to fail,” Clarke said, shaking her head.  “You’re going to be just fine.  We’re going to get this bullet out and then you’re going to be up and walking around before you know it.  Because you’re stubborn and I know you’ll never listen to me when I tell you not to.  And Finn will be with you the whole time.” She looked up at him.  “Won’t you, Finn.”

Finn nodded and walked over to Raven, taking his hand.  “Remember that time you fell from the roof while trying to sneak over to my room?  That was a lot worse than this.”

“Don’t remind me,” Raven said.  “That was terrible.”

“Then this will be a piece of cake,” Finn replied.

“You should listen to your boyfriend,” Clarke said.  “Sometimes he knows what he’s talking about.”

“Hey!” Finn indignantly replied.

Raven let out a slight laugh but it quickly turned into a groan.  “Please don’t make me laugh.”

“Sorry,” Clarke said, giving her a smile before glancing over a Nyko.  “If you’re ready, we’ll get started on removing this thing.”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Raven said, holding her hand out.  “Give me some of that booze.”

“That’s the Raven we all know and love,” Clarke softly replied as she gently squeezed Raven’s arm.

***

“May I come in?” Clarke asked.

Lexa gave her a swift nod before turning back to the young man that was in the Commander’s tent.  “When you arrive in Polis, take this to Indra.  Do not give this to anyone else or allow them to take it.”

“I’ll protect it with my life,” the man said.

“Do not stop,” Lexa instructed.

“Sha, Heda,” he replied before turning on his heel and passing by Clarke without a second glance.

“What is it, Clarke?” Lexa asked, looking down at the papers covering the large, wooden table in the center of the tent.

“I just thought I would let you know that we removed the bullet,” Clarke said.  “She passed out about halfway through, so we’re just waiting for her to wake up right now.”

Lexa nodded.  “I’m glad to hear it.”

“Now, we have to worry about infection,” Clarke said, taking a few steps toward Lexa.  “In Arkadia, we had medications to help, but Nyko told me there is nothing like that here.  If there was some way to contact my mom, she could help, but I guess that’s not possible now.  So, now it’s a waiting game.  Hopefully there will be no permanent damage, though.”

“Most would not have made it this far,” Lexa stated. “Raven did well.”

“I know,” Clarke replied, sighing.  “I really didn’t think she was going to last until we got here.  And it was going to be my fault; I was the one who got her into this.”

“It is not your fault, Clarke,” Lexa said.  “If anyone is to blame, it would be me.  I’m the one who took you away from Arkadia and brought you into everything.  You should not feel guilty.”

“I think you mean you kidnapped me from Arkadia,” Clarke remarked.

Lexa stared at her for a moment before looking down again.  “Have you spoken to Finn?”

“Yes,” Clarke replied.  “That’s part of the reason I’m here.”

Given that was Lexa was always all business, she had been surprised she hadn’t questioned Finn immediately.  Other than telling Clarke they needed to find out what had happened as soon as possible, though, Lexa had remained silent about Arkadia.  As soon as she had gotten the bullet out of Raven’s leg and was confident she was out of immediate danger, Clarke had finally asked him.  Because she was just as anxious Lexa to know.  Probably more so.

“Octavia made it in and out of the Chancellor’s office,” Clarke said when Lexa gave her her complete attention.  “There was someone guarding the office, but they let her in when she told them she was there to bring the Chancellor his food.  I guess Chancellor Jaha was in the office, so she spilled something on him to get him to leave.  That’s when she grabbed the key from the safe.  He said when she opened the safe, though, an alarm went off.” Clarke sighed.  “Wells helped her escape the house, but one of the guards grabbed him as she got away.”

“Is there any word on him?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head.  “Octavia ran.  She got the key to Raven, and then Raven went down to the room in the tunnels and set up the bomb.  Someone started shooting at her as she left, but she got out and set off the explosion to destroy everything they had been working on.  After Bellamy saved Finn and Raven, Finn told him where Octavia was and told him to take her and run.  Finn doesn’t know what happened to anyone.  He said guards were swarming the place, keeping everyone in their homes, and going door to door.  They only made it out of Arkadia because they’re friends with a lot of the younger guards who aren’t as ruthless as some of the others.”

“I’m sorry your friend was shot, Clarke, but she should be proud,” Lexa said.  “Your friends succeeded and that is what is most important.  Because of them, countless lives may be saved.”

“I know,” Clarke replied.  “I know one person dying is nothing compared to everyone, but that doesn’t really make it any easier for me.  Not when that one person is someone I care about.  Raven could have died.  Actually, given how much blood she lost, she probably _should_ have died.  Thankfully, she didn’t, but there are still a lot more people out there that are in danger.  Bellamy and Octavia, my mom and dad, Wells—I hate not knowing where they are and if they’re okay.  For all I know, they’re all gone.”

“Be patient, Clarke,” Lexa said.  “I’m sure you will receive word soon enough.  I already have scouts in the area; if they send any information, I will let you know.”

Clarke nodded.  “Thank you.”

“There is no need to thank me, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“Very well,” Clarke said, nodding again.  “I’m going to go wait with Finn until Raven wakes.”

Lexa looked down again. “I will have some food sent.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said before holding up her hand and giving her a slight smile.  “And don’t tell me I don’t need to thank you.”

Clarke turned and began walking out of the tent, but just as she reached the entrance, she heard a quiet and unexpected, “You’re welcome.”


	14. Surviving

“Here,” Clarke said, holding out a wooden plate of dried meats.  “You should eat.”

Finn ran his hand through his hair as he sat up straighter.  “I’m not very hungry.”

“I know,” Clarke replied.  “But you should eat anyway.”

Clarke knew exactly how he felt, but not eating wouldn’t do either of them any good.  They still had a long journey ahead of them and they were going to need their strength.  But it was hard to really care when Raven was still lying there in bed, her leg bandaged and her face still pale from the loss of blood.

Raven had been in and out of consciousness all evening.  She kept telling Finn that it was because Raven had been through a huge trauma and her body needed to rest, but it didn’t seem to make him feel any better.  She knew it was to be expected that Raven was going to sleep a lot, and Clarke was just relieved she had woken up at all.

“Raven would want you to,” Clarke added after a few moments.

Finn hesitated but took the plate from her.  “You’re right.  If she was awake, she’d be trying to steal from the plate.”

Clarke smiled.  “I’ll bring a plate for her for when she wakes up.”

“Thanks,” Finn said, sighing, and slumping down in his seat again.

“Have you slept at all?” Clarke asked, noticing how red Finn’s eyes were and how rundown he looked.

“Have you?” Finn countered.

“It’s kind of hard to sleep right now,” Clarke replied.

“Why?” Finn asked.  “We’re safe here, right?  Or are you just worried about everyone?”

“Partly,” Clarke replied.

“And the other part?” Finn asked.

Clarke shook her head.  “It’s nothing.”

They fell silent, but she could see out of the corner of her eye that Finn was watching her.  When he finally looked away, she thought the subject was closed, but then a few moments later he said, “This isn’t your fault.”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“This,” he said.  “Raven.  Stop feeling guilty.  It isn’t your fault.  We knew the dangers, but we still did it.  You didn’t decide for us, so you can’t blame yourself.”

Clarke sighed.  “If I just kept you out of it—”

“No,” Finn interrupted, shaking his head.  “And you didn’t pull me into it.  I put myself into it.  I got Lexa to let me help get you out.  I asked to know the truth.”

“So, you don’t think Raven will hate me?” Clarke asked.

“Of course not,” Finn replied, shaking his head.  “She knew it was dangerous, but she still wanted to help.  Besides, if it wasn’t for us doing what we did, we’d all be dead soon and none of this would even matter.  You’ve saved us all.”

“I didn’t save anyone,” Clarke argued.  “If anyone saved us, it’s you and Raven and Lexa.”

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, Clarke,” Finn replied.  “If you hadn’t convinced Lexa to do this, Arkadia may be completely destroyed right now.  Her men would have come in and not cared who all they killed if it meant stopping this thing.  And I wouldn’t exactly blame them, but that would have really sucked for those of us that were there.  Raven may have been hurt, but at least she’s still alive.”

Clarke wished she could believe Finn, and some part of her knew he was right, but she still couldn’t help feeling like she’d let everyone down.  If her plan had just worked from the beginning and if she hadn’t gotten caught, Raven wouldn’t be hurt, Bellamy and Octavia wouldn’t be on the run, and Wells wouldn’t be captured.

“Raven isn’t going to hate you,” Finn reiterated.  “I mean, she’s forgiven me plenty of times.”

“You haven’t gotten her shot,” Clarke replied.

“No, but I did drop a hot poker on her foot once,” Finn said.  “It burned right through her shoe.  She has a huge scar on her foot.  She wasn’t even really mad at me for it.” Finn shrugged.  “She just said the scar made her look even more badass.  Trust me—Raven doesn’t hold a grudge.  She’ll probably just thank you for saving her.”

“I wish I could believe you,” Clarke replied.

“You don’t have to believe me,” Finn said.  “You just have to wait until she wakes up again and then you’ll see that I’m right.  And I guarantee she’ll also comment about having a new scar to make her look even more badass.  Because that’s Raven.  She’s always been a fighter and she always tries to find the good in even a shitty situation.  And if she can forgive her mom for the things she’s done, she definitely isn’t going to blame you for something that’s not even your fault.”

Clarke sighed and looked over at Raven.  “I guess we’ll see.”

“Yeah, we will,” Finn replied.

***

Clarke nodded to the guard as he opened the tent flap for her.  When she walked into Lexa’s tent, she quickly realized the Commander was not alone.  There were four others in the tent with her, all circled around her table, looking down at the papers that sat on top.  Lexa was staring down at the table, a slight crease between her eyebrows, as one of the men talked.  After a moment, though, she looked up and locked eyes with Clarke.

“They are weak here,” he said, jabbing his finger toward what Clarke now realized was a map.  “This is where we should attack.

“That is why they will expect us to attack there,” Lexa calmly said.  “Now, I have other business to attend to.”

“Heda—”

“Leave us,” Lexa interrupted.

The man nodded but seemed reluctant to do so.  Clarke could see how tense they were, and she could tell they were not pleased to be dismissed for her.

“You wished to see me, Commander?” Clarke said as the four men passed by her.

“Yes, come in,” Lexa replied.

Clarke walked toward Lexa, stopping on the other side of the table and glancing down.  She didn’t know if Lexa was okay with her seeing everything, but since she made no move to put the papers away, she figured it was okay.  When she looked down, there were drawings of what she assumed was the layout of the area around the mountain.

“My scouts have been sending back reports,” Lexa said.  “Most of them have died, but they’ve managed to send some useful information before their deaths.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke replied.

“They sacrificed for their people; there is no need to be sorry,” Lexa said.

Clarke nodded.  “Right.”

Since finding out the truth about Lexa being the Commander, Clarke couldn’t help wondering if her appearing not to care was an act.  Considering how Lexa seemed to do everything for her people, she found it hard to believe that Lexa was so nonchalant about their deaths.  Yes, it was for the greater good, but she still didn’t believe Lexa was completely unaffected by it.  Clarke wondered if it was just her way of coping.  Like if she didn’t show emotion then she wouldn’t feel it as much.

“I was told Raven is awake,” Lexa said after a few moments.

“Yes, she awoke just before dusk,” Clarke replied.

“Is there anything I should have sent?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head but stopped.  “Actually, Nyko said there is a plant around here that is known for relieving pain.  But he also said they had used the last of it a while ago.  I was wondering if it would be possible to send someone out to gather it.  Or if someone could tell me what it looks like, I could go myself.”

“It would be dangerous and I cannot ask someone to go,” Lexa replied.  “But I will see if there are any volunteers.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said.

“Now, we have a few things we need to discuss,” Lexa stated.  “The ambassador for the Floukru arrived this afternoon with leaders from several of their villages.”

“Were those the four men who just left?” Clarke asked.

Lexa gave her a brisk nod.  “They want to attack Mount Weather in two days’ time.”

“Two days?” Clarke said, leaning against the table.  “That’s insane.”

“I agree,” Lexa replied.  “We need to strike as soon as possible, but we cannot be prepared in two days.  It will take longer than that for all of my army to arrive in Polis.  We have struck a blow to them, but we must not underestimate the Mountain.  They will be ready for us and we must be prepared if we wish to finally rid ourselves of them.  Attacking too soon will only result in great loses on our side.  We cannot rush into battle.  But that does not mean we can rest.”

“What is your plan?” Clarke wondered.

Lexa sighed.  “I don’t know.  My army will outnumber theirs, but that will not matter if we cannot get inside.  And we have been unsuccessful with getting close to any of their doors.  Even with our numbers, I don’t know if we can overpower them.  With the artificial intelligence controlling everything around Mount Weather, we cannot hope for a mistake that we can use to our advantage.  Because it does not make mistakes.”

“We’ll think of something,” Clarke promised.  “We didn’t come this far to fail now.  I know people are anxious to destroy the Mountain, but we have time.  Raven made sure of that.” Clarke paused as she looked over at Lexa.  We’ll figure it out.  We’ll finish what we started when you first spoke to me in the pub.”  She gave Lexa a slight smile.  “I promise.”

***

Clarke stared at the fire in front of her, finding herself slightly hypnotized by the flames dancing around.  She was exhausted, but she was almost too tired to go to sleep.  Which is how she found herself sitting outside, in front of the fire.

Even though it was late, she wasn’t the only one still out.  The people in the village were still working, and she wondered if they did this every night or if it was because Lexa was there.  She could see in their eyes how much they all respected her any time she left her tent and passed by the villagers.  It was the complete opposite of Arkadia.  These people weren’t wary of their leader; these people revered her.

As she watched a woman with her small child, Clarke couldn’t help feeling a pang in her chest.  She wished her mother and father could be there.  She felt like they would know exactly what to do while Clarke felt like she was growing more and more lost.  She’d discussed strategies with Lexa, attempted to ease Raven’s discomfort, and had represented the people of Arkadia while talking to the Floukru ambassador, but she felt like she had failed at all of it.  The whole time, in the back of her mind, she was terrified she would make a wrong decision and it would lead to more deaths.

Clarke wiped away her tears before they could fall.  She kept thinking about her father and how he always seemed to know exactly what to say or do.  He was the kind of person the people of Arkadia could always depend on.  Now he wasn’t even himself and he may never be again.  For all she knew, he wasn’t even alive.  Just like her mom and all of her friends.

It was the thing she probably feared most.  That they would all be killed simply for knowing her.  Even the ones who knew nothing about what happened or why were probably still vulnerable.  From everything she knew about the Mountain and about the people who were helping the AI, she had little doubt they would torture and kill her friends and family to set an example.  Or to just get information out of them.  Information they may or may not have.

“You gonna stare at that all night?”

Clarke looked up at Finn, who was standing on the other side of the fire.  When he walked around the fire and took a seat next to her, she noticed he had a new coat on, one that looked like it was made from animal furs.

“Where did you get that?” Clarke asked, nodding toward the coat.

“Oh, uh, Lexa saw me walking around earlier without a coat, so she had someone bring it to me,” Finn replied.  “She’s actually not so bad.”

“No, she isn’t,” Clarke agreed.

Finn smiled.  “Of course you’d say that.”

“What does that mean?” Clarke asked.

“That means you like her,” Finn replied.  “Even after she kidnapped you and threatened you if I remember you telling me the story correctly.”

“I—” Clarke closed her mouth.

“And you can’t even lie and say you don’t,” Finn said.

Clarke rolled her eyes.  “We have more important things to worry about, Finn.”

“Do we?” Finn asked.  “Because I’m pretty sure there’s nothing we can do right now, and if I don’t find something to take my mind off it, I’m going to go crazy.  So I think this is the perfect time to talk about it.”

“I’m not going to talk about this,” Clarke firmly said.

“Why?” Finn asked.  “Afraid you’ll admit the truth?”

“Finn—” Clarke sighed.

The truth was Clarke didn’t entirely know what she felt for Lexa.  She had instantly been attracted to her at the pub and had found herself falling for her more every time she spent time with her.  But after Lexa had held a dagger to her throat and kidnapped her, things had obviously changed.  She was still attracted to Lexa, but it was hard to forgive everything that had happened.  She understood why Lexa had done it, but it was hard to ignore that Lexa had lied to her about everything when they met.  Sometimes she felt like she was dealing with two entirely different people—Lexa and the Commander.

“Alright,” Finn said with a shrug of his shoulders.  “I just thought it’d take both of our minds off things.  You looked like you were worrying again.”

“I always worry,” Clarke replied.

“Well, you shouldn’t,” Finn said.  “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“You can’t know that,” Clarke quietly replied before standing up and walking away.

***

Clarke heard a twig snapping and paused, listening for any sound that would tell her she wasn’t alone.  There was nothing but the rustle of the limbs and the sound of something skittering across the ground, though, so Clarke began walking again.

She didn’t even know where she was going, but she did know she needed to get out of the village.  Now that it was a new day, everyone was out of their homes as they went about their everyday lives, and Clarke didn’t really want to be around so many people at the moment.  Even if no one was saying anything to her or really even acknowledging her existence, it was still too much.  She needed to be alone even if it was only for a few hours.

Clarke froze, hearing what sounded an awful lot like leaves crunching under someone’s foot.  Her heart instantly started pounding and she slowly began pulling the dagger out of the back of her pants.  Before she had freed the blade completely, though, she felt a hand wrap tightly around her wrist and the dagger was pulled out of her grasp.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone, Clarke,” Lexa said from behind her.  “It isn’t safe.  You never know who could be out here with you.”

“How long have you been following me?” Clarke asked.

“One of the guards informed me the moment you left,” Lexa said, releasing Clarke’s wrist.  “I wondered how long it would take you to know I was following you.  You really need to be more observant.  If I had been anyone else, you would have been dead the moment you stepped outside the gates.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Clarke replied, rubbing her wrist.

“You should also always have your weapon by your side,” Lexa added.  “It takes too long to reach behind your back.  You will be dead before you ever have it in your hand.”

“Is this your way of showing you care?” Clarke joked.

Lexa opened her mouth for a moment but closed it and held out the dagger she had given to Clarke while in Polis.  “Show me how you would hold this.”

Clarke took the dagger with a frown and gripped the handle.  “Like this.”

Before Clarke could even realize what was happening, Lexa had knocked the dagger out of her hand and had her hand on Clarke’s throat.

“Try again,” Lexa instructed as she released Clarke.

Clarke picked up the dagger, partly expecting Lexa to attack while she was vulnerable, but the other woman remained rooted to the spot.  When Clarke had the dagger in her hand again, Lexa took a step forward and repositioned her thumb.

“If you put it here you will have better control,” Lexa stated.  “However, you will never win a fight if you stand the way you are standing.”

“And what is wrong with the way I’m standing?” Clarke asked.

“Move your feet apart a little more,” Lexa said, hitting Clarke’s foot with her own.  “You’re leaning back too much on your right leg.  You should stand equally on them.” Lexa reached down, pushing on the back of Clarke’s leg.  “Bend your knees a little.  And always make sure you protect yourself with your other arm.  It may get injured, but at least you will not drop your weapon if it does.  Now, attack me again.”

Clarke shook her head.  “I’m never going to be able to win against someone who has been training their whole life.”

“It’s not about winning,” Lexa replied.  “It is about surviving.”

“So, is that what we’re doing right now?” Clarke asked.  “Surviving?”

“You have to survive to be able to defeat the enemy, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “Now, block my attack.”

It took Clarke a moment to register what Lexa had just said.  She immediately found herself in the defense, backing up as Lexa came at her swiftly and with more force than Clarke had expected.

She tried to block Lexa’s attack, but she soon found herself lying on the cold, hard ground, staring up at the other woman.

“Let’s try again,” Lexa said.

“You know, I really just wanted to have a few hours to myself,” Clarke remarked as she looked up at Lexa.  “I wasn’t planning on an impromptu fighting lesson.”

“There’s never a bad time to learn to defend yourself, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “It is something you should have learned years ago.”

“It wasn’t exactly a priority in Arkadia,” Clarke said, sitting up.  “If we were taught anything, it was to defend the city with guns.”

“Yes, and your reliance on those weapons is one of your people’s weaknesses,” Lexa replied.  “The only thing you should rely on is yourself.”

“Then why am I using this?” Clarke asked, holding up the dagger.

“One step at a time,” Lexa replied.

***

“You have been very silent,” Lexa commented as they walked through the forest.

“I thought you preferred the quiet,” Clarke replied, glancing at Lexa out of the corner of her eye.  “If I recall, you once told me my people were afraid of silence.”

“That hasn’t stopped you before,” Lexa said, and Clarke could see that she was watching her.  “The only time you are silent is when you have something on your mind.  Is that why you came out here to be alone?”

Clarke paused for a few moments before saying, “Yes.”

“You are still worried,” Lexa said, and it was more of a statement than a question.  “About the people you left behind.”

“Among other things,” Clarke replied.

“Is this also about your friend?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded.  “I checked on her this morning.” Clarke took a deep breath and slowly released it.  “Her leg is numb and I’m afraid there could be nerve damage.  If there is, she’s going to need more help than I can give her.  She’s going to need my mom and medical supplies that we don’t have here.  Even then, there’s no guarantee she’ll ever be able to walk normally again.”

“You still feel responsible,” Lexa said.

“That usually isn’t something that just goes away in an instant,” Clarke replied.  “As much as I wish it would.”

“Does Raven hold you responsible?” Lexa asked.  “You have spoken to her since she’s been awake, haven’t you?”

Clarke frowned.  “Yes.”

“And has she told you she believes it is your fault?” Lexa asked.

“No,” Clarke replied.

“Then you have your answer,” Lexa said.  “She does not hold you responsible and neither should you, Clarke.  You and Raven have both done what you needed to do.  All of this is just a part of war.  And in war, there are sacrifices that must be made in order to win.  This war started long before you and your friends joined it.  Many lives have already been lost.  Many sacrifices have already been made.  Raven has succeeded where others have not; she has given us our first victory in the war.  You should both be happy.”

“I’ll be happier when I know she’s going to be okay,” Clarke replied.

“Are you still going to remain with us?” Lexa asked.

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked back.

“No one is forcing you to be here,” Lexa replied.  “You’re free to go if you wish.  I was wondering if you plan on staying or if you were going to leave now that our work in Arkadia is done.  I know you were only with us because you were worried about what may happen to your home, but now that the threat is gone from there, we have no reason to attack it.”

Clarke paused.  It hadn’t really crossed her mind to leave now.  Lexa was right, though—she had helped them to ensure that Lexa wouldn’t march an army on Arkadia, but now that she had no reason to do that, Clarke could go.  Still, she couldn’t imagine leaving now when they still had Mount Weather to defeat.  She may not be the best fighter or strategist, but she felt like she needed to help in any way she could.  After all, all of their lives were in danger as long as the AI still existed.  She knew it wasn’t going to give up just because they set its plans back.

“I can’t really go home, so I guess I’ll just stay with you and your people,” Clarke said as she began walking again.  “If that’s alright with you.”

“You are welcome to stay in Polis,” Lexa replied.

Clarke nodded her thanks.  Polis wasn’t quite home, but she guessed it was the closest she was going to come to it.  She knew she would probably be safer there than anywhere else and at least not everyone was a complete stranger.  Not that she would exactly call anyone in Polis a friend, but at least Lincoln was friendly enough, and some of the women who had taken care of her while she was there didn’t seem to mind her being there.

“I wonder if I’ll ever be able to go back to Arkadia again,” Clarke softly said.

“I can’t say it will be the same place you left, but I think you will be able to if that is what you want,” Lexa replied.  “We will figure out how to stop the Mountain and what is within it for good.  Once that is done and your people know the truth, they will welcome you back.  You will probably be a hero to them.”

“I don’t want to be a hero,” Clarke said, shaking her head.  “I just want to save the people I care about.”

“No,” Lexa said, looking over at her as they walked.  “You want to save everyone.  You care about people; even people you don’t know.  You want to save everyone just as I do.”

“But we both know we won’t be able to save everyone,” Clarke replied.

Lexa nodded.  “But we will do what we can.”

“I just hope that’s enough,” Clarke said with a light sigh.


	15. Ablaze

“We should send our warriors to attack the Mountain.  All of them.  We have greater numbers than they do.  We can overwhelm their army.”

Clarke already knew from talking to Lexa that what Grant was suggesting wouldn’t work.  And Ren, the man standing next to him, seemed to have come to the same conclusion as he said, “We will fail.”

“A bigger army will not matter if we cannot enter the Mountain,” Lexa said as she walked around her war table.  “They have many defenses.  They could kill all of our warriors before they ever made it inside.  Greater numbers do not matter if you cannot even get to the enemy.”

“Heda is right,” Nyko replied.  “We have seen what the Mountain can do.  They destroyed my village last winter without ever entering it.  They killed men and women, children and the elderly.  They have shown no mercy, and they will not stop until every one of us is wiped from this Earth.”

Clarke looked across the table at Nyko.  She could see the pain in his eyes and she couldn’t help wondering just how many people he had lost in the attack.  A wife? Children?  As terrible as it always was to lose the people you love, she imagined it must be even harder to be a healer and not be able to save those closest to you.

“This may be a dumb question, but has anyone ever tried to take out the dam?” Clarke asked.  “It’s supplying all the power, right?  If we took that out, the artificial intelligence would be destroyed without us ever stepping foot inside.”

“We have tried,” Lexa answered.  “It is the most heavily guarded part of the Mountain.  They have reinforced it and they have guards patrolling day and night.  Even if our warriors could get close enough, our weapons are ineffective against it.”

Clarke nodded.  “What about _our_ weapons.  Arkadia has weapons that your people don’t.  If Raven could make a bomb once, she could do it again.  Then again, the dam did survive a nuclear apocalypse, so I don’t know if even Raven could bring it down.”

“It is unlikely,” Lexa replied to Clarke before turning to the others in the room.  “But we should remember that Arkadia has resources we do not.  Maybe we can use that to our advantage.  The AI has kept our people from each other, but it can do that no longer.  Now that we are working with Clarke, we can share—”

“Heda!”

Everyone looked toward the entrance of the tent.   The boy, who didn’t appear to be any older than sixteen, looked nervous at having interrupted Lexa, but carried on toward them with hesitant steps.  As he was walking forward, Clarke noticed he was limping, and she glanced down to find his leg covered in blood

“Moba, Heda,” he said.  “I have news.”

The boy handed Lexa a folded up piece of paper and then took a step back.  Everyone’s eyes were on Lexa as her eyes flitted back and forth across the paper.  When she finally looked up, the boy took another step back as if he feared what she was about to do or say.

“Where did you get this?” Lexa asked.

“The leader of my village,” he answered.  “She sent me to warn you.  I was on my way to Polis, but as I was passing through Ettburg, I was told you were here.”

Lexa observed him for a moment and then looked over at Nyko.  “Go with him.”

Nyko nodded and led the boy out of the tent.  Everyone else watched as they went, but Clarke’s eyes were still on Lexa,  Even though her face remained passive, Clarke could see the concern in her eyes.

“We will continue this later,” Lexa announced.  “I have some things to attend to.”

Grant and Ren both nodded and immediately left, but Clarke decided to hang back.  As she stood there, she wondered if she was overstepping her bounds, but if Lexa thought she was, she remained silent about it.  In fact, Lexa didn’t say anything at all for several minutes.

“Is it about Arkadia,” Clarke said, unable to hold it in any longer.

Lexa shook her head.  “No.  It is about one of our villages to the northwest.  It was burned to the ground.  She feared their village was next.”

“Do you think they thought we were there?” Clarke wondered.

Lexa shook her head again.  “I’m sure they knew we were headed to Polis.  They cannot see within its walls, but they still know where it is. Nighton is too far away.  They struck it for another reason.”

“Why would they want to destroy it?” Clarke asked.

“Because it is where our best weapons are made,” Lexa replied.  “They know we are preparing for war and they want to stop us.”

* * *

 

Clarke was staring up at the top of her tent when she heard heavy steps outside.  She figured it was Finn since he had been popping his head in all day, but when the flap opened, it was Lexa that was standing there.

“May I come in, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“Do you really have to ask?” Clarke asked back.  “You’re the Commander, after all.  Can’t you do anything you want?”

“Yes,” Lexa replied.  “But I am not _your_ Commander.”

“That hasn’t stopped you from just walking in before,” Clarke commented.

“Clarke—”

Clarke sighed.  “What’s wrong now?  Was there another attack.”

“No,” Lexa replied.  “I just talked to Nyko and he thinks it will be safe to move Raven tomorrow.  Your friend was going to come tell you, but I told him I would do it.”

“So, I guess we’re leaving for Polis, then?” Clarke said.

Lexa nodded.  “We’ll leave at first light.  You should get a good night’s sleep.  It will be a slow journey with Raven in her condition.”

Clarke didn’t care if it took an extra day.  She was just happy Lexa wasn’t going to leave Raven behind.  Especially since they had gotten word that two more villages had been destroyed in the past few days.  She knew taking Raven was a risk since it would slow them down, which is why she had been surprised when Lexa said they would wait until it was safe to move her.

“Is anyone else coming with us?” Clarke wondered.

“Only Nyko,” Lexa answered.  “While there is often safety in numbers, remaining undetected is our best hope for survival.  The more of us, the greater chances we will be seen.” Lexa paused for a moment before opening her mouth again.  “I did offer the people of Fawne a place in Polis if they wish to travel there.”

“Do you think they’ll go?” Clarke asked.

“Some will,” Lexa replied.  “Others will try to defend the village.  I have told them our enemy will show no mercy, but many will still remain.”

“Couldn’t you just command them to go?” Clarke asked.

“If they wish to stay, that is their choice,” Lexa replied.  “I cannot make their decision for them.  My warriors have all been told to meet at Polis; the rest must decide for themselves.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Clarke said.  “I hate thinking some of these people are going to die.”

“I do not enjoy the thought either, but they must decide their own fate,” Lexa replied.

Clarke nodded.  She understood, but she still couldn’t help wondering if there was anything she could do.  Too many people had already died and she didn’t want the people there to have the same fate.  She didn’t know if the Mountain was sending drones to the villages or if they were just sending their army in or if it was something else entirely, but from the reports they were getting, they were leaving nothing behind but rubble and bodies.

“You haven’t eaten,” Lexa stated.

Clarke hummed and followed Lexa’s gaze.  “Oh, yeah.  I guess I’m not very hungry.”

“You should eat,” Lexa replied.  “We have a day’s walk ahead of us.  You’ll want to keep your energy up.”

“I’ll try to eat before I go to sleep,” Clarke said.

Lexa gave her a brief nod.  “Worrying will not help anything, Clarke.  Eat and get as much sleep as you can.  We have a long walk tomorrow, and I would like to keep our stopping to a minimum.  The longer we stay in one place, the greater chances of our enemy finding us.”

“I don’t think I know how not to worry at this point,” Clarke replied, running her hand through her hair.  “I’m worried about Raven, I’m worried about my family and friends that I left behind.  I’m worried about all the people out there who are going to die and won’t see it coming.” Clarke sighed.  “And right now I’m worried that we won’t even make it to Polis.”

“Worrying will not change your fate, Clarke,” Lexa said.  “But if it makes you feel any better, I have no intention of either of us dying on the way to Polis.”

“Is that your way of saying you’ll keep me safe?” Clarke asked.

Lexa stared at her for a moment before breaking eye contact.  “I should go.  I have a lot to prepare before we leave.”

“And I should get my rest,” Clarke said.  “I hear we have a long walk ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Clarke said before Lexa turned on her heel and walked out of the tent.

* * *

 

The sky was just beginning to lighten when Clarke left her tent in the morning.  She had tried to sleep, knowing Lexa was right that she would need her energy for the long walk, but she doubted she’d gotten more than a few hours.  Instead, she found herself staring up at the top of the dark tent, eyes wide open and too much on her mind.

After lying there for most of the night, she finally decided to get up and pack her things.  Not that she had a lot to pack; she had brought very little with her from Arkadia and she had acquired only a few things since arriving at the village.  She could already hear people walking about outside the tent, though, and knew she would be summoned to leave soon.  So, she figured she would get a jump on things so she could leave as soon as possible.

Clarke was ready to be get back to Polis.  It wasn’t home, but it was the closest she was going to get to it right now.   At least it felt more permanent than Fawne did, not to mention safer, and that was something she could really use at the moment.  She had spent the last twelve years of her life in Arkadia, never leaving the city walls, and being outside in the world made her feel more vulnerable than she cared to admit.

“You’re awake.”

Clarke was only a few steps from the tent when she heard Lexa’s voice.  It was softer than usual and she sounded a little surprised.

“I should have known you would already be up,” Clarke said before looking over at Lexa.

A slight smile flitted across Lexa’s face, but it was gone as quickly as it came.  “We’ll be leaving as soon as the sun has risen.  Nyko and Finn are preparing what they need to move Raven.”

Clarke nodded.  “How do they plan to move her?”

“I believe Finn called it a stretcher,” Lexa replied.  “He said they’re used in Arkadia to carry the wounded.”

“Yes,” Clarke said.  “It should be a bit easier than getting here.  My shoulders still hurt from that.”

“You do not grow stronger without a little pain, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “And you will need your strength for what is to come.”

“Is that your way of telling me I’m weak?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t think I need to tell you,” Lexa said.  “Physical strength was clearly not a priority in Arkadia.  I’ve been able to overpower you several times with little resistance from you.”

“That’s not true for everyone there,” Clarke replied.  “But with my father being an engineer and my mother being a doctor, I knew I would end up following in their footsteps.  The people who farm and build our homes and protect Arkadia are a different story, though.  But that doesn’t mean I’m helpless.”

“I’ve noticed,” Lexa said.  “You’re very stubborn.”

“I like to think of it as being determined,” Clarke replied, giving Lexa a smile.

Lexa’s lips parted slightly as if she was going to say something else but thought better of it.  Clarke wasn’t really surprised by it, though.  She could tell Lexa held back a lot of what she wanted to say.  Why, Clarke didn’t really know, but she often found herself wishing she could read Lexa’s thoughts.  She wanted to get to know Lexa better, but it was impossible when Lexa said so little most of the time.

“I must meet with Grant and Ren before we set out,” Lexa stated.  “I need them to go back to their clans before they are to meet us in Polis.”

Clarke nodded.  “I’ll go check on Raven and then see if Finn and Nyko need any help.”

Lexa looked at her for a moment before slowly turning and walking away with her hand on the hilt of her sword.  As she watched Lexa head to her tent, Clarke pulled her bag up higher onto her shoulder.  After a few seconds, she shook her head and sighed to herself before she set off in the opposite direction to the tent Raven had been in for the past day.

“What’s the prognosis?  Am I gonna live, Doc?”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Raven’s question, but a smile appeared on her face, nevertheless.  “Are you going to ask that every time I walk in?”

“Until you tell me I’m all cured,” Raven answered.

“Unfortunately, that may be a while,” Clarke replied.

“Or never, right?” Raven said.

“I—”

“It’s okay,” Raven continued when Clarke looked down.  “I knew what I was getting myself into.  And who knows, right?  Maybe I’ll be skipping again in no time.”

“You make it sound like it’s something you do all the time,” Clarke replied, taking the seat next to Raven’s bed.

“Seems like as good a time to start as any,” Raven said, shrugging.

Clarke gave a light laugh.  “Let’s just get you to Polis first.  Then we can work on getting you up and skipping.”

* * *

 

“Can we rest for a sec?” Finn asked, releasing a heavy breath.

“Is that your way of saying I’m fat?” Raven asked.

“What? No! I just need to—” Finn shook his head when a smile appeared on Raven’s face.  “You’re terrible.”

“I’m bored is what I am,” Raven replied.  “You know how much I hate doing nothing.”

“Clarke, do your friends always talk this much?” Lexa asked, looking over at the blonde.

“It shouldn’t come as a surprise to you,” Clarke replied.  “You were in Arkadia with them.  You were at the pub and the festival.  Or have you forgotten all of that?”

“I have not forgotten, Clarke,” Lexa said.

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked, looking over at Lexa, and locking eyes with her.

Silence fell between them, broken only by the sound of their footsteps against the cold ground.

Nyko cleared his throat.  “There’s a village just ahead.”

“Yes,” Lexa said.  “We will rest there for a moment if—”

Lexa trailed off and Clarke followed her gaze as she looked up toward the top of the trees.  She could see the smoke between two of the smaller trees and she could feel her heart drop.

“Maybe they’re just cooking something,” Finn said.

Clarke looked over her shoulder and she could see the doubt on Finn’s face.  There was no uncertainty on Lexa’s face, though.  They all knew what they were going to find even if Finn didn’t want to say it.

“Maybe we should just go around,” Clarke said.

“No,” Lexa replied.  “We will continue on.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Clarke said, furrowing her brows in concern.

Lexa gave her a barely-there nod.  “These are my people.”

Clarke understood, which is why she didn’t say anything else.  Instead, she followed just behind Lexa with Finn and Nyko behind her, who were carrying Raven between them in the stretcher they’d made.  When they finally made it across a small stream and down an embankment, the smell of smoke was almost overwhelming.

Even though Clarke knew what she was going to see, it still didn’t prepare her.  There were bodies here and there, some that appeared to have been gunned down and others whose bodies were burned so she had no way of telling what had killed them.  It was the third time they had come upon a scene like that, but it still didn’t make it any easier.

Mount Weather was leaving nothing behind.  They were killing everyone and burning every building to the ground.  Sometimes the people were still inside the buildings, which led Clarke to think that the people had no warning.  It was a fate no one deserved.  And to make it even worse, these were innocent people.  Mount Weather had no reason to kill them.  There were no warriors there; these were just civilians who were going about their lives.

“Jesus,” Finn mumbled as they circled around the village.  “Do you think anyone made it out?”

“If they did, we will find them in Polis,” Nyko answered.

“It looks like it happened a while ago,” Clarke commented, glancing over at Lexa.

The buildings were still smoldering slightly, but the flames were long gone. The smoke they had seen appeared to be coming from the trees, which must have caught fire when they set the village ablaze.  Clarke hoped it wouldn’t spread to the entire forest, but it appeared to be contained to one area and it was beginning to sprinkle.

“We need to keep moving,” Lexa said.

“Can’t we stop for just—”

“No,” Lexa said, interrupting Finn.  “Not here.”

“Okay, but maybe over there?” Finn said, nodding to the other side.

Lexa stared at Finn for a moment before glancing at Raven.  Clarke could tell she didn’t want to stop and she really couldn’t blame her.  They were too vulnerable out there and she knew Lexa wanted to get to Polis as quickly as Clarke did.  Probably more so.

“How about I take over while you rest?” Clarke suggested.

“It’s kind of heavy, Clarke,” Finn said.

“Hey!” Raven protested.

“I’m not saying _you’re_ heavy.  I just mean—”

“It’s fine,” Clarke said, interrupting Finn before he could dig himself into a hole.  “I helped get her there; I can help get her to Polis.  You’ve been carrying her all day, so it’s the least I can do.”

“You better promise not to drop me,” Raven said, pointing at Clarke.

“That will depend on how big of a pain you’re being,” Clarke replied, giving Raven a slight smile as she took the handles from Finn.

* * *

 

“Shit,” Raven said, sounding in awe as she tried to sit up in the stretcher.  “This is Polis?”

“It’s huge,” Finn commented.

Everyone seemed to notice the group at the same time.  People began crying out for Lexa the moment she was seen, which got the attention of everyone else.

The moment the gates opened, Clarke could see that things were different from the last time she arrived with Lexa.  The streets were now chaotic with people running between the injured that lined the area.  Some were being carried into the building while the dead were being carted off to some unknown location.

“It looks like Nyko was right,” Clarke said, her eyes following a woman holding a bleeding child.  “The ones who escaped came here.”

“Heda—”

Lexa nodded to Nyko in silent communication before turning her eyes on Clarke.  “Help Finn with Raven.  Take her to the room next to the one you stayed in.”

Clarke quickly walked over and took over for Nyko, who rushed over to begin administering aid to the wounded.  Lexa walked off without another word, leaving Clarke and Finn standing there with Raven.

“There’s so many of them,” Finn said as he looked around, a frown on his face.

“Come on,” Clarke replied.  “Let’s get Raven to the tower.”

“What?” Finn asked before following Clarke’s gaze.  “Oh. Right.”

Clarke and Finn began walking toward the tower.  The three remained silent as they carried Raven down the road.  All of them were looking around at the people with various expressions.  Raven looked angry, her brows furrowed into a scowl, while Finn had a mix of concern and confusion on his face.

No one tried to stop them as they walked into the tower and over to the elevator.  Clarke instructed the men to take them to the top and they did as she asked.  Soon, they were walking down the hallway, passing by the room Clarke had been held in, and into one of the rooms Clarke had never been in.

“Let’s get her onto the bed,” Clarke instructed.  “Alright, Raven, we’re going to put the stretcher onto the bed and then we’ll move you over, okay?”

“Get me onto the bed and I can do it,” Raven replied.

“Uh, no,” Finn said as they walked the stretcher over.  “We’re helping you.  I’m not gonna let you get hurt just because you hate letting people help.”

“What Finn said,” Clarke replied.

Raven sighed and laid her head back as the other two lifted the stretcher onto the bed.  She let them move her without comment, though there was some grumbling.

“Are you comfortable?” Clarke asked.

“Not really,” Raven answered.  “The leg hurts like hell.”

“We’ll see if they have anything here to make you more comfortable,” Clarke replied.

“Yeah, you do that,” Finn said, running his hand through his hair.  “There’s something I have to do.”

“Where are you going?” Raven asked as Finn began heading toward the door.  “Finn!  Clarke, I know that look on his face.  Go after him before he does something stupid that’ll get him killed.”

Clarke hesitated for a moment before hurriedly following in Finn’s footsteps.  By the time she got into the hallway, though, the door to the stairwell was closing, and no matter how quickly she ran down, Finn was always too far ahead of her.

“Finn, wait!” Clarke called out when they were finally outside in the open.  “What are you going to do?”

She could see Finn’s shoulders rise and fall as he sighed before saying, “I’m going to get help.”

“How are you going to get help?” Clarke asked, frowning.

“These people need a doctor,” Finn replied.  “And I don’t mean Nyko.  They need a real doctor.”

“And how do you—no, Finn,” Clarke said when she realized what he was saying.

“They have horses here,” Finn replied, ignoring her objections.  “I can take one of them and get Abby.  She can help them.  She can help Raven.”

“Finn, listen to me,” Clarke said, finally catching up to him, and pushing him back.  “I know you want to help, but it’s too dangerous.  If you go back to Arkadia, they will probably kill you.  And if they don’t, it’ll be because they’re going to do much worse to you.”

“I don’t care,” Finn replied.  “We’ve gotta help these people.  They’re all going to die if we don’t do something.  We need someone who knows what they’re doing and that doesn’t leave us with a lot of options.” He sighed and looked around, throwing his hands out.  “A lot of this is our fault.  If we just noticed what was happening in Arkadia months ago, we could have stopped this.  Now, all of these people are hurt and a lot more are dead.  And if I can stop any more of them from dying, I’m going to.”

“I’m not going to be able to say anything to stop you, am I?” Clarke asked.

Finn shook his head.  “I’ve gotta go back.”

Clarke looked down for a moment before looking back up at Finn and giving him a slight nod.  “Promise me you’ll come back.  I don’t think Raven would ever forgive me if you don’t.”

“I’ll be back, Clarke,” Finn replied.  “Tell Raven I promise.”

“You should ask Lexa for a horse,” Clarke said when Finn turned and began walking away.

Finn looked over his shoulder and nodded.  “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Clarke whispered to herself as she watched Finn walk down the road.


	16. Company

“Try to lie still.  I’ve stopped the bleeding, but it could start again if you pull your stitches.”

Clarke looked down at the woman who nodded at her.  She hadn’t said at word, but she at least seemed to understand what Clarke was saying to her.

She was just one of dozens, possibly hundreds, of people who had come to Polis over the past day.  Village after village was being attacked, leaving few behind, but the ones who did manage to survive were all making their way to their capital.  Clarke was doing what she could alongside Nyko and the other healers, but there were so few of them and so many wounded.

As much as Clarke hated it, she had to start putting the wounded into categories.  Those that had more superficial wounds went to those with no medical knowledge to simply be bandaged.  Clarke was mostly concentrating on the ones whose injuries were serious, but they weren’t too far gone.  Then there were the ones who she knew wouldn’t make it no matter how hard she tried.  She tried to make them as comfortable as she could, but that was all she would allow herself to do.  There were too many injured, and any time she spent on someone who would never recover was time she could be using to try to save someone who actually had a chance.

“Can you put some of the ointment on her wound and then put a bandage over it?” Clarke asked the girl who was helping her.

The kid, Ivy, was young—probably younger than her—but she did as Clarke asked and seemed interested in everything she was doing.  She clearly didn’t know a lot about medicine, but she followed instructions well, which was what Clarke needed at the moment.  She could move on to trying to save the next person while Ivy finished things up with the last.

“Clarke.”

“Lincoln,” Clarke acknowledged as she began looking over the next man in the line of injured.

“I asked Heda if I could help,” Lincoln said.

Clarke glanced up at him at the mention of Lexa.  She hadn’t seen the Commander for more than a few minutes at a time since they arrived in Polis.  While Clarke was doing everything she could to help the injured, Lexa was up in her tower, planning for war.  With both of them so busy, they hadn’t said a word to each other in the three and a half days that they’d been in Polis.

“Let me know what I can do,” Lincoln added when Clarke didn’t immediately respond.

Clarke sighed to herself as she stood up.  “Make him comfortable.  That’s all we can do.  Ivy will show you where the medicine is.”

She knew they probably shouldn’t be using medicine on those that couldn’t be helped, but it was hard enough as it was.  She hated that she wasn’t trying save them, and she figured the least she could do was make their last few hours on Earth a little less painful.

“What’s going on over there?” Clarke asked when she heard a sudden commotion.

Her heart rate picked up at the thought of more injured coming to the city.  There were already too many of them.  Clarke and the others had been working around the clock, only stopping to rest when she could no longer see straight, and it still wasn’t enough.  People that could be saved were dying because they couldn’t get to them fast enough.  The others were doing what they could, but there was only so much a person could do without any sort of medical training.

“Let them pass!”

Lexa’s command was loud, and when Clarke looked up, she saw why.  Lexa was only a few yards away, her eyes on the main gate as she walked forward.

“Are more hurt?” Clarke asked.

She was asking Lincoln, who had taken a few steps to get a better look, but she also drew Lexa’s attention.

“No,” Lexa answered.  “Finn has returned with your mother.”

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked.

“I saw them approaching while I was in the tower,” Lexa said with a slight nod.

Clarke wanted nothing more than to drop what she was doing and run out to hug her mom.  Instead, though, she bent down, checking on the nearest person, a man with a large gash on his head and burns covering most of his right leg.

“This is going to hurt, but try to stay still,” Clarke instructed.

Clarke couldn’t help glancing toward the road when she heard the sound of hooves hitting the ground.  When she looked over, Finn and her mom were riding by, and a moment later, Abby looked back at her.  It was the first time she had seen her mom in what felt like forever, but instead of rushing to each other, her mom rode by without a word.

* * *

 

“I thought you were going to get some sleep,” Lincoln said, coming up behind Clarke.

“I did,” Clarke replied.  “Just not a lot.”

She had slept for a few hours, which was the most sleep she had gotten in days, but she was still exhausted.  But so much needed to be done—so many needed to be helped—and there weren’t enough people to do it.  People were still coming to Polis at all hours of the day. Sometimes it would be a large group with dozens of wounded people and other times it would only be a lone survivor from one of the camps or villages.

“Did any more arrive?” Clarke asked, looking around the tent.

Lincoln shook his head.  “It’s been quiet.  Or as quiet as it can be around here.”

“How many more did we lose?” Clarke wondered.

“Three,” Lincoln answered.  “It would have been four, but Abby saved one of them.”

“Yeah,” Clarke softly said as she checked a man’s bandage.  “She’s good at that.”

“How’s your friend?” Lincoln asked.

“She’s been in and out today,” Clarke said, glancing across the room where Raven appeared to be asleep.  “She’s regained more feeling in her leg, though, so we’re hopeful the operation was a success.”

As the words came out of her mouth, Clarke internally rolled her eyes at herself.  It sounded like something she would say to a patient’s family rather than—a friend?  She wasn’t quite sure what Lincoln was, really.  They had been working beside each other for days and he had been one of the few who made her feel welcome in Polis right from the beginning.  He’d never been distrustful of her or acted like she was too weak to be of any use.  He had always been friendly and willing to help her or to answer questions.  So maybe they weren’t exactly friends, but he was the closest she was going to get when it came to the people of Polis.  Except maybe Lexa, but that was even harder to define than her relationship with Lincoln.

“My mom did a great job,” Clarke added.  “Raven will probably be back to her old self as soon as she heals.  Thankfully, we don’t think there will be any lasting damage.  We’re just lucky my mom arrived when she did.”

It was an understatement to say she was thankful for her mom being there.  Even if they hadn’t really spoken since she arrived, Abby had been a tremendous help.  Finn had been right; they did need her.  If she hadn’t been there, Clarke didn’t even want to think about what may have happened to Raven.

Not long after arriving back in Polis, Finn had come running into the makeshift hospital.  Raven had been in a lot of pain and was losing feeling in her leg.  Clarke had no idea what to do, but it thankfully didn’t matter.  Her mom had been nearby and immediately rushed to help Raven in a way Clarke never would have been able to.

“You should get some more rest,” Lincoln finally said after a few minutes of silence.

Clarke shook her head.  “I’m fine.  There’s too much to do.”

“At least drink something,” Lincoln said, pulling a canteen out of his bag.  “You look like you’re about to fall over.”

“I’m—” Clarke was about to protest, but she knew anything she said would be a lie.  “Thanks.”

“I can change that,” Lincoln said, nodding toward the man’s arm.

“Can you change hers, too,” Clarke replied, indicating the woman who was lying next to the man.  “I’m going to check on Raven.”

“I will if you go get some more sleep,” Lincoln said.

Clarke sighed.  “Fine.  A few more hours.”

Lincoln gave her a nod and took over for her while Clarke walked toward the back of the room, where Raven was surprisingly alone.  Clarke could only assume Finn was actually off helping others like Raven had made him promise to do instead of moping by her bed.

“You’re back,” Raven said when Clarke walked in.

“I thought you were asleep,” Clarke replied.  “I’m just going to check a few things.”

“Doc Griffin was just here,” Raven said.  “She said everything looked good.”

“That’s good to hear,” Clarke said, forcing a smile onto her face.  “I should probably go sleep some more.”

“Hey,” Raven called out when Clarke began to turn away from her.  “Why do you have that look again?”

“What look?” Clarke asked.

“That look like you blame yourself for this,” Raven replied.  “None of this is your fault.”

Clarke opened her mouth but closed it, pausing a second before saying, “I’ll check on you again in a few hours.  Get some rest.”

“Clarke!” Raven shouted as she walked away, but Clarke didn’t stop.

* * *

 

“There you are,” Finn said, looking over as Clarke walked into the tent.  “I could use your help.  I don’t exactly know what I’m doing here.”

“What are you supposed to be doing?” Clarke asked while talking over to him and the woman he was standing next to.

“Abby asked me to check their pulse and change bandages,” Finn replied.  “The bandages I got, but I can’t seem to find a pulse even though she’s clearly alive.”

“Try the neck,” Clarke said.  “And don’t be afraid to be firm.”

Finn nodded and moved his hand to the woman’s neck.  “Okay, that’s better. “ He glanced over at Clarke.  “It’s too bad I didn’t try to work at the clinic like you did.  This place has plenty of blacksmiths, so I’m not very useful here.”

“You’re plenty useful,” Clarke replied.  “If it wasn’t for you bringing my mom here, a lot more people would have died.”

“Someone had to do it,” Finn said, shrugging.

“You’ve never really said how you got her to come with you,” Clarke commented as she walked over to the next patient.

She hadn’t had a lot of time to talk to Finn since he came back, so she hadn’t gotten the chance to ask him about it.  They’d both been too preoccupied with everything else, and this was the first time she’d gotten a quiet moment with him.

“It wasn’t hard,” Finn replied.

“What did you say to her?” Clarke asked.

“The truth,” Finn replied.  “I told her there were a bunch of people that were hurt and needed her help.  The hard part was getting in.  Guards were all over the place.  Some of them I’d never even seen before.  I think they brought people in from Mount Weather, but that doesn’t really make any sense.  Why worry about Arkadia now that their plans are destroyed.”

“I don’t know,” Clarke said.  “Maybe they’re going to try again.”

“Maybe,” Finn replied.  “Anyway, the guards were all over, and I mean, like, walking down every street.  Even the alleys were almost impossible to get through without running into a guard.  The only reason I got through was because some of the guards don’t care.  I ran into Murphy and he just turned around, ignoring that I was there.  I think some of them know something’s happening but they’re too afraid to fight back.”

“That’s probably for the better,” Clarke remarked.  “Enough people have already lost their lives.”

“Yeah, well, I think a lot more are going to be lost soon,” Finn said.  “Arkadia looks like it’s about to erupt into chaos at any moment.  I think the guards are there more to keep people in rather than keeping us out.  Monty saw me from his window, so I climbed up and talked to him.  He said people are getting restless and are starting to talk.  Especially when word got out that me, you, and Raven had left and that Bellamy and Octavia had run away.  No one’s heard what happened to Wells; the Chancellor keeps saying he’s fine, but no one’s seen or talked to him.”

“Did you tell Monty anything?” Clarke wondered.

Finn ran his hand through his hair and then nodded.  “I told him what I could.  I know he isn’t going to rat us out or anything like that.  He knows where we are.  I told him if he or any of the others can escape then they should.  Arkadia isn’t safe now and it’s only going to get worse.  They need to get out of there or they’re all going to end up like your dad and Jaha.”  Finn paused for a second and shook his head.  “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have brought him up.”

“Did you see him?” Clarke asked.

Finn shook his head again.  “Your mom said he came to the house looking for you after Raven set off the bomb, but that was the last time she saw him.  He could be in the Chancellor’s house or he could be at Mount Weather.  Or maybe even somewhere else.  Has she really not told you any of this?”

“We haven’t really gotten the chance to talk,” Clarke said.  “I don’t even know if she _wants_ to talk to me.”

“She’s your mom, Clarke,” Finn replied.  “She’s probably just trying to deal with everything.  This is all new to her.  Newer than it is to us.  She probably just needs a little time.  Plus, she’s trying to help all these people, but she loves you.  The first thing she asked me when I got to your house was where you were and if you were okay.  Don’t worry, okay.  She’s wants to talk to you.  She’s probably just focusing on helping everyone first since they could die if she doesn’t.  Trust me.”

“I do,” Clarke said, giving him a small smile.  “Thank you, Finn.”

* * *

 

As the glass bottle shattered against the wall, Clarke let out a quiet sob.  Covering her face, she slowly slid down the wall as she tried taking deep breathes to calm herself.

“Did that make you feel better?”

Clarke immediately stiffened at her mother’s words and slowly looked over at her standing in the doorway.  She’d thought she was alone in her room.  She hadn’t noticed her mother following her into the tower, but she guessed she had been so focused on getting to her room before breaking down that she hadn’t heard the footsteps behind her.

“I don’t think anything is going to make me feel better right now,” Clarke answered truthfully.

“It’s hard,” Abby said, closing the door, and walking further into the room.  “It’s always hard.  Losing a patient.  I would say it gets easier, but it doesn’t.”

“How old do you think he was?” Clarke asked.

Abby sighed and hesitated for a moment before saying, “Nine.  Maybe ten.”

“I wish all of this would stop, but it seems like it just keep getting harder,” Clarke said.  “Every time I think things are getting better, I have to watch someone else die.”  Clarke shook her head and furrowed her brows.  “I don’t know how you do it.  I’ve never even met any of these people before; I can’t imagine what it would be like to have known them most of my life.”

“You have to try to focus on the people you help, not the people you’ve lost,” Abby replied.  “It’s still not easy, but you have to try not to blame yourself.  Sometimes you can do everything right and you still lose the person.  Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do, and that isn’t your fault.  You’ll never forget any of them, but you can’t hold guilt for all of them.”

“Maybe I’ll learn to do that one day,” Clarke said.

Abby nodded and then looked at her daughter for a few seconds before walking over and sitting down on the ground next to her.  “We should talk.”

“Do we even have time for that?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t think anyone down there is critical,” Abby replied.  “They’ll be okay for a few minutes.” Abby paused for a moment.  “Why didn’t you come to me, Clarke?  Why didn’t you come to me and tell me what was happening?  You could have asked for my help.  You shouldn’t have had to do all of this alone.”

“Because I didn’t—” Clarke sniffed and wiped away the tear that was already falling down her cheek.  “I didn’t know how to tell you that dad isn’t himself.  I didn’t know how to tell you that he’s probably gone and there’s nothing either of us can do about it.”

“We don’t know that,” Abby replied.  “After all, I am a surgeon.  Whatever they did to Jake, maybe I can help with it.  Or maybe you’re right.  Maybe we won’t be able to do anything about it.  But we’ll deal with that if the time comes.  Right now, I’m going to choose to believe that my husband isn’t lost forever.”

Clarke nodded while tears freely fell down her cheeks.  She wanted to believe there was something her mom could do, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up.

“I wish you hadn’t decided to take all of this on yourself,” Abby said, wrapping her arms around her daughter.  “I wish you hadn’t been alone.”

“I wasn’t alone,” Clarke replied.  “I had friends and—”

“Lexa,” Abby finished for her before pulling away.  “You care about her.  Even though I heard from Finn that she kidnapped you at knife point?  Which I think I’m going to have to have a talk with her about.”

“She was just doing what she thought was best,” Clarke said.  “She was trying to save everyone.  It’s hard to fault her for that.”

“I don’t fault her for trying to save everyone, but I do have a problem with her threatening your life,” Abby replied.

“I’ve forgiven her,” Clarke stated.  “I don’t want you holding what happened against her.”

“And that matters to you?” Abby asked.

“Things are complicated,” Clarke said.

“They usually are,” Abby replied with a slight smile.  “Come on.  We should get back down there.  Unless you want to rest.  I know you’ve barely slept since I’ve been here and I suspect that was no different before I arrived.”

“It’s fine,” Clarke said.  “I’m fine.  I rested some earlier today.”

Abby nodded.  “Do you still want to do this?  You don’t have to if it’s too hard.”

“It is, but watching more die because I didn’t try to help them would be even worse,” Clarke replied as she stood.

* * *

 

Clarke raised her hand but lowered it a moment later as she stared at the large door in front of her.  It was late and she was just going back to her room to get a little sleep, but she’d found herself walking to Lexa’s door instead of her own.  She wasn’t even really sure why.  Surely Lexa was already asleep and the last thing she wanted to do was wake her.  Even though she hadn’t really talked to her much since arriving in Polis, she could see on her face how tired she was and how much everything was weighing on her.

Clarke hesitated for another moment or two before finally turning and walking down the hall.  Before she got halfway to her door, though, she heard the scrapping of Lexa’s door behind her, and when she looked over her shoulder, Lexa was standing there.  The black war paint was gone and Lexa was in a dark green top and a pair of shorts.  It was a look Clarke had seen several times, but it still always seemed to take her by surprise.  It was when Lexa was like that that Clarke could really notice how Lexa was barely any older than she was.

“I figured you would be asleep,” Clarke said.

“I wasn’t,” Lexa replied.  “I thought I heard someone standing outside the door.”

“Where are you guards?” Clarke asked, taking a few steps forward.

“I told them to go to their houses,” Lexa answered.  “They deserved a break.”

Clarke nodded.  “I guess it’s been a long week for everyone.”

“I was informed you lost a patient today,” Lexa said.

Clarke opened her mouth but closed it and nodded.  She really didn’t know what to say.  She was trying to listen to her mother’s words and not blame herself, but she kept thinking of how she could have done things different.  How if she had just acted a little quicker or had a little more experience then maybe the boy would still be alive.

“You have done well,” Lexa stated.  “You have helped many of my people.”

Clarke shook her head.  “Don’t.  If I had been better, maybe none of this would even be happening.”

“This is not your fault, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “You could not have known about any of this.  I am the one that knew about it and was unable to stop my people from suffering.” Lexa looked down.  “If I had acted sooner and with more force, maybe things would be better now.”

“Maybe,” Clarke said.  “Or maybe you wouldn’t be here right now and things would be even worse.”

Clarke slowly reached out and took Lexa’s hand.  She felt Lexa’s hand twitch and expected her to pull away, but she didn’t break contact.  Instead, Lexa looked down at their joined hands and then back up at Clarke.

“Lexa—”

Clarke stopped and sighed.  She didn’t know what she wanted to say to her or why she had almost knocked on her door in the first place.  She just knew that Lexa probably understood how she had been feeling better than just about anyone.  It had been a long, hard day—probably her hardest ever—and she needed to be with someone who got it.  And while she could have gone to her mom or Finn or Lincoln, she soon found herself standing in front of Lexa’s door.  It wasn’t a conscious decision and she’d had every intention of just going to bed when she walked into the tower, but the higher she went, the more she realized she didn’t really want to be alone in her room despite how exhausted she was.

“Why are you here, Clarke?” Lexa asked as if she’d read her mind.

“I don’t know,” Clarke said.  “I guess I just didn’t want to be alone right now.”

Lexa nodded.  “Why didn’t you go to Finn? Or Raven?”

“Because I—” Clarke shook her head and looked down.  A few seconds later, though, Lexa took a step forward and put her hand against Clarke’s cheek, lifting her head up so they were looking at each other.  Clarke’s eyes darted down to Lexa’s lips, but before she could do anything, Lexa was already pulling her closer, bringing their lips together.  Even though the action surprised Clarke, she soon found herself with her hands on Lexa’s waist as she kissed her back.

Part of Clarke knew they should probably stop, but rather than slowing things down, she only deepened the kiss.  As she opened her mouth and ran her tongue along Lexa’s lip, silently asking for permission, Lexa began pulling Clarke toward the open door behind them.  Even when Lexa broke the kiss to close the door behind them, Clarke still didn’t try to slow things down.  Soon, she was raising her arms so Lexa could pull her shirt off, all thoughts of stopping gone from her mind.


	17. Stay

Clarke was sitting on the edge of the bed when she looked over her shoulder at Lexa, who was still asleep.  Lexa was sleeping on her stomach, and the tattoo covering her back was on full display.  It was the first time Clarke had gotten a good look at it, only getting a brief glance at it the night before, and she almost wished Lexa was awake so she could ask her what it meant.  Clarke was hoping she would get out of Lexa’s room before she woke, though, and she knew she needed to get out soon if that was going to happen.

With one more look at Lexa, Clarke stood and began quietly gathering her clothes.  They were scattered around the room from the door to the bed, and she couldn’t help shaking her head when she thought about how quickly they had come off.

“You’re leaving,” Clarke heard from behind her as she was getting her underwear on.

Clarke paused for a moment and then pulled her shirt over her head before turning around to face Lexa.  “I thought I should get down there.  They may need my help.”

“Yes,” Lexa replied as she sat up, running her hand through her hair.  “We should not neglect our duties.”

“Lexa—”

“You should go,” Lexa interrupted.

Clarke sighed and put the rest of her clothes on.  “I wasn’t trying to sneak out.  I mean—I guess I was, but it isn’t because I don’t want to see or talk to you.  Last night was a surprise and I just wanted to have the time to process it before we talked.  It wasn’t a bad surprise, though; I don’t regret what happened.”

Lexa stood up without a word and began picking her clothes up just as Clarke had done.  She also seemed to be avoiding looking at Clarke, which didn’t seem like her.  Clarke had quickly learned that Lexa could shut any emotion down, but this felt different.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Clarke said.

“You did not upset me, Clarke,” Lexa replied while she began to dress.

“I don’t believe you,” Clarke said.  “Because either I’ve upset you or you wish last night hadn’t happened.  I may not know you very well, but your body language isn’t that difficult to read.  And you always get more formal when you’re angry or upset.  It’s a defensive mechanism.  You also do it any time you’ve finally relaxed around me because I think it makes you feel vulnerable, so you go back to it as a way of keeping me out.”  Clarke paused as Lexa stared at her with an unreadable expression on her face.  “What I’m trying to say is that if I’ve hurt you, you can tell me.  It doesn’t make you vulnerable.”

“I have things to attend to,” Lexa replied.  “I should not have slept so late.”

“Right,” Clarke said.  “I’ll go.”

Clarke turned and walked to the door, but just as she put her hand out to open it, Lexa said, “I do not regret it, either.”

“Good,” Clarke said over her shoulder.

Clarke left it at that and slipped out of the room, knowing if she pushed Lexa too far that it would only make things worse.  Unfortunately, as soon as she walked out of Lexa’s room, she almost ran straight into Indra, who had her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.  Clarke froze as soon as she saw the older woman, expecting to get a verbal lashing from her.  But after a few moments, Indra walked around her and knocked on Lexa’s door, not bothering to wait for a response before walking in without acknowledging Clarke.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief and began walking toward her room to change clothes, but the relief was short lived.  After taking a few steps, she heard Indra’s voice from the other room.  She was speaking in their other language and Clarke didn’t understand a word of it, but she did understand the tone, but she turned to listen, nonetheless.

“Enough!” Lexa eventually said, her voice clear even through the door.

“I do not want to see you fall because of that girl,” Indra said, clearly undeterred by Lexa.  “Don’t be weakened by her influence.”

“I am not influenced by Clarke,” Lexa firmly replied.  “What happened last night doesn’t mean anything.  Clarke and I do not have feelings for each other.”

Clarke frowned at Lexa’s words, feeling an unexpected pang of hurt.  Instead of listening to the rest of the conversation, Clarke turned and walked to her room.  Not only did she not want to risk being caught eavesdropping, but she also wasn’t sure if she really wanted to hear the rest of their conversation.

* * *

 

“How does she look?” Abby asked.

“Good,” Clarke said as she made a note about the patient.  “Her cut is healing and doesn’t look as if it’s infected, and she’s able to put pressure on her ankle again.”

“Great,” Abby replied, looking down at the middle aged woman.  “I think this means you’re free to go.  I’ll ask Penn to bring you some bandages and ointment by and he’ll show you how to change it.  And do change the bandage.  Make sure you keep your wound clean, okay.  We don’t want it to become infected.  Come back if you have any questions or think anything is wrong, okay?”

As her mom talked to the woman, Clarke noticed a lot of the people on the street looking toward the front gate.  Clarke knew what that probably meant and she just hoped there weren’t too many injured in the group since they had finally gotten a handle on things.  Abby had performed the last surgery that needed to be done immediately and they were now mostly trying to make sure no one’s wounds became infected.  The ones who were the most stable were now being sent off, taken in by the Polis residents, but that still left them with quite a few patients who weren’t ready to be moved.

“Clarke!” Finn said, running into the tent, and looking around for a moment before spotting her and rushing over.  “It’s them.  It’s others from Arkadia.”

“At the gate?” Clarke asked.

Finn nodded.  “There’s a lot of them.”

Clarke dropped what she was holding onto the table and quickly ran out of the tent.  As she ran down the road to the group at the gate, she could hear Finn’s footsteps just behind her.  She figured her mom probably wasn’t behind, but she didn’t look over her shoulder to see.  She wasn’t going to let anything slow her down; she wanted to get to the group to make sure her friends were okay.  Or if any of her friends were even there.

“Let them through,” Clarke commanded when she saw that there guards were keeping everyone back.

“Heda—”

“I don’t care what she told you to do!” Clarke replied, cutting him off.  “I know these people.  They’re not from Mount Weather.”

“You may let them through,” Lexa said from behind her, and Clarke looked over, giving her a slight smile in thanks.

“Clarke!” Monty said, rushing through as soon as he saw her.

Clarke couldn’t help the smile on her face when Monty walked over and pulled her into a tight hug.  “You’re okay.”

“Barely,” Jasper remarked, coming up to them.

“I didn’t know if I would ever see you guys again,” Clarke said, receiving a hug from Jasper.

“You probably wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for Bellamy and Octavia,” Monty replied.  “And Finn, of course.”

“What about me?” Murphy asked.

“Yes, it was very big of you not to shoot us,” Monty replied.

“What happened?” Clarke wondered, and she noticed that Lexa was also listening.

“We were ordered to shoot anyone that left their house,” Murphy said.

“That’s when we knew we couldn’t stay there anymore,” Monty added.  “I knew we should leave after what Finn told me, but once they were willing to kill all of us, I knew we _had_ to leave.  Thankfully, I could communicate with Jasper through our walkie-talkies.”

“Yeah, and then I told everyone I could about our plan,” Jasper said.  “Since Monroe lives in the same building as me, I could talk to her without being out of my house.  I told her why they were being ordered to kill us if we left and she passed it on to some of the other guards.”

“The ones who weren’t willing to shoot us,” Monty added.  “With their help, we were all able to get out one night.  We were caught, but the guards still had their guns, so it was them against the others.  We tried to get as many people as we could to come with us, but a lot of people wouldn’t.”

“Was anyone hurt?” Clarke asked.

“Miller’s shoulder was grazed, but no one was seriously injured,” Monty answered.

“You mentioned Bellamy and Octavia,” Finn said.  “Are they with you?”

“Yeah, we’re right here,” Bellamy replied as he made his way through the crowd with his sister by his side.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of so many of her friends.  She was worried that she would never see any of them again, but here they all were.  Well, almost all of them.

“Any news on Wells?” Clarke asked.

Monty shook his head.  “Sorry.  No one’s seen him.”

“Not to interrupt our little reunion, but is there any way I can get a little help?” Octavia asked.

“She twisted her ankle when we were going through the woods,” Bellamy said, his arm wrapped around his sister.

“Yes, we have a medical tent over—”

“I’ll show them,” Abby said from behind her.  “We’ll be okay for a while if you want to show your friends around.”

“Please tell me there’s an empty bed with my name on it,” Jasper said, looking eagerly at Clarke.

“I’ll have to talk to someone first before I can promise you anything,” Clarke replied as she glanced over at Lexa.

* * *

 

“Hey,” Clarke softly greeted.

“Hey,” Bellamy replied, looking over at her.

“Tell him I can go,” Octavia said.

“Tell her she needs to rest because she won’t listen to me,” Bellamy replied.

“You can actually go,” Clarke put her hand on Octavia’s shoulder when she tried to move, “but not quite yet.  They’re setting up a room for you and Bellamy to stay in.  You’ll be sharing it with Monty and Jasper.  A few of the others will be in the same building with you.”

“Are you staying there, too?” Bellamy asked.

Clarke shook her head.  “I’ve been staying in the tower.  Finn and Raven are both up there as well.  You’ll be in one of the houses below.  A lot of the people who live here are taking people in, and some of them were willing to take our people.”

“Our people?” Bellamy replied.

“That’s all great,” Octavia said as Clarke opened her mouth.  “But when can I get out of here?”

“Lincoln is going to let me know once everything is step up,” Clarke answered.

“So, this place,” Bellamy said, glancing around.  “Are we even safe here?”

“You’re safer here than you’ll be anywhere else,” Clarke replied.  “If any drone tries to come here, the archers will shoot it down.  They have towers around the city, where someone watches out for them twenty-four hours a day.”

“And those are those things we saw flying around, right?” Bellamy asked.

Clarke nodded.  “We think they may be using them to attack villages.  There have been survivors from some of the attacks that have reported not seeing anyone.  They’ve been happening in the middle of the night with no warning.  People are being shot and the villages are being burned to the ground with people still in the houses.  Some of the others are being done by people, though.  Those are usually the ones with more survivors because they have something to fight against.”

“I still don’t get how all of this is happening,” Bellamy said.  “I don’t see how there’s this thing out there that basically destroyed the world.  How were we kept in the dark for so long?  How did we know none of these people existed?  Look at this place!  How did none of us see it before?”

“Because we were kept away from it,” Clarke replied.  “We knew there were other settlements, but how many of us were allowed to talk to the people in them?  When Arkadia traded with them, it was always the Chancellor who set it up.  We were all too afraid to leave the city.”

“Because he made us afraid,” Octavia added.

“As long as we stayed where we were, Lexa wasn’t going to interfere with us,” Clarke said.  “We were not a threat to her or her people.  But then things changed when she realized Chancellor Jaha was working for Mount Weather.”

“How did she know?” Bellamy asked.

“Because he agreed to a meeting,” Clarke explained.  “They each sent five people.  They were supposed to talk, but our guards killed all but one of them.  She thought all of us were under the AI’s influence but realized it was only a few.  Unfortunately, one of them was the person with the most power over Arkadia.” Clarke sighed.  “We’ve set it back for the time being thanks to Raven, but it’s not going to stop until we’re all dead.  It wants to finish what it started.”

“I don’t get why it waited so long,” Bellamy said.

“Maybe something changed,” Octavia replied.

“Maybe,” Clarke agreed.  “What change, though, we don’t know.  We do know their villages are being attacked because that thing in the Mountain finally realized they know about it.  We stopped it for now, but at a price.” Clarke looked over and saw Lincoln quietly standing by, and then looked back to Octavia.  “It looks like you’re finally getting your wish to leave.”

“It’s about time,” Octavia replied, trying to move to get out of bed.

“Not so fast,” Clarke said.  “I want you to stay off that ankle for at least a few days.”

“I can—”

“I’ve got her,” Lincoln said, interrupting Bellamy before walking over and easily picking Octavia up.

Clarke tried not to laugh at the scowl on Bellamy’s face or the look of delight on Octavia’s.  “This is Lincoln.  He’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”

“Perfect,” Octavia replied.

“Wonderful,” Bellamy said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

 

Clarke looked up at the wooden ladder in front of her and then glanced around.  She had no idea if she was allowed to go up on the wall, but she really didn’t care.  And since no one looked like they were going to try to stop her, Clarke began ascending the ladder, hoping she didn’t fall as it creaked with every step.

When Clarke finally got to the stop, she slowly stood and looked over her shoulder.  People were out on the streets, but it was much more subdued than the first time she had been in Polis.  While news of the attacks had slowed and there were far less injured showing up, things were still very somber.  Not only had a lot of the people there lost loved ones, but they all knew war was coming, which would only mean more loss.

“Hey, Clarke,” Monty said, and a moment later, she heard him coming up the ladder.  “Okay, this is a little scary.”

“Be careful,” Clarke said when she heard the ladder make a particularly loud noise.

A few seconds later, Monty finally appeared at the top of the wall with a look of relief on his face.  “I think they need a new one of those.”

“What are you doing up here?” Clarke asked.

“I was over there,” Monty said, motioning toward the square.  “I saw you coming up here and thought I’d see if everything was okay.”

Clarke sighed as she turned around and sat down on the wall so her feet were dangling over the side.  Monty looked apprehensive about doing the same, but slowly edged over, sitting down next to Clarke.

“Am I to take your silence as a no?” Monty asked.

“Look at all of them,” Clarke said, ignoring Monty’s question.

“What are they doing?” Monty asked, craning his neck to try to get a better look.

“They’re burning the bodies,” Clarke answered.  “Lexa told me it’s what they do.  They don’t bury their dead like we do.  They have a ceremony and then they light the body on fire.  They’re holding one big funeral down there.  Those are all the people we couldn’t save.”

“That’s—” Monty shook his head.  “I’m sorry.  That has to be hard.  But you did save a lot of them.”

“Not enough,” Clarke softly said.

Monty frowned.  “Is this why you’re not okay?”

“One of the reasons,” Clarke replied.  “I feel like if I had done something differently, maybe none of those bodies would be out there right now.  If I could have gotten through to my dad or if I had seen what was going on long ago.  Wells is my best friend; I saw the Chancellor all the time, and I never realized he had been corrupted.  Now, Wells is missing, Raven was shot, Octavia and Miller are both hurt, and I may have lost my father for good.  How many people were left in Arkadia?  They could all be dead now for all we know.  And look at all of those people down there who lost their lives.  And that’s only a fraction of them.  Most of them never even made it out of their villages.”

“This isn’t your fault, Clarke,” Monty said.

“People keep saying that, but it really doesn’t make me feel any better,” Clarke replied.  “I convinced Lexa to trust me.  I got her to come back to Arkadia with me because I told her I could help stop everything.”

“And you did,” Monty said.  “You got Raven’s help and she did what she does best.”

“But what if there had been another way?” Clarke asked.  “A better way that wouldn’t have caused so much death?  I was only concerned about the people I care about.  I didn’t think about what would happen to _her_ people.  I was so afraid that she would march on Arkadia that I would have said anything to stop her even if it was a terrible plan.”

“I may not know Lexa, but something tells me she wouldn’t have gone along with a terrible plan,” Monty said, nudging her shoulder with his.  “You shouldn’t be beating yourself up.  The only thing to blame here is the thing that caused all of this.  The rest of us are just trying to live.  You did your best, Clarke.  That’s all anyone can ask for.”

“My best clearly isn’t good enough,” Clarke replied as she looked down at all the pyres.

* * *

 

“Need any help?” Finn asked, coming up behind Clarke as she felt the man’s pulse.

“Actually, this is the last person I need to check on,” Clarke said.

Finn nodded.  “Everyone doing okay?”

“So far,” Clarke answered.  “We let two more people go today, but another person came back with an infection.  We’re doing what we can for it, but right now it’s a waiting game.”

“So, after this, you’re done?” Finn asked.

Clarke nodded.  “Yeah.  Nyko’s taking over for the night.”

“Well, some of us are going to hang out for a bit; do you wanna come since you’re almost done here?” Finn asked.

“Thanks, but I think I’m going to get some sleep,” Clarke replied.  “You never know when more people are going to come looking for help.  I should probably sleep while I can.”

“Probably a good idea,” Finn said, nodding.  “If you change your mind, we’re gonna be over at the place Bellamy’s staying in.”

Clarke gave him a smile.  “Have fun.  Tell the others I said hi.”

“Alright,” Finn replied.  “Night, Clarke.”

“Goodnight,” Clarke replied.

As Finn left the tent, Clarke checked one last thing on the patient and then did a final walk through to make sure no one needed anything.  She knew they wouldn’t be alone overnight since someone was always there to observe them, but doing one last round always gave her some peace of mind.  She’d already lost far too many people that she’d tried and failed to help, and she was doing everything she could to make sure it didn’t happen again.

When she had finally checked on her last patient, Clarke grabbed her things, said goodnight to Nyko and Ivy, and walked out of tent, where she was immediately hit by the frigid wind.  Shivering, she pulled her coat a little tighter and then buried her hands in her pockets as she tried not slip on the icy, snowy roads.  Unlike Arkadia, no one really seemed to bother trying to clear the roads in Polis.  At least not beyond their front doors, which left Clarke doing her best not to slip and fall.

By the time she walked into the tower, Clarke had never been more grateful to be indoors.  It was still chilly inside, but at least she could begin to feel her face again.  And she knew a warm fire awaited her in her room, where she fully planned on pulling up a chair and relaxing in front of it until she could no longer hold her eyes open.

Clarke didn’t get the chance, though.  As soon as she got up to her room and changed clothes, there was a knock on the door, and Clarke opened it to find Lexa on the other side.  And considering she hadn’t talked to or even seen Lexa since that morning, her sudden appearance came as a bit of a surprise.

“May I come in?” Lexa asked.

“I’ve never known you to need permission before,” Clarke remarked before taking a step to the side, opening the door a little wider.  “Or to knock on the door.

Lexa walked in, hands clasped behind her back, and stood just inside the room.  Clarke closed the door and stood there for a few moments waiting for Lexa to say something.  When she remained silent, Clarke walked over to her discarded clothes, glancing at Lexa as she picked them up.

“Are you ever going to tell me why you’re here?” Clarke asked as she threw her dirty clothes onto the pile with the others.

“It’s been a long day,” Lexa said, looking around the room rather than at Clarke.  “I thought you could use the company.  If you do not wish for me to be here, I can leave.”

“I didn’t say—” Clarke paused for a moment and a smile slowly made its way across her face.

“Why are you giving me that look?” Lexa asked with a slight frown.

“Because you’re here to sleep with me,” Clarke knowingly replied, watching Lexa shift slightly.

Lexa glanced away for a moment before looking back at Clarke.  “There is nothing wrong with relieving stress after a hard fought day.  It has been a difficult week for everyone, and I can only assume you are no exception.”

“You’re right,” Clarke replied, stepping forward.  “The past few weeks have been the hardest of my life.  I just thought—” Clarke shook her head.  She thought about telling Lexa that she had heard her and Indra talking, but she quickly decided against it.  “I just figured last night would be a one-time thing.”

“Very well,” Lexa said.

“Wait,” Clarke called out when Lexa turned on her heel.  “I didn’t mean for you to go.  I just meant that when it happened last night, I assumed it would be the only time.  That doesn’t mean I don’t want it to happen again.  Because you’re right.  It has been a long week and we could both use a little stress relief.”

Lexa nodded and took a few steps toward Clarke.  “Does that mean you wish for me to stay?”

“Yes,” Clarke replied.  “Stay.”


	18. Drowning

Clarke laid back on the bed with a satisfied sigh while Lexa continued to hover above her.  There was a look in Lexa’s eyes that Clarke hadn’t really seen before, and part of her wanted to ask what Lexa was feeling, but she knew better than to ask.  Lexa didn’t really do feelings—or at least pretended not to—and Clarke knew the question would only make things weird between them.

“Do you need to go?” Clarke asked.  “Are people waiting on you?”

“I’m Heda; people are always waiting on me for something,” Lexa replied.

“I would hate that,” Clarke said, rolling over onto her chest, and looking at Lexa.  “I couldn’t imagine having that much responsibility.  Never having any time for yourself—” Clarke shook her head.  “I know it can’t be easy.”

“Being a leader never is,” Lexa replied.  “We do it because we want what is better for our people.”

Clarke hummed and ran her hand through her hair.

“Are you working in the clinic today?” Lexa asked.

“Yes,” Clarke answered.  “My mom is there right now; I’m supposed to go in later.”

Ever since her mom arrived, they had begun calling the tent ‘the clinic’ just like in Arkadia.  It was nothing like the clinic in Arkadia, though; really, it was just a large, makeshift tent with anything they could use as a bed.  While there were a few buildings big enough to accommodate a large number of people, none of them were close enough to the front entrance.  And when it came to helping the wounded, time was often of the essence.

“Two ambassadors are set to arrive before sunset,” Lexa said.  “They wish to join me and my advisers.  I wish for you to join us.”

“Why me?” Clarke asked.

“Because your people are here, Clarke,” Lexa stated.  “Lincoln has informed me that some of them wish to join our fight when we attack Mount Weather.  If they are going to join, they should have one of their own representing them.  I know you don’t like to think of yourself as a leader, but that is what you are.”

“Do I even get a choice?” Clarke asked.

“You always have a choice,” Lexa replied.

“Wouldn’t someone like Bellamy be a better choice?” Clarke asked.  “He was a guard and knows more about fighting than I do.”

“Maybe, but your people look to you, not Bellamy,” Lexa replied.

“Fine,” Clarke said with a sigh.  “I’ll join you.”

Lexa nodded.  “I will send Lincoln for you when the time comes.”

Clarke had no doubt that Bellamy would be more helpful than she could be, but if Lexa wanted her to be there then she wasn’t going to say no.  Plus, she didn’t even know if Bellamy would do it if he was asked.  She could tell he really didn’t trust the people of Polis.  And she knew he wasn’t the only one.  Most of the people who had come from Arkadia seemed wary of them.  Not that Clarke didn’t understand; Lexa’s people were quite different than Clarke’s, and it was hard to trust people you had just met, especially when you never even knew they existed.

“Was that a knock?” Clarke asked when she heard something from across the room.

“Are you expecting someone?” Lexa asked back.

“No,” Clarke said, frowning.  “It’s probably just one my frien—” Clarke stopped and stared at her mom in shock as she walked through the door.  “Mom!”

Abby froze the instant she saw Clarke, her eyes flitting from her daughter to Lexa.  Clarke just wanted to cover her face in embarrassment, but fought the urge to do so.  On the other hand, she noticed that Lexa didn’t appear to be fazed at all.

“I guess this would explain why no one seemed to know where Lexa was,” Abby said, regaining her voice.  “I was going to see if you knew, but I clearly have my answer.”

“Why were you looking for Lexa?” Clarke asked, pulling the cover up a little higher since there was no way she could get dressed in any sort of dignified manner.

“We are running low on some supplies and I was told I need your approval to send some people out to collect them,” Abby said, looking at Lexa but glanced at Clarke.  “That is, if the snow hasn’t killed everything.  At this rate, though, we’ll be out of some things by the end of the week.  And that’s if no one else arrives and needs our help.  I would go myself, but the guards at the gate wouldn’t let me through.”

“I will send some people to your clinic,” Lexa replied.  “You may tell them what you are looking for and they will go for you.  My people are very familiar with these woods and will find what you are looking for if it is out there to be found.”

“Have them talk to Nyko; he knows what we need,” Abby said before looking at Clarke.  “And you and I need to have a talk later.”

“Great,” Clarke mumbled to herself as her mom turned on her heel and left the room.

* * *

 

“You know, you really don’t have to do that,” Clarke said for the second time as she watched Octavia hobbling around, serving food to the patients in the clinic.  “You should rest.”

“I’m tired of resting,” Octavia replied.  “It isn’t going to kill me to walk around.”

“I don’t know if I’d consider what you’re doing walking,” Clarke joked.

“You’re about as funny as Bellamy,” Octavia retorted.  “And we all know he has no sense of humor.”

“I just don’t want you to make your ankle worse,” Clarke said.

“I’m fine,” Octavia replied.  “It barely even hurts now.  I wrapped it like you showed me.”

Clarke sighed.  She knew she wasn’t going to be able to stop Octavia from doing what she wanted.  The girl was one of the most stubborn people she had ever met, and she learned long ago that no one—not even Bellamy—could really tell her what to do.

“Fine,” Clarke said.  “But please sit down if it does start hurting.”

“I’ve had a lot worse and didn’t have any choice but to work through it,” Octavia commented.  “At least here I’m not stuck in that little kitchen or stuck serving the privileged.  The guys here aren’t trying to grab at me, and if they did, I wouldn’t have to act like I don’t want to slap the shit out of them.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke replied.  “I know how much you hated it there.” Clarke opened her mouth but paused for a moment.  “I never thanked you for getting the key from the Chancellor.  You risked a lot to do that.  I know how bad it would have been if you’d been caught, but you still did it.  So thank you.”

Octavia shrugged.  “What’s the worst they could have done? Kill me?  If we failed and the world was going to end anyway, what did it matter?  Besides, I’ve always known the Chancellor was an asshole.  The more chances to screw him over, the merrier.”

“But you didn’t know the world could end if you didn’t do it,” Clarke said.

“No, but I knew something bad had to be going on,” Octavia replied.  “Breaking into Jaha’s office isn’t something Clarke Griffin would do unless it was life or death.  And then when you escaped from jail, I knew something big was happening.  I wondered if that girlfriend of yours had something to do with it, and I guess I was right.”

“Lexa is not my girlfriend,” Clarke stated.

“No?” Octavia said.  “From what I saw, you two looked fairly cozy.”

“Yes, and then she held a knife to my throat and kidnapped me,” Clarke replied.  “That was all an act.”

“Not for you,” Octavia said.  “And you were falling pretty hard for her.  Are you telling me that just stopped?”

As Octavia spoke, Clarke noticed her glancing to the side a lot and finally looked over her shoulder to see what Octavia was so interested in.  As soon as Clarke saw Lincoln, though, she knew exactly what Octavia was looking at.

“Have you talked to him?” Clarke asked.

“You mean other than when he carried me?” Octavia replied.  “No.”

“Then maybe you should go over there,” Clarke said, nodding toward Lincoln.

“You’re right,” Octavia said.  “I think I’ll do that.” Octavia turned around.  “Hey, Bell.”

“Where’s she going?” Bellamy asked when Octavia bound past him.

“I think she has a question for Lincoln,” Clarke said.

Bellamy frowned.  “Are they spending time together?”

“I don’t think so,” Clarke answered.

“Good,” Bellamy replied.  “I don’t like it.”

“Lincoln seems like a good guy,” Clarke said.

“Yeah, well, I don’t trust any of these people,” Bellamy said.  “I mean, do you really trust any of them?  They could be lying to us about everything.”

“I do,” Clarke replied.  “I would trust Lexa with my life.”

A scowl appeared on Bellamy’s face.  “Well, I don’t, and I don’t think you should either.  We may have a common enemy now, but what happens once that enemy is defeated?”

“They could say the same thing about us,” Clarke remarked.  “Our weapons are far better than theirs.  What’s to stop us from overtaking them once Mount Weather is defeated and that thing inside is no longer a threat?  Nothing.  We just have to trust each other, and I trust them.”

“I hope you’re right,” Bellamy replied.  “For all of our sake.”

“Don’t worry,” Clarke said.  “I know I’m right.”

* * *

 

“I was told you haven’t eaten today,” Abby said, setting a plate of dried meat and fruit in front of Clarke.

“I’ve been busy,” Clarke replied.

“I heard,” Abby said, glancing across the room at one of the empty beds, and then giving her daughter a sympathetic look.  “I’m sure there is nothing you could have done.  Sometimes these things just happen.  It sounded like it must have been a blood clot and there really is nothing we could have done for it.  It could have happened no matter who was here.”

Clarke sighed and picked up a strip of meat.  “But it didn’t.  I was here.”

“If you still want to be a doctor then this isn’t the last time this will happen,” Abby said.  “You should know that right now.  You’re going to lose patients.  Sometimes it _will_ be your fault and sometimes it won’t.  All you can do is learn from it and try to stop it from happening again.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I really don’t want to be a doctor,” Clarke replied.

“I didn’t think so,” Abby said.  “But I guess being an engineer was even less appealing, huh?  Well, maybe things will change and you won’t have to do either.  Or if you do have to stay with it, maybe you’ll like it a little more with some more training.  You’ve sort of been thrown into the deep end here.”

“And now I’m drowning,” Clarke remarked.

“How is everything else?” Abby asked, looking around.  “Does everyone look okay?”

Clarke nodded.  “A few showed up today with minor injuries, so I treated them and let them go.”

“Have they shown up with the plants yet?” Abby asked.

“No,” Clarke said.  “Not yet, but they said it could be a while, right?  Lexa said some of them are her best men, so I’m sure they know how to take care of themselves and will make it back.”

Abby hummed.  “Yes, Lexa—”

“Mom!” Clarke said, dragging out the word.

She knew she was whining, but she really didn’t care.  She was embarrassed enough that her mother of all people had walked in on her and Lexa while they were still naked and in bed together.  The last thing she wanted to do was talk about it.  Even though she was an adult, there were still just some things she’d rather not discuss with her mom.

“I didn’t realize you two were serious,” Abby said, ignoring Clarke’s obvious discomfort.

Clarke sighed.  “We’re not.”

“It looked serious from where I was standing,” Abby said.  “You need to be careful, though.  Lexa is a lot different than you.  You’ve grown up in two different worlds.”

“I’m aware that,” Clarke replied.  “But there’s nothing to be careful about.  Lexa and I are not serious and we never will be.  Lexa doesn’t exactly believe in love or feelings.  Which is fine because she’s not my girlfriend if that’s what you’re thinking.  Lexa and I—it’s nothing more than two people finding a bit of comfort in a bad, stressful situation.”

“Stress relief,” Abby said.

“Yes,” Clarke quietly replied.

Abby sighed.  “Well, you’re an adult so I guess you can do whatever you want.  But I still think you should be careful.  Lexa may not do feelings, but you do, and I would hate to see you get hurt by her on top of everything else that is happening.  Because I know you like her.  It was obvious when she was in Arkadia and I doubt anything has changed even if the circumstances did.  So be careful.”  She looked down and pushed the plate toward Clarke.  “And eat.”

“Are you going to be able to take over for me here?” Clarke asked before ripping off a strip of the meat and putting it in her mouth.  “Or is Nyko going to do it?”

“I can,” Abby said.  “How long are you going to be gone?”

Clarke shrugged.  “Lexa didn’t say, but I’ve been in these meetings before, and they usually take a while.  Everyone wants things to go their way and think they know best, so there’s a lot of back and forth.  And there’s a lot to figure out.  We’re going to war, after all.  What they decide on is quite literally life or death.”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Abby said.  “Do you think Lexa would let us train some of the people here?  Officially.  I know we’ve both been training people as we went along, but I thought we could take it a step farther.  Since most of the healers that were here are now gone and are probably never coming back, I thought we could help.  If we are going to war, we’re going to need more than just us and Nyko.”

“I’m sure Lexa would be happy to let us do it,” Clarke replied.  “She would do anything for the benefit of her people.  I’ll bring it up to her.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but the ambassadors are here,” Lincoln said.

Clarke nodded to Lincoln and then looked at her mom.  “Thank you for the food.”

“Be careful, Clarke,” Abby said, and Clarke knew she was still referring to her situation with Lexa.

“Don’t worry,” Clarke replied.

* * *

 

Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa as the ambassador from the Lake People talked.  She could see it in Lexa’s eyes that she didn’t agree with anything the man was saying even though her expression remained neutral.  Clarke had learned a while ago that Lexa’s eyes sometimes gave her away, though.

“What do you think?” Lincoln whispered, leaning toward Clarke.

“Surrounding Mount Weather?” Clarke said.  “I think it sounds like suicide.  We’ll all be dead before we ever get inside.”

“That’s because it is suicide,” Lexa said, interrupting Ledo, having overheard Clarke.  “We may outnumber them, but their defenses are unlike anything we have come up against.  Most scouts we have sent to the Mountain have never returned.  They have never been able to penetrate the outer doors.  The land around Mount Weather is under surveillance by a being that does not need sleep, does not need to eat—it will not miss that we’re coming.  We will not be able to outsmart it, which means we need to come up with a way to get inside before we are all killed.  And surrounding the Mountain will only make our warriors an easier target.”

“So what do you suggest then?” Ledo asked.  “You say my idea is suicide, but I don’t hear you coming up with a better plan.”

“Watch your tongue,” Indra practically growled.

Lexa looked at Clarke.  “You have been quiet.  Do you have any input?”

Clarke glanced around as everyone looked at her.  “I, um—I know I mentioned it once before, but what if there is some way of taking out the dam.  The only reason the AI has survived so long in Mount Weather is because it’s the one place left with power.  If we took that away, wouldn’t we be able to stop it?”

“Yes,” Lexa said.  “But I suspect Mount Weather may have a source of power other than the dam.  It isn’t something I have been able to prove, but given how intelligent this entity is, it would make sense for it to have a backup.  Since I don’t know what or where this backup is, destroying the dam will likely do nothing.”

“You have not mentioned this before,” Indra said.

“That is because it is something I have only recently come to realize,” Lexa replied.  “I have been reviewing all the documents we have received from our scouts and from the time the Ice Nation tried to overtake the Mountain, and I have come to believe there are backups.”

“She’s right,” Clarke said.  “It makes sense.  Anything this smart wouldn’t want to be that vulnerable.  It would want redundancies.  Maybe even more than one.  We certainly don’t know enough about Mount Weather to rule it out.”

“I brought my army here because our leader thought you had a plan,” Ledo said, squaring his shoulders.  “He did not send them here to get slaughtered.”

Lexa held her hand up just as Indra put her hand on her dagger.  “Our people are already being slaughtered.  Twenty-nine villages have been destroyed, including the Trikru’s four largest.  The Azgeda and Sankru have also sustained heavy losses.  And those are only the ones we have been informed of.”

Lexa began marking out villages on the map and Clarke followed every her hand as she crossed off village after village.  Next to each village was a number—presumably the number of people each village held—and Clarke couldn’t help noticing how many were in each of them.  And while it felt like they had been flooded with injured people, it was nothing compared to how many of them never even made it out alive.

“Are you okay?” Lincoln asked.

Clarke absentmindedly nodded.  “I guess I just never realized how many had died.”

Lincoln crossed his arms over his chest.  “The village I grew up in was one of the destroyed.  Only one person escaped.  One out of about forty.”

“One out of eighty,” Clarke said to herself, averting her eyes from the map.  “That means we’ve lost—”

“Around a thousand people,” Lincoln said for her, looking over at her.  “Yes.”

Clarke took a deep breath and slowly released it.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Lincoln said.  “And we’ll get our justice.  We’ll bring the Mountain down.”

Clarke nodded and took another deep breath.  “I hope so.”

* * *

 

“Clarke,” Lexa said, stopping her before she left.

Clarke turned around, receiving angry looks from both Indra and Leda, though the looks were for entirely different reasons.  She knew the one from Indra was due to her relationship—if that’s what you could call it—with Lexa while Ledo’s was due more to jealousy.  As Lincoln had told her, most of the clan leaders tried to be Lexa’s favorite thinking that she would somehow put their people above the rest.  And Ledo was clearly trying to win Lexa’s favor on his leader’s behalf, but Lexa had been asking for Clarke’s opinion more than his.  Luckily Ashe, the ambassador of the Blue Cliff clan, didn’t seem very concerned with it.  In fact, she seemed content to just watch and listen.

“Yes, Heda?” Clarke asked.

The word felt strange coming out of her mouth, but she hoped the others would respect her more if she showed respect for their ways.  While Lexa wasn’t over the people of Arkadia in any way, they were working together, and Lexa had been nice enough to allow them into Polis.  So even though Clarke didn’t really think of Lexa as Heda or Commander, she figured she should start referring to her by her title.  At least when they were around other people.  Otherwise, she was still just Lexa to her.

Leda and Ashe both left the room, one looking more disgruntled than the other, while Indra hung back.  That was until Lexa gave her a look that clearly told her to go.  And since everyone knew Lexa didn’t usually like having to tell people something more than once, Indra walked out of the room with her jaw clenched.

“She really hates me,” Clarke observed as soon as the door was closed behind Indra.

“Indra doesn’t like many,” Lexa replied.

“No, but she really seems to hate me in particular,” Clarke replied, glancing over her shoulder at the door as if Indra could somehow hear her.

When Lexa didn’t say anything else, Clarke asked, “Is there something you wished to talk to me about?  Did I say something stupid? Are you suddenly regretting inviting me to this?”

“You did well, Clarke,” Lexa replied.  “The others may not approve of you being here, but you bring a different perspective.  But that is not why I wished to speak.”

“Oh,” Clarke said, furrowing her eyebrows slightly.

“I wanted to ask if I would see you later,” Lexa said as she clasped her hands behind her back, which Clarke noticed she sometimes did when she was uncertain.

“Oh,” Clarke replied again, glancing down before looking up at her again.  “Actually, I’m pretty tired.  I thought I would go back to my room and get some sleep.”

“I understand,” Lexa said.  “It’s been a long day.  You’ve been spending a lot of time at the clinic.  I know that must be tiring.”

“It is,” Clarke agreed.  “Not to mention that I’ve been a little occupied the past few nights.  Not that I’m complaining.  I just haven’t gotten a lot of sleep, so I thought I would call it an early night.  I never know how much sleep I’m going to get.  People may show up in the middle of the night.”

Lexa nodded.  “Goodnight then, Clarke.  I hope you sleep well.”

“Goodnight,” Clarke replied, giving Lexa a slight smile.  “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Lexa said.

Clarke hadn’t really expected Lexa to ask.  They’d spent the last two nights together, but given Indra’s disapproval—and she imagined everyone else’s if anyone knew—and the fact that Abby had walked in on them that morning, Clarke figured it would be the end of it.  But that didn’t seem like it was going to be the case, which is why Clarke actually felt guilty when she walked out of the room and toward the elevator rather than going to her bedroom to sleep like she said she was going to.

After getting to the bottom of the tower, Clarke walked down the dark streets.  She wasn’t overly familiar with the area the others from Arkadia were staying in, so it took her a few minutes to find the building she was looking for.  And she only found it then because she heard Jasper’s laugh coming from the building.

“Clarke, hey,” Bellamy said when he opened the door.  “You finally come to hang out with us?”

“Actually, I came to speak with Monty,” Clarke replied.

Bellamy’s smile fell a bit and he nodded, looking over his shoulder.  “Hey, Monty.”

Bellamy turned and walked away, leaving the door open, and a few moments later, Monty walked around the corner.

“Hey, Clarke!” Jasper said, smiling.  “Do you want a drink?  It turns out they have some decent moonshine here.”

“No, thank you,” Clarke replied.  “Can I talk to you?  Alone?”

“Yeah, sure,” Monty said, stepping out of the building, and closing the door.  “What’s up?  Is everything okay?”

Clarke nodded.  “Everything’s fine, but I need your help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for this taking so damn long to post. Hopefully I'll be a little better from now on since I'm more determined than ever to get this done quickly.


	19. Honesty

Monty was looking down, his brow furrowing every few moments as if he was contemplating everything Clarke had said.  Clarke stayed silent, figuring it was best to let Monty think through it all.

“Who else have you told about this?” Monty asked after a few minutes.

“No one,” Clarke replied.  “Just you.  And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention it to anyone else yet.”

“Can I ask what may be a really dumb question?” Monty asked.

“You want to know why I’m coming to you,” Clarke said.

“Actually, I want to know why you’re not going to Lexa,” Monty replied.  “She’s their leader and she seems to trust you.  So why not just go to her?  Why do you feel like you need to do this yourself?”

“Because I already talked Lexa into one of my plans and look at what happened,” Clarke said.  “Innocent people are being killed.  People who didn’t see any of this coming.  And it’s all because I wanted to save _my_ people.  I didn’t think what could happen to her people; I was only worried about mine and now they’re suffering the consequences.”

“Okay, say she hadn’t gone with your plan and she had her army march on us,” Monty replied.  “What’s to say all this wouldn’t be happening anyway?”

“At least her army would have been ready,” Clarke said.  “Her people could have been prepared for what was to come.  Mount Weather wouldn’t have been able to ambush them the way it is.  Instead, I talked her into going with me back to Arkadia and nothing went according to plan.”

“But you stopped the AI,” Monty replied.

“For the time being,” Clarke said.

“Are you ever going to stop blaming yourself?” Monty asked.  “You have to see this isn’t your fault.  This was going to happen either way.  People were going to die; there’s nothing you could do about that.  It’s just a part of war.  That doesn’t make it suck any less, but you can’t put the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

Clarke sighed.  “Everyone keeps telling me that.  That none of this is my fault.  It couldn’t have been avoided.  That Mount Weather still would have attacked and these people would have died either way.  And I know they’re right; I know all of this probably would have happened either way, but that doesn’t make me feel any less terrible about it.”

“It’s okay to feel bad about it, Clarke,” Monty said.  “I know I do.”

“Maybe all of this isn’t my fault, but I still need to do something about it,” Clarke stated.  “Enough people have already died.  Going to war with that thing in Mount Weather is only going to cause hundreds of more deaths.  Probably more.  At least if I fail at this, mine will be the only life lost.  Plus, maybe I can take down some of its defenses even if I can’t stop the AI myself.  Maybe Lexa and her army will stand a chance then.  Because right now, I don’t know if they will.”

“You’re really willing to sacrifice yourself like that?” Monty asked.

“If that’s what it takes,” Clarke replied.

Monty sighed and leaned back in his seat.  “So, you really want to do this?”

“Do you think you’ll be able to do it?” Clarke asked.  “I won’t be able to do it without your help.”

“I don’t know,” Monty replied.  “I can try.  If that’s what you really want.”

“It is,” Clarke said.

Monty nodded.  “I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t promise anything.  I’ll need supplies and I don’t know if I’ll be able to find them around here.  But I’ll start looking tomorrow and see what I can find.  Maybe I can even get some of the people around here to help me.”

“Just be discreet, okay?” Clarke replied.  “If my mom or Bellamy or Lexa figure out what I’m thinking of doing, I know they’ll try to stop me.  Promise me you won’t tell anyone else.  Not even Jasper.”

Monty sighed but nodded after a few moments.  “I promise.  I won’t tell anyone.  You have my word.  I won’t even tell Jasper; mostly because I know he can’t keep a secret to save his life.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said.

“I just hope you know what you’re doing,” Monty replied.

“So do I,” Clarke said.

“Hey, Clarke,” Monty called out when Clarke stood and began walking away.

“Yeah?” Clarke asked, turning back around.

“You’re wrong about this being your fault, but if you can’t find a way to believe that at least find a way to forgive yourself,” Monty said.

Clarke nodded, looking down.  “I’m trying.”

* * *

 

Clarke glanced at several of the guards as she walked down the hallway to the war room.  Like everyone else she passed by, the two men look exhausted, and Clarke wondered how long they’d been awake.  Of course, Clarke figured she looked much the same.  While no one new had come in overnight, there’d been some setbacks with a few of the patients.  Thankfully, much to Nyko’s quick thinking, they had been able to stabilize them.  Unfortunately, it took a while to do that, though, so Clarke was running on very little sleep.

One of the guards was already opening the door as Clarke approached.  She paused, giving him a nod, and walked in to find that she and Lexa were the only two there.  Frowning, she looked toward Lexa, but the other woman didn’t acknowledge her in any way.

“Where is everyone?” Clarke asked.

“They will be here shortly,” Lexa said, her eyes never leaving the map in front of her.  “You’re early.”

“Oh,” Clarke said.  “I guess I thought it was later than it is.” Clarke rubbed her eyes and shook her head.  “I guess that’s what happens when you only get a few hours of sleep.”

“I guess that’s what happens when you go out for the night instead of getting sleep,” Lexa said, looking over at her before looking back down again.

“What, are you having your guards spy on me now?” Clarke asked.

“No,” Lexa replied.  “I saw you from my window.”

“Oh,” Clarke said, turning, and walking toward the table that had several books sitting on it.

“You do not have to lie to me, Clarke,” Lexa stated.  “You can tell me if you do not wish to spend the night with me.  You don’t need to try to spare my feelings.  It will not matter to me if you wish to be elsewhere.”

“It’s—it’s not like that,” Clarke said, shaking her head.  “I—”

“You do not need to explain,” Lexa interrupted.  “You are free to do what you want.”

“I just needed to speak to one of my friends,” Clarke said.  “The only reason I was out so late was because I went to see how Nyko was doing at the clinic.  Which was good because it turned out he could use an extra pair of hands.  It was nearly dawn before we were finally able to stabilize them.  Neither of them would have made it if you hadn’t sent the people to gather the plants we needed, though, so thank you.”

“You do not need to thank me,” Lexa replied.  “We will need all the people we can get once we march on Mount Weather.  It is worth risking a few to save many more.”

Lexa fell silent but Clarke continued watching her.  If it was possible, Lexa looked even more tense than usual.  Before Clarke could comment on it, though, Indra walked in.  As soon as she saw Clarke, her eyes visibly narrowed, and Clarke resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“A word, Commander,” Indra said.

“What is it?” Lexa asked.

“Alone,” Indra said, scowling at Clarke.

“Clarke may stay,” Lexa replied.

Indra looked like she wanted to argue, but she seemed to think better of it.  “We found a traitor in the city.” Indra looked at Clarke again.  “One of _her_ people.”

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked.

“The man was seen trying to enter the tower,” Indra said, ignoring Clarke’s question as she turned her eyes to Lexa.  “When the guards tried to stop him, he killed one and left the other to die.”

“Where is he now?” Lexa asked.

“The others stopped him as he made his way up the tower,” Indra answered.  “The man came in with the outsiders.  He was coming to kill you.”

“Do you know who he was?” Clarke quickly asked.

“Only that he was one of yours,” Indra practically spat.

“The AI must have been controlling him,” Clarke said, doing her best to keep her voice calm even though she felt anything but.

“Then how many others are under its control?” Indra asked.  “How many enemies did you bring into our city?”

“Enough,” Lexa said.  “I have known this was a possibility.  It could have just as easily have been one of the people from our villages.  We knew it was a risk letting anyone in.”

“We should question the others,” Indra said.  “There could be more of them.  We need to kill them before they kill more of us.”

Lexa stared at Indra for a moment before turning to Clarke.  “Indra is right.”

“Lexa—”

Lexa held up her hand, silencing Clarke.  “Have you spoken to your friend, Bellamy, since he has arrived?”

“Yes,” Clarke said, furrowing her brows.  “Why?”

“Is he himself?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded.  “He’s Bellamy.”

“Then tell him to begin looking for anyone else who may be under the AI’s control,” Lexa replied.  “Tell him to do whatever it takes.”

“Commander—”

“No one knows the people from Arkadia better than those who came from the city,” Lexa said, interrupting Indra.  “If Clarke trusts that Bellamy is himself then I will also trust that he is.”

“Should I go tell him right now?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded.  “The sooner, the better.”

* * *

 

“If you’re looking for Finn, he just left,” Raven said as soon as Clarke walked into the room.

“Actually, I was coming to check on you,” Clarke replied.  “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better,” Raven said.  “Mostly I’m tired of being stuck in here.”

“I know, but you still need to rest,” Clarke replied.

Raven sighed.  “So everyone keeps saying.”

“You’ll be back out there before you know it,” Clarke replied, walking toward the bed.

Raven patted the bed as she said, “So, I hear Bellamy has a new job.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and sat down.  “He told you?  No one is supposed to know; it kind of defeats the purpose of interrogating people.”

“I made him tell me,” Raven replied.  “He was being too weird about it, and I knew exactly what he was doing.” She shrugged.  “He eventually admitted it.”

“Hopefully no one else figures it out,” Clarke said, shaking her head.

“So, was someone really going to try to kill the commander?” Raven asked.

“That’s what Indra thinks,” Clarke replied.

“And what do you think?” Raven asked.

“I think she’s probably right,” Clarke said.  “But I don’t know if he was there to only kill her.”

Raven’s eyebrows rose. “Do you think he was going to kill you too?  I mean, I guess it’d make sense.   You are sort of the leader of us now.  It would make sense to take you both out.” Raven tilted her head as she looked at her.  “Is that why you look all freaked out right now?”

“What?” Clarke asked, furrowing her brows.

“Given your confusion, I’m going to guess that’s not it,” Raven replied.  “So what’s got you so freaked out?”

“I’m fine,” Clarke said, shaking her head.

“That was convincing,” Raven remarked.

Clarke glanced at Raven and then looked forward, deciding whether or not she actually wanted to talk to Raven about this.  It wasn’t like it was something she could go to her mom about—lord knows she already knew more than Clarke wanted her to—and her best friend wasn’t around.

“It’s gotta do with Lexa, doesn’t it?” Raven said after a few moments.

“Promise this will stay between us?” Clarke replied.

“Yeah, of course,” Raven said.

“Last night I went to talk to Monty about something,” Clarke explained, hoping Raven wouldn’t ask what they talked about.  “I kind of lied to Lexa about where I was going.  I told her I was going to bed when she asked—” Clarke shook her head.  “That’s not important.  She saw me, though.  She saw me leave the tower, which she sort of confronted me about this morning.”

“She isn’t going to have you killed, is she?” Raven asked.  “Is that what you’re worried about?”

Clarke shook her head.  “No, nothing like that.  It’s just that she told me I’m free to do what I want, but I can tell she’s mad at me.  In her own little silent, Lexa way.”

“Okay, so you lied, she found out, and now she’s angry,” Raven stated.  “She’s probably just jealous.  She probably thinks you went off and screwed someone else and she doesn’t like it.  So, tell her you didn’t and boom—problem solved.”

“What do you mean ‘someone else’?” Clarke asked.

“Oh, please,” Raven said, waving her off.  “Like it’s not obvious that you two have been doing it.  Have you see the way you two look at each other?  It’s so obvious.”

“I really can’t imagine the commander being jealous,” Clarke said with a shake of her head.

“Are you kidding?” Raven asked.  “You really haven’t figured it out.  Anyone with eyes can see the way she looks at you.  She does it when she thinks no one is paying attention, but she’s really not that subtle about it.  Neither of you are.  Besides, she came into the clinic way too often to just be checking in on patients.  She spent half the time glancing at you.”

“I don’t think so,” Clarke replied.  “I overheard her telling Indra that what happened between us didn’t mean anything and that she doesn’t have any feelings for me.”

Raven rolled her eyes.  “To be so smart, Clarke, you’re an idiot sometimes.  Do I really have to be the one to tell you that Lexa likes you?  And you like her?  So why don’t you two get your shit together soon because we’re about to go to war with an artificial intelligence.  I mean, what do you really have to lose?”

* * *

 

“Why don’t you go get some rest?” Abby said, putting her hand on her daughter’s shoulder.  “I can take it from here.”

Clarke knew what her mother was doing.  The little boy she’d been watching had an infection that was clearly getting worse.  His breathing was becoming more and more ragged and Clarke doubted he was going to last the evening.  Her mom wasn’t supposed to take over until the morning—Nyko was the one who was supposed to relieve her—but Clarke knew her mom could tell the end was nearing for the boy and she didn’t want her daughter to see it.

“It’s okay,” Clarke replied.  “I know he isn’t going to make it.”

“That doesn’t mean you need to be here,” Abby said, squeezing Clarke’s shoulder.  “Go.  Try to enjoy the rest of your evening.  Join your friends; I overheard them telling Octavia they were getting together.  Now go.  And that’s an order.”

“You realize we’re not in Arkadia anymore, right?” Clarke asked.

“Yes, but I’m still your mother,” Abby replied.

Clarke sighed as she stood up and then looked down at the boy.

“I’ll make him as comfortable as I can,” Abby said.

“I know,” Clarke replied.  “Thanks.”

Abby gave her a sad smile and Clarke turned, walking toward the corner of the tent, where she grabbed her coat.  It had begun snowing since she’d taken over, and in the few hours she’d been there, several inches had already fallen.

The street was a lot emptier than it usually was at this time.  Most people appeared to have gone inside to get out of the cold and the snow.  She wasn’t completely alone, though; there were several kids running around, kicking the snow at each other, and she could hear more people down the road.  There were shouts and cries, but also the sound of laughter.  And when one of them yelled that he was going to get someone back, she realized it was Jasper who had said it and she shook her head at her friends.

“Clarke.”

Clarke startled at the sudden sound and turned around to find Lexa standing behind her with her hands clasped behind her back.

“I didn’t see you there,” Clarke said.

“Do not worry, Clarke, I am not spying on you,” Lexa replied.

Clarke opened her mouth to respond, but Lexa was already walking away.  Lexa’s shoulders were tense—if it was possible, even more tense than usual—and she looked like she had the same look she’d had on her face for the past two days when looking at Clarke.  It was subtle, but Clarke knew her well enough now to see it.  While Lexa had never been the most open about things, it was like she’d now shut down.  Clarke knew it was because she was mad at her for lying, but she didn’t know how to get through to her.  She’d tried talking to her earlier only to be brushed off.

“Lexa, can we talk?” Clarke asked.

“I have things to do, Clarke,” Lexa replied, not bothering to stop or to look at Clarke.

“You can’t talk to me for a minute?” Clarke said, following after Lexa, who completely ignored her.  “You know, you’re being a little childish.”

Lexa finally paused and Clarke could practically see the debate in her head over whether or not she was going to respond.  After a few moments, though, Lexa continued on her way.  Before Clarke could think about what she was doing, she grabbed a handful of snow, packed it into a ball, and threw it at Lexa’s back.

Lexa froze and slowly turned toward Clarke while two nearby guards ran toward them, their weapons drawn.  Lexa raised her hand, stopping both of them in her tracks, and then began walking toward Clarke.

“You should be careful, Clarke,” Lexa said.  “Another attack like that and I may let my guards end your life.”

“I wouldn’t call a snowball an attack,” Clarke replied.  “And it got you to stop, didn’t it?  Look, I get that you’re angry at me for lying—”

“I am not angry, Clarke,” Lexa interrupted.  “I do not care what you do.”

“If you don’t care then why are you being like that?” Clarke asked.  “It’s not like you have feelings for me, right, so why does it matter?”

Something seemed to flash in Lexa’s eyes, but as quickly as it came, it was gone again.  “You’re right.  It doesn’t matter.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have more important things to do.”

* * *

 

Clarke was stopped at Lexa’s door by her guards.  It was the first time they had actually stopped her, and she wondered if Lexa had ordered them to or if they were just being more cautious after the recent near-miss.  Although, judging by the way they were looking at her, she suspected it was the former.

“Can I speak to the commander?” Clarke asked.

“She said no one is allowed to enter,” the guard on the right, whose name she though was Timo, answered.

“It’ll only take a few minutes,” Clarke replied.  “Can you just ask her?”

The other guard shook his head.  “We have our orders.”

Clarke nodded and then paused for a moment before loudly saying, “Lexa! Let me in!”

Both guards looked surprised by the sudden outburst, but before either of them could say anything, the door behind them had swung open and they both stepped aside, standing at attention.

“You do not give up, do you?” Lexa asked.  “Go away, Clarke.”

“You’re not mad about the snowball, are you?” Clarke asked, and she noticed Lexa’s jaw clench.  “Can we please talk and then I promise to leave you alone.  For now.”

Clarke noticed Timo’s eyes flit between her and Lexa, but he remained silent.  Lexa, on the other hand, kept her eyes firmly on Clarke, who could once again see the debate going on inside her head.

“Five minutes,” Clarke added.  “That’s all I ask.”

Lexa didn’t reply, but she did step to the side, though she looked annoyed at herself for doing it.  Clarke tried not to smile about the fact that Lexa had caved, knowing this wasn’t the best time for it.  Instead, she kept her face passive as she walked into the room and the door was closed behind her.

“Why are you here, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“I’m here because we need to talk,” Clarke replied.  “And because we need to stop lying to each other.”

“I told you—”

“That it doesn’t matter,” Clarke interrupted.  “Which I know is a lie.  I can see it on your face.  You’re mad that I lied to you, and I’m sorry for doing it.  I needed to talk to Monty about something, and I was afraid you wouldn’t understand.  I’m sorry that I lied; I should have just told you the truth.”

“Is that all?” Lexa asked.

“While I’m being truthful, I should probably tell you I overheard you and Indra talking,” Clarke added.  “After I left that first morning.  You told her we didn’t have feelings for each other.  And maybe you don’t and I’ve tried to convince myself that I don’t either, but I do.  Which is why we should stop what we’ve been doing.  Things are going to get too complicated if we don’t.  That’s all I wanted to tell you.  I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Wait,” Lexa said when Clarke turned on her heel.  “I—”

Lexa appeared torn as she looked away from Clarke, who wanted nothing more than to get out of the room.  She hadn’t really intended on telling Lexa she liked her.  She’d barely admitted it to herself, so she was a little surprised when the words had come tumbling out of her mouth.  She was tired of pretending, though.

“Why are you telling me this?” Lexa asked after a few seconds.

“Because if I’ve learned anything recently, it’s that life is too short,” Clarke replied.  “I spent this morning watching a little boy slowly die.  We’re at war right now.  I already have enough regrets, and I didn’t want this to be another one of them.  And I’m not saying I regret what’s happened because I don’t.  I just don’t want to regret not being honest with you.”

Clarke turned to leave again, but she was stopped when Lexa’s hand grabbed hers.  When she turned around, Lexa was standing only a few feet away, her brows furrowed slightly as her eyes locked with Clarke’s.

“Stay,” Lexa quietly said.

“Lexa—”

Clarke was cut off when Lexa leaned forward, bringing their lips together.  The kiss was short, and when Lexa pulled away, her eyes roamed all over Clarke’s face.

“Lexa—”

This time, Clarke just didn’t know what to say.  She thought back to her conversation with Raven and wondered if her friend could be right.  It was hard to tell what Lexa was feeling, though, and she didn’t seem like the type to just blurt it out like Clarke had.  But when Lexa leaned forward again, pulling their bodies closer together, Clarke wondered if _that_ was her way of saying how she felt.  Of saying that she didn’t want Clarke to leave because she actually felt the same way as Clarke.

“Will you stay?” Lexa asked, pulling back just long enough to get the words out.

Clarke nodded as she put her arms around the back of Lexa’s neck while Lexa’s strong arms were wrapped around her waist.  Even though Clarke knew staying could be a terrible idea, she found it hard to care at the moment.  Especially when Lexa had been the one to ask her to stay.  How could she really say no?


	20. Goodbyes

“Wow. Did you ever even think there were this many people still alive in the whole world?”

Clarke shook her head as she and Finn watched more and more people marching through the streets of Polis. The rest of the armies had been coming in throughout the day, amassing in Polis as they waited to attack Mount Weather. And while Polis was a large city, it was becoming a little uncomfortable with so many people there. Even though most of the warriors were staying in tents around the city’s edge, a lot of them came into the center of the city during the day.

“Do you know how many more are coming? Finn asked.

“I don’t know,” Clarke answered. “She just said the rest of them would be here by sundown.”

Finn looked up at the sky. “That’s gotta be in only a few hours.”

As Clarke watched the men—and quite a few women—walk past the tent, she was amazed at how big a lot of them were. They were unlike anything she had ever seen, and it was obvious they had spent their whole life training. The people of Arkadia had always been much more svelte, relying on their guns to fight rather than brute strength. There were plenty of archers and spearmen who tended to be a little smaller than the ones with swords or fist weapons, but even they were larger than any of the guards in Arkadia.

“Are you feeling as inadequate as I am right now?” Finn asked.

“Just right now?”

Clarke looked to the side, where Raven was hobbling along with a makeshift crutch. “I thought I told you to rest.”

“You did,” Raven replied. “But I got tired of it. Don’t worry, I didn’t take the stairs. I had them bring me down in that nifty little elevator. Although, I can’t say I wasn’t tempted. I’ve been in that bed for so long that I feel like there’s a Raven shaped crater in the middle of it.” She stopped next to Finn and looked toward the street. “So what are we doing? Other than feeling inadequate?”

“Just watching everyone come in,” Finn said with a shrug.

“I guess it’s not long now, huh?” Raven replied.

“No,” Clarke said. “This is the last of them.”

“They’re having that banquet tomorrow night, right?” Finn asked.

Raven frowned. “Banquet?”

“Apparently it’s tradition before going to war or something,” Finn replied. “They all gather and eat and stuff.”

“The head of each clan—or a representative in some cases—all attend along with some of their best warriors,” Clarke said, thinking back to when Lexa had explained it to her. “It all seems very political, but Lexa said to not have one is considered bad luck. They’ve been doing it for dozens of years.”

“Yeah, and Clarke’s been invited,” Finn added.

“Of course she has,” Raven replied with a slight smirk.

“She asked me to represent Arkadia at the banquet,” Clarke said, ignoring the look on Raven’s face. “She told me that even though we’re not a clan, we’re an ally and it’s necessary for us to be there.”

“And who are you taking as your best warriors?” Raven asked. “Please tell me you’re not bringing Murphy along. I’m pretty sure he’ll start a war between us and them if you do.”

“Bellamy, Miller, Monroe, and I also asked Finn if he would come,” Clarke replied. “My mom is going to be here at the clinic or I would have asked her to come, too.”

“Finn’s no warrior,” Raven said.

“No, but I have been helping make weapons for them,” Finn replied.

“I want people there who I can trust,” Clarke said. “Lexa warned me that some may be hostile to us being there, so I wanted people who would watch my back.”

“In that case, can I come?” Raven asked.

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” Finn answered before Clarke could.

“What Finn said,” Clarke replied. “Otherwise, yes, I would have asked you to be there, but I’m not giving you an excuse to not rest.”

“Fine,” Raven said, sighing. “I guess it’s for the best, anyway. Monty wants my help on something and he told me its urgent.”

“What’s he want your help on?” Finn asked.

Raven glanced at Clarke before looking at Finn. “He told me it’s top secret, so you can’t know. Sorry.”

Finn frowned. “Seriously?”

“It’s not fun being kept out of the loop, is it?” Raven asked. “But, yes, really. He’d kill me.”

“If it’s something that could be dangerous or—”

“It’s fine,” Raven interrupted. “It’s not like I’m going to get shot again.”

“Speaking of, you really need to get back to your room,” Clarke said. “I know you’re feeling restless, but you really should rest. At least for a few more days and then my mom wants to work on rehabilitation.”

“I can’t wait,” Raven replied. “Seriously. I can’t. Can we do it tomorrow, instead?”

Clarke smiled. “I’ll ask her if you go back to your room right now.”

“Deal,” Raven said, immediately turning and slowly walking back the way she came.

* * *

 

Clarke opened the door to the war room and looked inside. She had been hoping to get the room to herself for at least a few minutes, so she was relieved to see no one else was there yet. They would be having a meeting soon, but she had deliberately gotten there early. She just hoped no one else decided to come early, too.

As Clarke walked across the room, she pulled her sketchbook out of her bag and flipped toward the middle of it. She stopped in front of what she dubbed the ‘war table’ and pushed the papers aside to find the map of Mount Weather beneath. After glancing over her shoulder to make sure she was still alone, Clarke began copying the map along with any other information she thought she may need to know. The map was the most important, though; Clarke knew she would never make it to Mount Weather without it, and she certainly wouldn’t be able to make it inside.

Clarke knew it was going to be next to impossible to pull off her plan. Even if Monty managed to get her the things she needed, she knew it be virtually impossible to make it to Mount Weather, get inside, and do what needed to be done. She wasn’t stupid. She knew this was basically a suicide mission. But yet she had to try. After seeing all the death this thing in Mount Weather had already caused, she couldn’t sit back and let even more die in a war that they would very likely lose.

As impossible as she figured this was going to be, a little part of her was hopeful that Mount Weather would be so busy looking for an army that they wouldn’t notice one girl. She knew it was really her only chance of being able to pull things off. And if there was any chance at all then she had to try.

“You’re early.”

Clarke jumped and put the sketchbook behind her back as she turned to look at Lincoln. His eyes were immediately drawn down as she tried to hide what she had been doing, and she knew she had been caught. Rather than commenting on it, though, they both just stood there in silence for several moments as if they were both waiting for the other person to acknowledge it. Before either of them said anything, however, the door opened again as one of Lexa’s guards walked in.

“I think I’ll come back since I’m so early,” Clarke finally said, immediately making her way out of the room.

“Clarke,” Lincoln said, stopping her when she was already halfway down the hall. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but you should be careful. A lot of the others don’t trust you or the other outsiders. If they saw you sneaking around they won’t hesitate to kill you. They won’t stop to ask questions.”

“You’re not going to ask?” Clarke asked when Lincoln began to turn.

“I trust you,” Lincoln said with a slight shake of his head. “Just watch out for Lexa. She doesn’t like people keeping things from her, and she definitely doesn’t like people lying to her.”

“I’ve noticed,” Clarke replied.

Lincoln nodded and slowly turned, walking back into the room. Clarke sighed to herself once the door was closed, but before she could get back to her room, Lexa stepped into the hallway. They both froze, locking eyes for a moment before Lexa gave her a barely-there nod of acknowledgement just as Indra also came into the hall with a disapproving scowl.

“So this is where the party is.”

Indra’s scowl only grew as she looked past Clarke to Raven.

“Okay, maybe not,” Raven said, looking between Indra, Lexa, and Clarke. “I’ll just—”

“Wait,” Clarke called out as Raven tried to leave. “I was actually hoping to talk to you for a moment.”

Raven nodded, frowning slightly, and followed Clarke to her room. Clarke opened the door and glanced down the hallway, but Indra and Lexa were gone.

“Are we going in or are we just going to stand here?” Raven asked. “Let me guess, you just wanted to avoid,” she motioned down the hallway, “that awkwardness.”

“Basically,” Clarke replied.

Raven nodded. “Fair enough. I just came to tell you that Monty needs to talk to you. So, when you’re done with your top secret meeting, go to your other top secret meeting that I know absolutely nothing about.”

Clarke opened her mouth as Raven winked at her, but closed it a moment later and nodded. “Thanks.”

* * *

 

“Oh, there you are,” Monty said, standing up from where he’d been sitting on the floor, and stretching. “I was hoping you’d be out early, so I came up to see, and then I thought I’d just wait around.” Monty looked over Clarke’s shoulder and pulled his cloth bag a little closer. “Can we talk inside?”

Monty opened the door and walked inside before Clarke even answered. She could tell he was nervous and was afraid he had some bad news for her.

“Clarke.”

Clarke stopped, looking at Monty before turning to Lexa. “Yes?”

“Will I see you later?” Lexa asked, putting her hands behind her back as she looked at Clarke.

Clarke glanced at Monty, whose eyebrows shot up. “I told my mom I’d stop by the clinic tonight, so it would be late.”

“That is fine,” Lexa replied. “I’ll be up late, too.”

Clarke nodded. “Then I’ll see you later?”

“Yes,” Lexa said before giving Clarke a small smile.

“Should I ask?” Monty remarked as Lexa walked away.

“No,” Clarke answered.

“I think that’s all the answer I need,” Monty said.

“What did you want to talk to me about,” Clarke said, closing the door behind her. “I’m guessing it’s bad news or it could have waited until I came to you.”

“Actually,” Monty pulled his bag off his shoulder and reached inside, “I did what you asked. One portable EMP device as you requested.”

“It works?” Clarke asked.

Monty nodded. “I fixed up an old radio to test it on. It actually works better than I thought it would, but you’ll need to probably be in the same room as the thing you’re trying to take out. In this case, you’ll need to be in the room with the servers.”

“Servers?” Clarke asked.

“I’m just guessing, but I’ve always been interested in how technology was before everything got wiped out and I imagine something as powerful as this AI would need a server to run,” Monty explained. “I could be wrong, but either way, this thing should destroy it. As long as you get close enough. It’s hard to explain what it is, but you’ll know it when you see it. It should be a big box or boxes and have a lot of lights and wires and the room will probably be pretty cold.”

“I’ll take your word for that,” Clarke said. “So, how does this thing work?”

Monty held up the device, a small box with wires that was being held together with some tape. “Flip this switch and then hit the red button. It’s as simple as that.”

“And you’re sure it’s going to work?” Clarke asked.

“Ninety percent,” Monty replied. “That’s why I’m coming with you.”

“That’s not possible,” Clarke said, shaking her head.

“I know more about this than you do,” Monty argued. “If something goes wrong, you’re going to need me to be there to fix it.” He handed the device to Clarke and then pulled two walkie talkies out of his bag. “I got these working like you asked, but the range isn’t good enough. If you’re at Mount Weather, we won’t be able to talk to each other. And forget about if you’re inside.” He shook his head. “I know more about electronics than you do. I’ve been tinkering with them all my life. Can you say the same?”

Clarke sighed. “No.”

“That’s why you need me,” Monty replied. “So I’m coming with you. If you want this to work, I’m your best option.”

“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt,” Clarke said. “That’s why I’m doing this.”

“I know, but I also know what I’m getting into,” Monty replied. “I know the dangers. I want to do this.” He paused for a moment. “You won’t be able to do this without me. You know I’m right.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this—”

Monty smiled. “When are we leaving?”

“Tonight, after the banquet,” Clarke replied. “I told Lexa I would be there, so I have to go or there will be people looking for me. We’ll go as soon as we can so we can have a head start.”

“Do you think people will come after us,” Monty asked.

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied. “Lexa may not want to risk the people, but that doesn’t mean our people won’t try.”

“You’re right,” Monty said. “I’ll have my things ready to go. Just give me the word.”

“Let me know if you change your mind about this,” Clarke replied.

“You’re not going to get that lucky,” Monty said, shaking his head, and then giving her a smile. “I’ll be ready when you are.”

* * *

 

Clarke looked down at her clothes and ran a nervous hand over her hair. She felt a little ridiculous, but she seemed to fit in quite well with everyone else. Lexa had warned her that the banquet was a time when everyone tried to show off, and she had been right. Everyone seemed to be trying to upstage, and the Arkadians definitely stood out from the crowd. With the exception of Clarke.

Lexa had been insistent that she look the part, and Clarke knew it was just important for Lexa as it was her. Clarke knew a lot of Lexa’s people didn’t approve of her or the others from Arkadia being in Polis. But they were there, and whether Clarke liked it or not, everyone did see her as their leader. That meant she had to play the part. Not just for herself, but for her friends, her family, and even Lexa, who she knew had taken a big risk on her. The last thing she wanted was to be the cause of Lexa’s downfall, so if it meant feeling ridiculous as this feast then she would do it.

“I feel like I should start calling you Little Heda.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Finn and turned to find him right next to her. “Please don’t.”

“Did you raid her closet or something?” Finn asked, laughing when Clarke shifted slightly. “Oh my god. You did. Well, you certainly look the part. I wouldn’t want to mess with you.” Finn paused for a moment. “Was there a memo I missed?”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“Bellamy,” Finn said, nodding to the side.

Clarke couldn’t help smiling when he walked up to them and asked, “How do they stand to wear this? I feel like I can’t move.”

“Your pants are a little—stiff,” Clarke commented.

“Try a little tight,” Finn replied.

“Blame Octavia,” Bellamy said.

“I’m guessing this was Lincoln’s doing,” Clarke replied.

“He told her about this and she decided I need to try to fit in,” Bellamy said, looking entirely unamused as he glanced down at Clarke’s clothes. “Lexa’s handiwork?”

“She also thought I should try to fit in,” Clarke replied.

“Maybe I should go throw some paint on my face, too,” Finn said. “Although, something tells me nothing is going to help us fit in.”

Clarke’s eyes followed the two men who were passing by. She recognized one as the leader of one of the clans, but she’d never seen the other man before. They both had matching looks of disdain on their faces as they passed by Clarke and her friends. Not that she was surprised by it. The clan leader had already made his hated of her quite clear.

“Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to be winning them over anytime soon,” Bellamy remarked.

“Ignore them.” The three turned and looked at the woman behind them, a redhead with a tattoo that covered most of her face. “Not everyone is unhappy you’re here.”

“That’s a bit of a relief,” Finn replied.

The redhead looked at Clarke. “I actually owe you my thanks. If it wasn’t for you, my sister and father would both be dead right now. You saved them both.” She nodded to Clarke, who knew it was a sign of her respect. “Thank you, Clarke of the Ark People.”

“The Ark People?” Finn asked.

“It’s what they are calling you,” she said before turning and walking away.

“Well, at least not everyone is against us,” Finn said. “That’s something, right?”

“That doesn’t mean the other won’t try to kill us,” Bellamy replied.

“Maybe not us, but I don’t think Clarke is in any danger,” Finn said, glancing at her. “Not as long as Lexa is their commander.”

“What makes you think that?” Bellamy asked.

“Do you see the way she’s looking at Clarke right now?” Finn replied.

Clarke deliberately kept her eyes off Lexa as Finn and Bellamy both looked the Commander’s way.

“She hasn’t taken her eyes off Clarke all night,” Finn added, causing Clarke to blush.

“It must be nice to have their commander wrapped around your finger,” Bellamy remarked. “That’s smart.”

Clarke frowned. “You make it sound like something I deliberately did. And she isn’t wrapped around my finger. She just knows we can help each other. If she didn’t, she would have killed me long ago. Her people always come first for her.”

“You sure about that?” Bellamy asked.

“Yes,” Clarke looked over at Lexa, “I’m sure.”

“What about you?” Bellamy asked. “Who comes first for you, Princess?”

“Everyone,” Clarke answered

* * *

 

Clarke looked around the room, making sure she wasn’t leaving anything out of her bag. As she glanced around the room, she went over the list in her head, afraid she was going to forget something important. After all, it wasn’t like she could come back if she forgot anything, and she knew it could possibly be the difference between life and death.

Once Clarke had checked and rechecked that she had everything, she finally closed her bag and threw it over her shoulder. As she was about to walk out the door, though, Clarke paused. She knew Monty was waiting on her and that the sooner they left the better, but Clarke still found herself setting her bag next to the door.

Clarke wasn’t naive; she knew she probably didn’t stand a chance of succeeding, much less making it back alive. And while she’d seen Lexa at the banquet, she’d barely gotten a chance to speak to her, and Clarke didn’t want to leave things like that. She didn’t want the last time she’d see her to be across a crowded room. Which is why she walked down the hallway, her bag remaining in her room, and knocked lightly on Lexa’s door.

As Clarke stood there, she wondered where Lexa’s guards were. She usually had two posted at the door, but the closest guards were near the door to the stairwell. Clarke couldn’t help wondering if Lexa had deliberately ordered them away, predicting that Clarke would show up at her door that night.

“It’s me,” Clarke said when she heard a slight noise from inside the room.

When Lexa opened the door, Clarke’s eyebrow rose as she glanced down and saw what the other woman was wearing. Lexa was generally in shorts and a shirt or tank stop of some kind, but right now she was in nothing but her underwear. Not only her underwear, but the skimpiest pair Clarke had ever seen.

“Is this why you have no guards?” Clarke asked, forcing herself to look into Lexa’s eyes.

“I have guards at all the entrances,” Lexa said. “No one will get through. And yes.”

“What would you have done if I was someone else?” Clarke asked.

“Are you going to keep asking questions or are you going to enter?” Lexa asked.

Clarke stepped into the room without another word, and then turned to Lexa as she closed the door behind her. “How did you know I’d be by? Or was it just a lucky guess.”

“I didn’t know,” Lexa answered. “I guess I just—hoped. In two days I will be leading my people into war. This may be one of the last nights we will get to spend together.”

Clarke felt a pang of guilt as she thought about how this would be the last night, but she couldn’t tell Lexa that. She knew Lexa would never let her go if she knew what Clarke was planning. She would tell her it was foolish and probably lock her up to stop her. Which is why Lexa couldn’t know. Clarke had to try to stop this war from happening, and if it meant lying to Lexa to try to stop it then that’s what she was going to have to do.

“Lexa—”

“What is it, Clarke?” Lexa asked when she stopped and looked down.

“Do you think about what’s going to happen once all of this is over?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” Lexa replied. “But there is no point in dwelling on what may or may not be. It only takes your focus away from the present, and right now is what we should be concerned with.”

“You’re right,” Clarke agreed. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”

Not only did Clarke wonder what would happen to her and Lexa if they both managed to survive—and she knew that was a big if—but she also wondered what would happen to her family and her friends. She wondered if they would be allowed to stay in Polis or if they would go back home. Then again, she didn’t even know if there was a home to go back to or if any of it would even matter. After all, if they couldn’t stop the AI then they would all be doomed.

“Me too,” Lexa whispered after several moments.

Clarke looked up, wondering if she’d heard Lexa correctly. Judging by the way Lexa was avoiding her eyes, though, Clarke figured she’d heard her correctly.

“It’s okay, you know?” Clarke said, looking at Lexa. “You’re allowed to think about these things. You may be the commander, but you’re still human. You’re allowed to want things. It’s what makes life worth fighting for.”

“And what do you want?” Lexa asked.

“Right now?” Clarke asked back. “You.”

Lexa wrapped her hand around the back of Clarke’s neck, bringing their lips together, and Clarke tried to put everything else out of her mind. It wasn’t easy with everything she had ahead of her, but she knew this was probably the last time she was going to see Lexa. She wanted to be able to enjoy every moment of if without distraction.


End file.
